Why Caregivers Shouldn’t Judge Each Other

4 Comments

In a recent post, "How I Stopped Resenting My Siblings," I described my experience of letting go of resentment toward my siblings. A couple of readers felt that I was saying that men could not be good caregivers. Men, in fact, can be very good at caring for their aging parents, and I personally know some of those men. I never intended to slight male caregivers, and I regret that my post came off that way.

The point of my post was to share my story of taking ownership of choices I had made, letting go of harbored resentment, and making peace with myself. When my husband and I decided to build our home with an in-law apartment, I never consulted with my brothers first, or asked them how they were going to help. If I could do it all over again, I would have called a family meeting to discuss how we all could take on the task. In writing my post, I was hoping my experience could help at least a handful of other caregivers.

Caregiving is an emotionally-charged job. We come into it with diverse family histories, relationships, and experiences that can affect how and why we take on this role. My writings are invariably going to reflect my own history, but my intentions are not to judge or belittle. I only desire to offer insights and provide encouragement to other caregivers—both women and men.

Ann Marie writes about the challenges and rewards of caring for her aging parents—both of whom have lived with Ann Marie and her husband for 11 years. She is also the owner of A.Mecera Communications, which she founded in 1985. Her shop develops and implements marketing solutions for non-profit and for-profit companies and organizations.

View full profile

You May Also Like

Free AgingCare Guides

Get the latest care advice and articles delivered to your inbox!

4 Comments

Ann Marie:
Thank you for sharing your journey...it has been helpful in realizing that we are human and we all struggle with the emotional and logical aspects of the difficult choices we must make for our family members.

You made a valid point ..communication is the key element...if we all learn to communicate and have family meetings there will be far less animosity between siblings and family members. When decisions are made without any input from the family members problems and hurt feelings will arise....and sometimes it is difficult to move past those feelings.

We all want is the best care for the family member...nothing else.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and journey with us as you are an inspiration to many! May God Bless and keep you safe in your journey!
All of it could simply have been avoided if a discussion had taken place.
Ann Marie:
Thank you for sharing your journey...it has been helpful in realizing that we are human and we all struggle with the emotional and logical aspects of the difficult choices we must make for our family members.

You made a valid point ..communication is the key element...if we all learn to communicate and have family meetings there will be far less animosity between siblings and family members. When decisions are made without any input from the family members problems and hurt feelings will arise....and sometimes it is difficult to move past those feelings.

We all want is the best care for the family member...nothing else.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and journey with us as you are an inspiration to many!

May God Bless and keep you safe in your journey!
Ann Marie:
Thank you for sharing your journey...it has been helpful in realizing that we are human and we all struggle with the emotional and logical aspects of the difficult choices we must make for our family members.

You made a valid point ..communication is the key element...if we communicate and have family meetings there will be far less animosity between siblings and family members. When decisions are made without any input from the family members problems and hurt feelings will arise....and sometimes it is difficult to move past those feelings.

Everyone wants the best possible care a family member deserves no matter where they reside..

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and journey with us as you are an inspiration to many!

May God Bless and keep you safe in your journey!