Caregiving......akin to living hell?

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Regardless of what anyone says, I have to say that care giving is akin to living hell. It really is.....the time and aggravation alone is mind boggling. It's never ending! It's literally a 24/7, it is a 24/7 commitment. It gets very old real soon......the same regimen day in and day out. It do not wish that torture on my worst enemy. Servitude......that word says it all. Most families will have to endure this hell at some point in their lives. It's as though life gets going smoothly for awhile and then the curse of old age comes into the picture and the gravy train stops and the torture takes over. It's just one of the many pitfalls of life. It's the way life is......for all of us. No one gets to live a good life, we all have to endure our share of craziness in our life......whether is be financial trouble, health problems......or whatever.......Murphy's Law is always there to give us trouble. You all know how Murphy's Law works......"what can go wrong, will go wrong". I hold that saying to be most true.


Oh, it's not THAT bad. One of my main problems is boredom with the mundane. I mean, there is nothing exciting about spending hours in a doctor's office or cleaning the bathroom 3-4 times a week. And I get so tired of cooking nutritious meals -- my mother is diabetic. Torture? no. Boredom? yes.
No, it is living in a time warp or groundhog's day. The same craziness over and over. I have answered the same question 25 times for 14 days in a row with mother who has dementia. I have listened to the same stories 100 times for 3 years and the ending never changes. They were wronged, someone did them wrong or someone tried to do them wrong and they will never forget it. They are right - some of these things happened before I was born and I am pretty old.
Groundhog Day YES, and Roscoe you have what we do down pat! I keep thinking maybe this is all a bad dream and I will wake in the morning and have a great " over coffee" conversation with my husband, but as burned out says I have listened to the same stories, try to answer the same questions from sunup to sundown & sometimes in between. God Bless all the caretakers.
What is wrong with you people? I work as an RN 12-14 hours a day in a Psychiatric Hospital and then come home to relieve the caregiver of my mother for the remainder of my day/night until I get up and come back to work on the psych unit for another 12-14 hours a day. I gave up my pretty little townhouse and freedom to take care of my mother whom has later stage Parkinson's disease after my father past recently. All of my belongings are stored, I have been displaced but I am doing this because I love her. She took care of me for 18 years, it is hard, very hard, I am tired. She doesn't want to sleep until midnight and I leave for work at 5 am but do you hear me whinning? NO. I am content with the fact that I am doing all I can for her, I like her stories 100 times. You will wish you could hear your loved one's voice one day. Don't be selfish!!!!
If attitude alone was the deciding factor of how hard this job is, I'd agree with you, Weekendsoff. However, I'd guess you haven't read some of the horror stories on this site. Before judging all these hardworking, selfless, CARING individuals, I hope you do. And .. if you still have that attitude after reading how complicated and difficult it can be, I can only say, "Karma."
I think what you fail to realize "LadeeC" is that I am a Registered Nurse and have been for many years so I do know how complicated and difficult care giving can be. I have no tolerance for selfishness.
How nice, weekendsoff, that you have the luxury of being busy outside of your loved one's presence for twelve to fourteen hours a day. That must be nice. I think I could be fresher and more attentive to my Mom's stories if I had the opportunity to relate to healthy people my own age for a few hours a day. I have a Master's degree in social work and I left a job as a petroleum engineer because there is NO ONE else to care for my Mom (who I love very, very much.) I'm not whining. I am here to exchange comfort with people who understand me and I mean people who know what 24 hours a day with a single human being is like. I'm not selfish - I didn't hire some stranger to come in and spend those endless hours with my mother - I chose to be here to give her comfort and love and the very best care available to her. I don't regret my job but I don't apologize for being tired sometimes (like you) and for even needing a pat on the back sometimes.

I'm really glad you're so happy with your choice as well.
12-14 hours a day, would that be 5 days a week? I doubt that, Three days on, 4 off, we have RNs in the family also, if you only have the weekend off, you are in need of a real vacation! who cares for your mother the 12-14 hours every day you work? if I get out a total of 2 hours a week, that would be 7 days, I feel like I scored a victory. The bathroom & grocery store are my respite. And yes I had a great job too, but that is in the past. are you the head nurse on that psych ward, or do you get your hands dirty like the rest of us! your comments are not what I needed to hear after a highly charged round of sundowning.
Yes I agree with the other poster's re weekendsoff....those of us who do this 24/7 do suffer from burnout and boredom and have a right to be unhappy with the situation...I does not mean I would have it any other way...I too love my mother and would and will give all to her but long for company and intellectual stimulation...your perspective is because you do have a job taking you away from the home and giving you some other outlets and interaction with functioning human beings....I found your comment very intune to your situation. when you are completely homebound and have no other company or conversation in your life but your charge it Is very trying!!!! Again I love my mother dearly but will complain of the lonliness and isolation this job provides. if I had the luxury to pay for help to let me get out n work I would also....but my folks and I have gone thru hard times financially!!
please be considerate of others situations and I don't think any of us don't love our parent but certainly are suffering from CG burnout/compassion fatigue...being a nurse should be aware of that syndrome
yes respite is the moments I toilet or shower and 2nd is way less than it used to be...last time I dyed my hair painted my nails or wore makeup is way to long to even remember!!! not cause I don't want to but whoTF has the energy for that anymore when your respite is a moment on the pot or ?? I just told my friend that story as a matter of fact...she is helping me with faith and encouraging me to pray and had to share my story that I do my praying on the pot...only time I can be alone for a minute!!!!

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