In a recent post, "How I Stopped Resenting My Siblings," I described my experience of letting go of resentment toward my siblings. A couple of readers felt that I was saying that men could not be good caregivers. Men, in fact, can be very good at caring for their aging parents, and I personally know some of those men. I never intended to slight male caregivers, and I regret that my post came off that way.
The point of my post was to share my story of taking ownership of choices I had made, letting go of harbored resentment, and making peace with myself. When my husband and I decided to build our home with an in-law apartment, I never consulted with my brothers first, or asked them how they were going to help. If I could do it all over again, I would have called a family meeting to discuss how we all could take on the task. In writing my post, I was hoping my experience could help at least a handful of other caregivers.
Caregiving is an emotionally-charged job. We come into it with diverse family histories, relationships, and experiences that can affect how and why we take on this role. My writings are invariably going to reflect my own history, but my intentions are not to judge or belittle. I only desire to offer insights and provide encouragement to other caregivers—both women and men.