Tough love doesn't work with dementia!
After 16 years of caring for mom, struggling through all the complexities, jumping through every hoop presented by for profit caregiving organizations and medical professionals watching my mother and I struggle/stumble in an already contentious relationship:
I found answers I've needed all along as to how to better deal with my mom at AlzheimersHope. Although mom has never been diagnosed with Alz I have experienced the same difficulties in communication/cooperation all these years. The 10 absolutes presented by Jo Huey are a priceless tool for any caregiver and should be standard issue for family caregivers and professionals alike.
NOT ONCE in these 16 years has any "professional" offered up any resources, information or guidance in regards to caring for my mother. They are however perfectly willing to crucify us for not knowing and/or using the wrong methodology.
Adult Protective Services here in Michigan has become little more than a tool for profit based caregiving organizations to intimidate family members/caregivers, separate the elderly from their families and subsequently their life savings. This of course is unethical, unconscionable, immoral and reprobate but the caliber of criminals we as family caregivers find ourselves dealing with in this era of money mongers.
So please; if you were raised with tough love and possibly if this is all you have ever known:
If you care for your parent and are struggling with communication and/or cooperation regardless of a diagnosis of Alz:
Before this has irreversible damage to your own health as well as your relationship with your parent:
Find and use the 10 Absolutes; any other skills you can master in order to have a quality relationship with your parent and strengthen your ability to keep the for profit vultures off of them.
Because I wouldn't wish this nightmare on anyone ever again.