How to Legally Force a Loved One to Move to a Senior Living Facility

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The writing is on the wall: Your aging loved one is no longer safe living at home. Maybe Dad has started fires by forgetting to turn off the stove. Perhaps Mom is prone to falling and keeps winding up in the hospital. You’ve tried to reason with them, talked about the benefits of senior living, encouraged them to tour local communities, begged, pleaded and bribed, but nothing works. Your loved one refuses to even consider moving.

Caregivers encounter all kinds of challenges when it comes to ensuring their loved ones’ wellbeing. But when an elder refuses to accept the help they need and continues to put themselves in harm’s way, family members are left feeling powerless, frustrated and worried. What’s a caregiver to do when their loved one insists on living independently? The only way you can legally force someone to move into a long-term care facility is to obtain guardianship of that person.

How Does Guardianship Work?

Seeking guardianship of an elder is not an easy or inexpensive process, according to Susan B. Geffen, an elder law attorney, gerontologist and author of Take That Nursing Home and Shove it! The process involves going to court and is often lengthy. In some cases, a family member will initiate this proceeding, or the county’s adult protective services will petition the court to have a guardian appointed. The latter typically happens when a neighbor or other concerned party reports that a senior is experiencing abuse or neglect, whether it is at the hands of someone else or self-imposed.

Guardianship can only be established over a person who is found to be incapable of making sound decisions and caring for themselves. If a senior is competent, they can choose how and where they want to live, even if these decisions put them at risk of injury, illness or death.

“From a legal standpoint, judges value the independence of an individual, including older adults,” Geffen says. “The courts will bend over backwards to make sure that these rights are not trammeled, even if some of a person’s decisions are colorful.”

The legal system so respects each individual’s right to make decisions about their life that, if a cognitively impaired adult has moments of lucidity and can state that they want to remain at home, the judge will usually rule that they can do so and then order the appointed guardian to establish appropriate systems, such as in-home care and home modifications, to ensure their safety and wellbeing.

Why do the courts take this stance? Geffen explains it is in line with the ruling a 1999 U.S. Supreme Court decision that ruled unnecessary “institutionalization” of people with disabilities is a type of discrimination prohibited by the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). According to Geffen, this decision has become shorthand for the principle that institutionalization (which includes senior living settings like assisted living and nursing homes) should be a last resort for people who need long-term services and supports.

The Misconception Surrounding POA

Some people mistakenly believe that a financial power of attorney (POA) or medical POA gives them the authority to force their loved one to move, but that is not the case. “No document gives the caregiver that authority,” notes Geffen. There are certain things you can and can’t do with POA. These documents only give someone the power to “be the impaired person’s voice for legal, financial or health care matters,” Geffen says.

According to Larry Abrams, administrator for Workmen’s Circle MultiCare Center in New York, in cases where guardianship is not obtained and family members somehow convince an elder to move to a senior living community, there is no guarantee that the elder will stay there. “We usually can’t force someone to stay,” Abrams says. “If an elder wants to go home, we can’t legally stop them if they are lucid and able to make rational decisions. We put a discharge plan in place that states how and where they will continue receiving care. That plan might include in-home care. However, as long as the person has mental capacity, we must allow them to leave and report the case to Adult Protective Services.”

On the other hand, “If the elder does not have the mental ability to make rational decisions, we won’t let them leave,” Abrams assures. “A psychiatrist will evaluate the resident, and if they find that the resident lacks sufficient mental capacity and will be unsafe living on their own, we say, ‘Sorry but we can’t let you go.’ It’s a tricky situation, because oftentimes, the resident becomes more challenging to manage.”

The Process of Obtaining Guardianship

Any attempt to take over the rights of another individual is costly and time-consuming, and the process may not have a favorable outcome for the person seeking guardianship (known as the petitioner). Judges, lawyers, psychologists, neuropsychiatrists and Adult Protective Services staff are often involved. The court assigns an independent attorney, called a guardian ad litem, to represent the elder (known as the respondent). The petitioner is responsible for paying the filing fee and the costs of bringing the suit. Examples of such costs include the guardian ad litem’s fixed fees and any expenses associated with the respondent’s medical, neurological or psychological evaluations for determining whether they are competent to handle their own affairs.

In some cases, the courts do favor the concerned caregivers who petition for guardianship. However, a perfect storm of events must occur for this to happen. A court-appointed representative will conduct a multi-faceted analysis of the family. A neuropsychologist must interview the elder and report that they lack the mental capacity necessary to determine if they should continue living at home. A court-appointed attorney then investigates and takes all these results into consideration. If everyone in the process agrees that the elder lacks rational decision-making capabilities and the petitioner is a responsible and trustworthy individual capable of functioning as a guardian, the judge will rule in favor of guardianship.

Weighing Independence and Wellbeing

Regardless of a family’s unique situation, getting an elder to move from their home is never easy. The best scenario is to broach the subject frequently and long before it needs to be acted on. In this way, the entire family can work together to understand how a loved one wishes to live out their golden years and then plan accordingly. Unfortunately, many families struggle to discuss this topic, and seniors’ willingness to embrace change may decrease as the decision approaches.

Ultimately, family caregivers must learn to respect their aging loved ones’ wishes and try their best to reconcile them with the best decisions for their health and safety. If a senior is not capable of partaking in these decisions, then guardianship may be the only way to ensure their wellbeing.

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51 Comments

Unless you obtain legal guardianship, you could be in a position where the parent could force you to do what THEY wanted or you could be held negligent or guilty of elder abuse. I can understand the idea of respecting the elder's autonomy unless clearly shown to be incompetent, but how does this work legally with the right of family members to simply step back, refuse to assist the elder in any way that the family member did not want to consent to, and be free from any threats of legal action for abuse or negligence? In other words, the elder has rights, but what rights to the family members have? Can they "just say no" and tell the elder who is asserting rights that "fine, go ahead and the consequences of your unwise decisions will land on you." There are situations where the family members need to detach from the elder in order to preserve their health and sanity - can they step back and in effect say to the bureaucracy, "you are so anxious to see their rights are protected, so go ahead and deal with them yourselves." What does filial responsibility mean in actual situations. Seems to me that a family member caregiver could easily become a legalized slave.
Anyone out there who can discuss the legal issues? Give advice to people in this type situation? Seems to me that this could enable abusive parents to continue the abuse. I suspect from the comments on this forum that there are quite a few people who need to protect themselves from parents who are narcissists/sociopaths and desperately need the knowledge of what the laws require and how to protect themselves from manipulation. After all, there are plenty of abusive parents and they don't end up in prison for life, so they have to be dealt with when they get old. I'm really opposed to this idea that just because you are old, or someone's parent, that you have all the rights and others are your legitimate prey. Sounds harsh, but unfortunately it is reality for too many victims.
Rovana your concerns and questions are valid. Elderly has the right to chose, but if their choices cause an adult child to leave their elderly parents to their own devices they could be charged with abandonment. This right is an extention of the law based on American's With Disabilties Act. The law was based on the institutionalizing of disabled individuals to include the elderly in assisted living and nursing homes. It never took into account where these people were able to live. I believe in the rights for individuals, but it should include the rights of everyone and not just for certain individuals.