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Hi everyone.. been awhile since I posted, but I do read this blog faithfully every day. Just a refresher. Last year was the year from hell!! Had to get an elder attorney to prove my case as mom's primary caregiver in order to keep the house. Well thank God everything worked out well and in my favor!! So I get to keep the house, Medicaid cannot touch it, and mom was approved for managed long term care Medicaid. So what could be the problem??? Well my parents NEVER had any money and I really resented it. So I took care of dad when he was sick, no LTC facilities incolved, but he and mom hated each other by then!! He passed 23 yrs ago. Now mom spent my money to fix the whole house up, to the tune of 65 grand so losing it was not an option. Thank God I didn’t but paid an elder care attorney 13 grand, again my money. So FF a year. Mom in LTC facility and adjusted quite well. I’m a nurse and work 2 jobs. Alot of the times 12 day stretches. My family is a disaster and I’m the only one that visits her. No one else and she never had friends. I manage to visit twice a week. Plus I still need to have my own life. Mom told me a PT passed a comment that why do I never take her out for a day or two. Really??!!! Why do people have to pass comments when they don’t know a situation??? Thanks for listening. I needed to vent I guess.

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Congrats on keeping the house! You are extremely busy and doing all that you can. Maybe your mom misunderstood what the PT said. My mom is nearly deaf in one ear and she is deaf in the other one. She does have one hearing aid but doesn’t always wear it. Is your mom hard of hearing and perhaps didn’t hear it correctly? Hugs!

If the PT did say it, she was out of line and I would confront either her or her supervisor about it.
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Darla3 May 2019
Thank you so much need help. Yes my mom is very hard of hearing. Also as the other posters said, this might have been all her, but not sure. I will investigate further though bc if this comment was passed I need to speak to someone. Thank you!!
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I would report the PT. Maybe not by name but make the Administrator aware that the comment was not helpful. That its not fair to put these kind of thoughts in residents heads. You are doing your best.

You know whats weird about having to go thrubwhat u did to keep Moms house, is that I just got papers to fill out for a lean to be put on Moms house. I read that if a family member was a resident of the Medicaid recipients house and both claimed it as their main residence, a lean would be put on the house but not be recouped until the family member died or sold the house. So if thats true, why did you have to fight that hard.

Glad it all worked out.
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Darla3 May 2019
Hi JoAnn 29 I believe the difference is that the house is free and clear mine. There is no lien to be placed on or after moms or my own passing. I’m free at anytime to sell it and move to f I want to.
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That's great news about your victory. I know you must be so relieved. Tough to spend that money, but, so good you won.

As far as the comment from your mother....I'd perhaps wonder if she just said that and that no one else said it. That would be my suspicion. I wouldn't think that a staff member or therapist suggested that a patient with all her issues be taken out of the facility for the weekend. If they did make such a comment, I would wonder about their mind. Who would be so foolish? It might have been something that your mother may want, and not realize the enormity of a task like that. I would dismiss it. You are fine and don't need any undue pressure.
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Darla3 May 2019
Thank you so much sunnygirl. Didn’t even think of it from that standpoint. Just made me feel bad on top of everything I do for her and have been for the past 9yrs. Thank you!
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Sounds like you are doing a great job and you need a ((((((((hug)))))). Mom may have been passing on a message from a PT or could she have made it up? When mother was in a facility I made sure to let the staff know the situation so they were aware why I didn't do this or that, or why I did. Some seniors feel you should be doing more for them and pass this on to the staff who have no idea what you already have been and are doing. I know it doesn't help especially when you have been through a hard time.
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Darla3 May 2019
Thank you golden 23. As sunnygirl responded as well this could have also been fabricated by her. Sometimes we just need a little reassurance I guess that all of us on this forum really do try our best. Thanks again.
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