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I have Power of Attorney for my mom for 5 years now and have been taking care of all of my moms finances for all those years. My mom had a stroke last year and now lives with me and i take care of her 24/7 with absolutley no help from the other 4 sibblings. They are requesting monthly statements from me and if I don't give it to them they said they will have a Lawyer contact me. I do not charge my mom anything to live here except for her own expenses such as food, supplies, gas to get supplies, and sitters to watch her while I get her supplies. They also are requesting to send her back to her own home so they can help with her care because they are uncomfortable helping me at my own home. This is making me nuts. My mom does not want to leave my home to go back there but they just don't believe me even though she tells them that. My mom is very happy here and all of her needs are being met except I am getting burned out. I have asked them to watch her for 1 day out of the week so I can get some rest because of the fibromyalgia that I have is taking a toll on me. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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A POA is not worth the paper it’s written on, when you have evil greedy family who all they care about is what they are getting, or in our case as far as my aunt was concerned the day she found our uncle will it was all hers. She sued myself and my sister, as she thought we had spent to much of my uncles money on him.
I.e she stated we should have bought him a cheaper car, we should not have been feeding him bought food when he was in hospital. 
We should not have been paid as POA for caring for him even though our precious uncle stated as his POA we were to be paid a professional salary. Our aunt thought that £8.00 an hour was too much. Over 2 years working 7 days a week 5 to 6 hours a day. Spending to much on meals taking our precious uncle out for day trips. Our uncle also stated on his POA we could make gifts to people he was in the habit of making gifts to. 
Our precious uncle was the most generous gentleman you could ever meet, he was like prince Charles. So we carried on his traditions of giving a single gift to his family, necies nephews who all were very very close to him, in fact when we did this we thought our precious uncle would have been so proud of us as he loved and adored his family. 

Everything we spent and did was disgusted with Uncle Peter before we did anything we also discussed everything with our mother our uncle other sister. 

We accounted for every penny spent, there were no wholes found in any accounting and we had several hundred receipts. After our precious uncle passed our aunt in America, who had only visited him once over the 2 years of him having his stroke, she changed the locks on his home for the second time, less than 36 hours after his death in his own home. She, cancelled his funeral that she had booked as she gave me instruction to deal with the funeral home. She cancelled the wake at the Royal Botanical Gardens. Our mother had to buy a suite to dress our uncle for his funeral and pay for the wake, I paid for the order of service and flowers.

Our precious uncle was a wealth gentalman, our aunt sued myself and my sister, for 18 months after his death she has made myself and my sister extremely unwell, depression anxiety, we have both been on medication, and been unable to work due to all this I lost 3 stone in weight and also my home in Scotland as I had to sell it to pay the legal costs in fighting her and then having to settle with paying her £49.0000. We had no other option other than to settle with her as we could not afford the court costs, it had already cost myself and my sister £28,000 in legal cost fighting our innocents.
Had she won by even a £1.00 we would have been libel for all her legal costs also which were around so our lawyer told us about £120k 

My sister would have lost her home but I have managed to pay her legal cost for her and the settlement we had to both pay. 

Myself and my sister can hold our heads high we loved and adored our precious uncle and would never take a penny that we New he would not agree with. We have lost nearly 4 years of our lives being POA, I’ve lost my home, and my life savings all beacause of greed. Our precious uncle left his wicked sister over £600,000 and his other sister who lived across the road from him for 37 years nothing, but that doesn’t matter we had his love, and shard his whole life with him, his sister in America and her daughters never ever had this. I love you my darling Uncle Peter and miss you ever day. 
We will meet soon. Love Louise 
Our lawyer and advocate,  said that we should speak to the news papers about what has happened to us as she was disgusted and said in writing it was the most curle action she has ever seen taken against family. 

Our aunt did far more that I can remember, she took and intinary  and photographs of everything in our uncle home when uncle first went into hospital, uncle had antiques and expensive paintings. She also changed the locks on his home when he first went into hospital, this was just after she found his will in his flat. She refused us access to his home as his POA we had to get lawyers letter sent to her she still refused us access. She opened his mail and bank statements, went to uncle bank to see how much money he had in his accounts, made an appointment with uncle lawyer to have us removed a POA. I could go on and on. May she rot in hell, our precious uncles home is now up for sale. Our aunt is 73 years old. I have to believe in KARMA. None of the family ever want to see her our her daughters ever again, she has lost her whole family here in Scotland and for what GREED!,,,
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If you read the power of attorney, you will probably find that it has some provision for making the accounting they are requesting. As power of attorney, you can use HER money to consult a lawyer about the issues being raised. Ask the lawyer if I'm correct. You must protect yourself. I would keep EVERY receipt, account statement and any record of any kind related to your actions as POA. Start immediately. These siblings sound like big trouble. Please see that lawyer right away. The people who aren't doing any of he work are the ones who show up to question every thing you do.
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You should arrange respite care for your mom so you can get a break. If you have not talked to an attorney who specializes in elder law do so immediately. Obviously your mom needs to go but they aren't cheapbut the best investment for your mom. It will put your siblings in their place. It has to be an attorney does elder law.
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NO. Have attorney back up online or the one you deal with. Whole purpose of POA is for you to control those things.
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NO. Get an attorney.
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No, your siblings cannot enforce a demand to see your mother’s financial statements. You are the POA, and unless such a provision is a condition of your position/authority under that POA. 
With that said... cooperative transparency can reduce alot of wrath and cut off suspicion that you are engaging in any kind of self dealing. 
You have fiduciary responsibility to remain independent, maintain your mother’s resources for HER BENEFIT. Preserving an estate for heirs is SECONDARY. There is nothing your mother should be reasonably denied if the expense is justifiable and desirable for her care and comfort...assuming she has the means to pay for it. I.E. if mom has a “bucket list”, then her spending some of her funds for her own enjoyment is perfectly acceptable. She has a right to enjoy the remainder of her life. 
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As POA you have a responsibility to keep financial
Information confidential. If your mom wishes to let them know the states if her finances then she can ask you for them and hand a copy to your siblings. We have my father living with me... I also have fibrosis so I know where you are coming from. We are on her bank account, and have a spindle for all receipts for anything that is paid from her account. Also I keep track of mileage and my father has no problem paying for gas whenever necessary. Putting the mileage in a mileage record book next to spindle is very helpful.
What is the real reason behind their not wanted by to give you a day of respite each week. Why are they uncomfortable in your home. I get picky about how stuff is done in my home, but never picky with my dad. If your like me in that manner perhaps just realize it and try to make them more welcome.
I seriously suggest taking a week and jotting down everything you do for mom keep tally marks for things you do several times a day. Including all cleaning up or keeping things extra sanitary for your mom. Then make a copy and hand that to them. They will see how valuable you are to get and see they don't want the job. My brother put his foot who lived only a few miles from my dad when he lived on his own... put his foot down and said he could live on his property but not in his home. I lived several hundred miles away and gladly took him in. Some people think they can care for someone or that they could be on their own with help and until they see the big picture just cannot fathom the actual work involved. I hope this helps in some small way
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my sibling has poa. it has become obvious there is a problem. 5 figures missing from a joint account of another sibling that was intended as their inheritance and no explanation for over a year. trying to get info is like pulling teeth. I am beginning to think poa is nothing but a licence to steal.
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Just because they're family doesn't mean they can't get nasty. Already threatening you with a lawyer? Time for you to lawyer up. Get an elder Care attorney, because your siblings are in their way to accusing you of elder abuse. I don't know your mother's mental capacity, but you say that she is choosing to live with you and not at home. If applicable, a Declaration of Capacity could be a big help in protecting your mom's preference and your legal right to help her.
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We followed all the OPG guidelines, and POA principals. I pray that when this goes to court the judge will see it our way. As I said we spent over 2 years visiting our uncle every single day travelling miles, doing his daily washing 3 load at a time when he was in hospital. Making sure he had flowers in hospital and at home every day, our uncle was 82 he was showered ever single day was always immaculate,  was taken out in his car for lunch dinner, to the theater, swimming runs in the car up to St. Andrews. The carers we re not allowed to lift him on his own when he slipped so they had to call us to come, during the night etc we were on 24 hour call 7 day a week for over the 2 years. They were not allowed to cut uncles finger or toe nails. I could go on and on, what a sad sad world this is when all some people care about is money. I thank you for your kind words, but we are still trying to find the money to pay our lawyers bill to fight her which in now in excess of 10k. I have already had to sell my home in edinburgh and am now staying with my mum, I’m a 58 year old woman, who has never ever taken anything from anyone in my life, never been in trouble and have 3 wonderful grown sons. I’m so distraught that this is allowed to happen to people who only did there best for that uncle they adored. Mum still hasent spread her brother ashes yet, my mum is now 83 years old and adored her brother, Mum and uncle lived directly across the road from each other uncle came to Mum for cup of t and sandwich every week for 40 years. All I can say is that I loved you uncle Peter, I’m sorry we spent your money on your Care by giving you the best for your last years on this earth.
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I'm sorry this has turned out this way for you and your family, Louise.

You understand her reasoning, do you? It's a case of "how the rich stay rich." She thinks she is preventing you and your sister from "taking advantage" of your vulnerable uncle. She's not seeing the hours of care, or considering his sincere wish (thank God he put it in writing) for neither of you to be financially disadvantaged by your support for him. It must sink your heart and turn your stomach, but I hope that understanding her perspective will lessen the sense of spite.

Have you thought of asking the OPG in Scotland if they have any advice for you? Essentially you and family are being accused of financial abuse: if you've followed OPG guidelines and principles that might be quite a good way of structuring your defence.
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Never ever become POA, especially if you are not the executor of the will. I’m in the middle of a 16 month court case, for bing my precious uncles POA for spending his money on him and his care.

The executor has said we spent to much money on food, and paid my sister to much for visiting home every day taking his shopping in every day, making sure the house was being run properly buy the live on carers. Spending 5 hours 7 days a week traveling back and forth. Because we bought my uncle a car so we could POA, my uncle stated on t(e POA we could buy sell, make gifts give loans with no restrictions what so ever. He left everything to his sister in America who only visited him, when he first became unwell and the 2 months before he passed. Our Uncle was the most kind loving uncle you could ever wish for, sadly he never had any family of his own and never married, but he was a father to me. Myself and my sister are devistated that our aunt is doing this to us.

When our uncle first had his stroke, she came over from America, I kindly gave her the keys to our uncle flat for her to stay in, she them proceeded to change the locks on his home, and would not allow myself and my sister access to his home as his POA. She eventually left our uncle flat, not befor opening every letter and bank statment he had, making an intinery of all his posessions, and finding his will. She booked our uncle funeral along with myself, then proceed to cancel it unbeknow to me and the rest of the family in Scotland. It wasn’t until we had actually got our uncle body taken to the funeral h9me that we found out she had cancelled his funeral. She then cancelled his wake 2 days before the funeral, our mother had to pay for that. You have no idea what this has done t9 myself and my sister. Our precious Uncle would be total disgusted by his sisters actions. It’s nothing but pure greed. We cared for our uncle for just over 2 years, and now this has been going on for 15 months. We do not understand why our uncle left everything to our ant and sadly we will never know.

We always knew we were no going to inherit anything we cared for him out of love, but it seem our ant wanted it all done for nothing, and we were to wait on her giving us back all our out of pocket expenses after our uncle passed. Which we knew would never ever happen. As I say our precious uncle my mother brother loved his whole family here in Scotland. But as far as my aunt was concrned the day she found his will, everything he owned belonged to her.

Our aunt is a very wealth person, we have no money and are just hard working people, our lawyer told us the only reason she is doing this is beacause she has the money to do this to us.

She was left a house worth 300k painting worth 100k sold the car that we bought for our uncle and 200k in the bank. But that wasn’t enough.
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As the POA for your mother, you are not obligated to dhow your siblings any bank statements of your mother. It appears that siblings have a financial motive for your mother's money. Remember to take care of yourself. You may want to obtain respite services from a community-based social service agency to watch your mother why you take a break and/or go to the SPA.
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Hey Rose, I haven’t read everyone’s reply so excuse me if someone already said this... just send your sibs a copy of the POA. Include a little note asking them to point out where it states they are entitled to any financial information as you must have missed it. Easy Peasy!
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That really gets me !you are awesome!!Your siblings do not have a clue, how hard it is to care for another person, 24 ...7 ,day after,day after  day,.... I would be worried about WHAT they would do ,with her Healthcare, and finances .Let them do your job for a few weeks ...your siblings will have a new found respect for you!!! 5 years WOW now they want to see where money is ,well show them how much money you and only you Have Saved your mom .nursing homes,in home health care are so extremely expensive ! Maybe the siblings will bow down to you ,because GOD KNOWS YOU DESERVE ALL THE CREDIT! Bottom line is if your mom is safe and happy  you are a ANGEL! 
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I am having the same concerns about leaving my spouse for a respite. He is anxious and confused when I am away for even a long day. I can imagine what shape he would be in if I visited my family on the east coast for a week or more. I don't know if our LTC Insurance only covers respite in a nursing home facility. Going to have to check on that. If I have some type of care giving team in it will have to be 24-7. In the meantime, I take my breaks when I can. Mainly, I think it is my fear of leaving, but what if something happens??? Anyone else anguished over trying to take a 'vacation'...did you go, how did it turn out and how did you prepare your loved one for your absence?
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Respite concerns me. I'm offered this as a caregiver however when I checked it is for a minimum two weeks and it would be in a nursing home. Two weeks is sufficient time for non-caring staff to be the culprits behind bed sores, a decline in mentality, etc. so I suck it up, own up to the choice I made to be a caregiver, take a nap, whatever and get through my day.
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To me, when relatives ask questions about financials and do not participate in the daily care, their agenda is selfish and greed. Only caregivers are aware of the day to day. If being "uncomfortable" to come to your home to see their mother is a viable excuse to "them" write them off. I got a magic jack so my mother has her own telephone number. I seem to be the only one calling to make sure it's working. Where is the excuse there? I bought a Tend security camera from Walmart. It has dual audio. I can watch my mother in real time on my cell when doing errands, in the middle of the night, etc. Best of Luck.
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Tell them you will have your mother's attorney call them. The attorney will set them straight in 5 minutes. You are POA. Are you executor of her estate? You all need to sit down and quietly work this out.
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I look back and realize how lucky my sisters and I were. I retired early, paid $7,000 to move to be near my mom. Although one sibling mainly wrote out checks for our mom, we all had POA and all had debit cards for her bank account so we could each pay for her coffee or buy clothes for her when we took her shopping or ordered clothes from catalogs. We ALL received monthly bank statements from mom's bank. When I had a once-in-a-lifetime chance to take a trip to country of our g g g grandparents, my sisters insisted it come from my mother's money. Our mom was very generous when in charge of her own money so we all knew that the trip would have been exactly what she would have wanted. The hard part was actually accepting the gift because we were always wondering if there would be enough money for future unknown expenses (there was). After 12 years, mom "left" and I moved back ($12,000 moving expenses this time) to be near my own children.
Looking back, I see our mom gave her children yet another HUGE gift as our inheritance. She had raised us all to be meticulously honest and bend-over-backwards fair, which meant we had total trust in each other. The way she raised her kids when they were young had direct consequences for her in her old age.
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I agree, you cannot loose your POA. And, ignore the people adding to your stress. If mom is happy, just block their calls until they understand you are in charge of her care. I KNOW you are allowed payment. I had a contract with my partner, but never acted on it. His kids were a work of art. They were as nasty as they could be. I came home from the funeral shaking to the point my doctor wanted to give me anti-depressants.

They are only interested in what they can GET. Nothing more. This is so common. My sister and broker were horrible when my mom passed. They went over to her house and took all her valuables while I sat with her in Hospice for the last few hours. It is horrible what this does to families. I have learned and got rid of everything before I go. There will be nothing to fight over.
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Document everything you do--especially your time and her money you spend.
Usually, if you were also recognized by a judge as the legal POA, you do an annual accounting to the judge. That is the only legally binding ledger you can be held accountable for; however, your siblings can hire a lawyer and make your life miserable. Be open. Document. Speak with your lawyer.
Darby
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I had the same problem, when I sought legal advice and I filed to have my mom interdicted, it cost me about $1000.00 in court fees, my friend is an attorney and did my case pro-bono. Once my mom was interdicted, the judge order the POA to be the Curator and me the UnderCurator. The Curator have to report to my sibs a full report of my mom's assets, expenses, health, caretakers scheduled, basically everything about my mom. As UnderCurator, the Curator cannot make any decision about my mom without consulting me first. My entire family was upset with me, but it's the best move I've made concerning my mom and getting information about her.
Good luck!!
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As long as your siblings have good intentions, they are right to want to make sure you're not abusing your powers. Sadly though, so many times people abuse their powers whether it be POA, DPOA and even guardianship. In fact, I recently saw a very sad story on Facebook of a female public guardian who would take custody of elders and have their bodies cremated when they died and store the ashes in a storage container in a storage unit, some of them for even years. I'm not sure the elders ever had their own funeral arrangements already in place or if she overturned them and did her own thing, but I can tell you she's been caught and that situation is being dealt with as human ashes are returned to the families.

Yes, your siblings are right to be concerned, good for them! Too many times we here sad stories where some poor soul who had some kind of authority over someone else's matters became a monster, especially when they were given power to make financial decisions for someone else. Money is just too tempting to give that kind of power to anyone, and I think you should work with your siblings if you have nothing to hide. If you have nothing to hide, then be transparent and give an account of where her money is going and show proof through receipts. If you have nothing to hide, prove it and put them at ease so they're not suspicious of you, especially in this day where so many vulnerable people are taking advantage of behind the families' back's. Putting myself in the shoes of your siblings, I would be very suspicious of anyone who acted like they were trying to hide something, I don't blame them! As long as their hearts are in the right place, they should be very concerned and yes, they deserve very honest answers and the proof to back it up
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Get an attorney to file a claim against the estate. POA's must not change final documents, especially when they are the benefactor. It is a conflict of interest.
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What if the power of attorney (such as my sister) manipulates original beneficiaries and changes over all cash accounts to annuities with new beneficiaries (herself and her children) thereby leaving you with virtually nothing. And, doing this when your mother can barely talk or walk - taking her to banks to close out the accounts and then setting up paperwork with the annuity representative and you don't find out until a few days after your father dies. Previous to that your mother died five months before. How would any of you feel about that? See the other side, please.
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I would provide them with semiannual statements.
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Most POAS /guardians must make annual financial reporting to the court and SSA, as the Rep Payee. Give them a copy of that.
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Louise if it's not too late contact the OPG (Scotland). They may be able to advise you about what to do if you're accused of abusing power of attorney. Get back-up from any healthcare or social care organisations you had contact with, too - they were there to observe what you and your sister were doing for your uncle.

Your aunt sounds like a piece of work. It's very sad when people get so fixated on the money they forget all about everything else - including what the money needs to have been spent on. She probably truly believes that she's "defending" your uncle's interests and wishes; there'd be no talking to her. Sigh.
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I will update this thread when myself and my sister find out what's going to happen to us.

We have supplied 90% of the receipts. But what I would say to anyone is never ever ever take on the role of a POA unless your an exector and benifishery of the will. We the family will never ever understand why Uncle Peter left everything to his sister in America, our mother and the rest of the family have our own thoughts on this but I will leave it there.

Our mother was in the will to be left everything but only if our aunt died.
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