What product do you recommend to protect a mattress from incontinence that offers good protection, but is still comfortable?

Get a plastic bed cover - there are many that cover top of mattress or entire mattress. Over that put washable mattress topper. I made incontinence pads by cutting a king size waterproof mattress topper that had a generous amount of padding into 4ths for my husband when he had prostate surgery. Worked fantastic and easy to clean in washer.

I use a quilted matress pad, then over that I use this waterproof cover linked below and reusable chux pad.
If the cover gets wet, just wash it and chux's.
Works like a charm.
SafeRest 100% Waterproof Mattress Protector https://a.co/d/1WZXlVS

There is a website that has products made specifically for your concern. I was searching for same thing for my 93 yr old father. They have mats. I wanted the extra large version so it would cover a larger area and not get in the way of his feet. I’m at a medical appointment right now, but I’ll get you the link. Amazon has one by Sequoia Health 36” by 60”. Search for incontinence bed protection extra large, size of mattress. They make soft durable and washable mats.

I was fortunately well prepared for my husband's incontinence when he came home from the hospital, after many many years of dealing with senior cats peeing, barfing and even pooping on the bed. I developed this layering system, which saved my sanity when I'd come home from work and find the bed all messed up.

1. Encase the mattress in a good, padded, non-crinkly, totally waterproof cover (like SureGuard Mattress Encasement - 100% Waterproof, Bed Bug Proof, Hypoallergenic - Premium Zippered Six-Sided Cover). This is the final barrier to your mattress, so don't skimp.

2. Put on a regular fitted sheet.

3. Cover the fitted sheet with a Mambe Non-Slip Pet Blanket or Furniture Cover. The size should be large enough to drape over the sides a bit. The blanket adds extra cushioning and provides an important second waterproof barrier. They may be a little costly, but unlike typical incontinence pads which lose their waterproofness after only about five washes, the Mambe blankets retain 100% waterproofness through many washes (I have some that've probably been washed 50-80 times and still going strong). You may want to use elastic bed sheet straps with the blanket if the person is restless at night. The blanket is super waterproof but unfortunately not very absorbent, which is why there's a fourth layer.

4. Lay a large cotton throw or towel (or even ShamWow) over the Mambe blanket. The material should be highly absorbent, enough to hold a night's worth of pee, and sized big enough to cover where the person's bottom will be laying or moving around on.

This setup may seem complicated, but it's really an easy task to pick up the Mambe blanket and cotton throw layers (and even the fitted sheet layer if necessary), throw everything in the washer and dryer in the morning, put it all back on the bed and be ready that same night. I recommend getting a second Mambe blanket and cotton throw, in case you don't want to chance leaving the bed unmade, or if you just run out of time to do laundry. With cats, I didn't dare leave the bed unmade, so I had to have multiple spares of everything.

Place the mattress in a protective zip up cover, then put a washable cushy mattress pad over it, then your sheets.
:)

I purchased a pack of two waterproof mattress pads from Amazon. They are called Cool Shields and are excellent. I also bought a padded mattress cover that I placed over the original waterproof cover that is part of the mattress. II did this to make the hospital bed mattress more comfortable. I placed a large disposable waterproof underpad on top of the mattress cover, then the sheet and then the Cool Shield waterproof pad from Amazon, The Cool Shield pad was quite large and fit from side to side of the bed. The sheet stayed dry and the mattress pad stayed dry.

Here's another tip. To keep the padded mattress cover from slipping around on the plastic mattress, I bought a roll of rubberized slip proof liner (that is used to keep small floor mats from slipping) and placed it under the mattress cover. It kept everything from slipping and sliding around.

I found a large pad that is washable but still protects mattress. It is not noticeable under sheet and makes no noise.

I found some pads that are washable but still protect mattress. You never know they are under sheet and make no noise.

OldCaregiver121: Such a product exists on Amazon.

My father was incontinent when I became his caregiver. I kept him in pull on diapers because he didn't always know when he had to go. Plus the diapers were convenient for when we had to leave the house.
At night I used a vinyl mattress cover to protect the mattress and used a large mattress pad between him and the fitted sheet. This worked well in protecting the mattress, but I had to wash his sheets every day because he had accidents or removed the diaper during the night.
Dad had dementia, so you may not have success doing what I was able to do. Also, you may already know this, but someone I had consulted about Dad's care told me that adding a cup of white vinegar to the wash water would prevent the urine smell in the sheets. I wish you success.

I got my Mom washable incontinence bed pads. Because my Mom liked to get off the bottom as well as the side of the bed and because she moved all night, the bed pad had to go from "top" to edge of bed (size was 80 x 36) I got them from Amazon.

There was no plastic noise to them. We put them between the mattress pad and the fitted sheet.

Worked great...and when folded, also worked for protection while she was in the wheel chair.

P.S. I would start now so that he will get used to the "little extra cushion" under him.

For my Mom we use three waterproof mattress covers and three fitted sheets. Under each mattress pad have a disposable 17x24” pad strategically place. If we need to change the bedding can simply peel off one set and remake the bed quickly.

Go on Google or Amazon for no noise waterproof mattress pads. They work wonders and I doubt your husband will even know it on there. I got two, so one could be in the wash, while other is on bed.

I bought my dad a no noise waterproof mattress protector -so it’s not made of loud paper so you can’t hear it when you move- technology getting quite clever on that -found on amazon. I then purchased a mattress protector sheet/pad
dl that’s a waterproof strip of material which has flaps to tuck in and goes across middle of bed- washable
got a couple so when ones in the wash I have another
so I have two lots of protection plus his incontinence underwear. At night he wears the disposable incontinence highest strength briefs under his incontinence boxer shorts
and that works for him
i got a nappy bin but I don’t call it that and he’s quite pleased with it and in a routine now to put them into the no of our bin himself
in fact he goes one further by putting them into those nappy bin bags then into his nappy bin - no odours and all clean
oh
i did also invest in duvet cover protector sheets so waterproof and wipeable - you put a duvet cover over them
in the beginning I had him lay on a thin summer duvet - in the mattress protector -
in a duvet cover
sounds a lot and prob is !
but I’m left with a clean house and now it’s routine
and I just find I’m washing far less
wipe down jobs with a cloth and spray disinfectant
hardly any work at all now
to the wet bet nonsense I was dealing with and smells!
good luck

With my wife, I started with the usual protective mattress pad underneath the sheet, with a large towel on top of it, which made it somewhat more easily changed, but was less noticeable. But the fitted sheet would still have to be laundered at times. I then changed to placing the mattress pad and covering towel directly on the fitted sheet; if changing was needed then, it only involved the towel and pad. Discussion with our partners is also important, and necessary; they need to understand the health reasons for doing what we do, and need to come to acknowledge the impacts on their own health, and the demands that their care places on us caregivers. These can be delicate issues to discuss, but when approached matter-of-factly, compassionately, and not "accusingly," it will benefit all.

I found some great products on Wayfair for my mother.

I found a great one on Amazon for around forty dollars, very soft and comfortable, not plastic, and works wonderfully and washes great. Get two, you will want a backup. And do not be tempted to get a cheaper one, you will regret that wasted purchase. I learned the hard way.

Walmart carries a waterproof protector. Remove the sheet and just wipe the protector. I found out about them when I moved mom to MC and was a required item. Next to protect sheets you can get washable or disposable pads. Of course, you will put them over the bottom sheet so he will see. Just encourage to him that they will make your care easier. Otherwise he goes into care

Check Amazon. I found some excellent mattress protectors made from bamboo. They stand up to repeated washing and are as comfortable as the mattress alone. The washable pads between the sheet and the mattress cover are great as well.

Gone are the days when waterproof meant crinkly plastic, when I bought my last mattress I was told I could return it as long as I bought the waterproof cover they also sold - it has a soft fabric top and is still 100% waterproof many years later (as with all of these items just don't use any bleach as that can destroy the lining).
You will also want to use a washable quilted bed pad, I suggest getting the larger ones as they are not only more effective but will also be less noticeable.
https://www.agingcare.com/products/quilted-bed-pad-204739.htm