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I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)

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🥰 I’m sexy
and I mow it.
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Lawn & Order
Special Mowing Unit
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My neighbour asked me if he could use my lawn mower.

I said, “Sure, just don’t take it out of the yard.”
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🙂 My favorite mythical creatures are decent men.
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🥰 Your clothes would look nice on my bedroom floor.
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Doctor: All right, this is the part where I’m just going to google it and we both pretend I’m not.
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Doctor asks elderly patient questions, to check for dementia.

Dr: What day is today?

Mom: Thursday.

Dr: What year is this?

Mom: 2024.

Dr: Who is the president?

Mom: (long pause) Ohhh… uh, some ***hole.

Dr: Close enough.
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🙂 If it first you don't succeed, order some pizza.
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I'm not impatient, I just patient really fast.
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Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it's empty.
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I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.
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Good one!! 😄
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My wife just said, “You weren’t even listening, were you?” That’s a funny way to start a conversation.
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Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time-consuming.
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Do you know the verse of the Bible where it tells you how to turn water into wine? Asking for a friend.
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Sausage puns are the wurst.
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Would you believe that my neighbor came ringing my doorbell at 2:00 this morning? Luckily for him, I was still up playing bagpipes.
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I’m not the kind of guy to distance himself from anything… Far from it.
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You have no reason to fear zombies, do you?
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I am swift as a gazelle. An old one. With arthritis. Run over by a Land Rover. 8 days ago.
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A jellyfish has existed as a species for 500 million years, surviving just fine without a brain. Also politics.
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Pets (noun)

The only members of your family you actually like.
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Girls (noun)

They don’t actually shop, they just walk around touching clothes, saying, “This is cute.”
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Acne (noun)

Usually appears on your face when you have an important date.
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Middle of the night (noun)

The only time I have the urge to get my life together.
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Stalking (verb)

When two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
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White shirt (noun)

There’s a 95% chance that food will drop on it.
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Zombies (noun)

The only men who will love you for your brain.
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Fat (noun)

A substance in your body that will love you and stay with you forever. Even though you don’t love it back.
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Death (noun)

Life’s way of firing you.
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