Life with Two Different Husbands

5 Comments

I have been a caregiver for my husband with Alzheimer’s and Frontal Lobe Dementia for six years, although he clearly had issues many years before diagnosis.

I feel as if I am living with two men.

“Bob” the build anything, fix anything man. He worked for Montgomery Ward’s remodeling stores all over the United States. After that, he managed a hardware store.

Then I have “Al” the meek and gentle-spirited man that has developed a passion for singing, is confused about life and lives only in the present moment.

I try hard to keep my emotions and devastation in check.

How do I hold on to the memory of Bob when I see “Al” taking over? How do I deal with the sense of abandonment I feel, the loneliness, the isolation? I ask myself these questions every day.

I imagine that I am not alone in this state of “Alzheimer's madness.”

You may just have an “Al” in your world too. I did not ask for this journey, and I am sure you did not either. I invite you to take this journey with me. We are in this together, you and I—and Bob and “Al,” of course.

Sheri works fulltime as a Property Manager and caregiver for Robert, her husband of 25 years, who was diagnosed in 2008 with both Frontal Lobe Dementia and Alzheimer’s. On a journey she never thought she would find herself on, Sheri has been blogging about the way Alzheimer’s has invaded her family’s life since 2009.

Living in the Shadow of Alzheimer's

View full profile

You May Also Like

Free AgingCare Guides

Get the latest care advice and articles delivered to your inbox!

5 Comments

My husband, Michael, suffers from alcohol-related dementia -- Korsakoff's Psychosis -- which was initially thought to be the beginnings of Alzheimer's. Unfortunately, though, his alter-ego is an "evil twin," extremely difficult to live with and to love. I take a lot of walks to clear my mind and adjust my attitude ...
My MIL noticed her son turning into a grumpy old man. She turned to me and said "God only changes their faces". Now I know what she meant.
I too, live with two different men. The man I married was Chuck, the nickname his buddies in Viet Nam gave him to distinguish him from the enemy. The man I now live with is Charlie - the name his parents called him as a youngster. Chuck is gone - only Charlie, the child, remains. But we love them both don't we?