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My Mom has been in skilled nursing for 2 years and we have had several bad experiences. The last one was the facility told her it was just her anxiety and to "get up and get dressed" even though she said she didn't feel good. Long story short, they ended up calling an ambulance and told me she was having stroke like symptoms. Turned out she had pnemonia in both lungs and she was in heart failure.
Mom wants out and to move in with me and my husband. We need to put in a first floor shower in the bathroom, get a hospital bed, have a nurse come to the house etc. Help! Please don't ask me to ask the social worker at the facility to help me. When I asked her to help me fill out paperwork to apply for veterans benefits for my Mom (Dad was a vet) she told me "she will prob only get 90 dollars a month and that's hardly worth doing all the paperwork."

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Yes, explore Medicaid for in home. Each state is different in what they offer. Also explore VA benefits. Aids and Attendance will pay for care in the home if Mom qualifies. She will receive money but you may need to hire the aides. Call your County VA office and make an appt with a representative. He can help you fill out the paperwork. Dad would have had to serve during wartime. Take all his military records with you.
I would not have had a Social Worker file for you. You need someone who is well versed in VA benefits. Mom maybe entitled to other benefits.

To be in LTC Mom must have hit the criteria. Why is she there. And she can dress herself? I would transfer her out of this facility. When someone says they don't feel well a Nurse should check it out. I would think they know what pneumonia sounds like. I may even put a complaint into the state. Call the Ombudsman.
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I'd be very careful giving up skilled nursing care if she's already qualified. But, if you want to explore what help you could get in your home.....you might contact your county department of social services. Resources vary by state. In my state, AL and MC are covered for some people, depending on income and need, according to a doctor. And, here, the department of social services takes applications for ALL benefits, both county, state and federal.

If she already needs skilled nursing care, I'm wondering how that would work in the home without continuous help.

If she is on Medicaid, she should have a case manager. She might be able to provide information.
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Medicaid waiver will pay a minimal amount home health care. It’s about 25 hours a week in my state and only $10 - 12.00 per hour.
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If she is on Medicaid already the social worker was correct. It is not worth all the paperwork because the most she would get is 90.00, you can't double dip.

Have you talked to her Medicaid social worker? My understanding is that LTC Medicaid is different than the Medicaid coverage for in home services, so talking to Medicaid would be my 1st step.

Medicare is health insurance, so they would only pay for medical care, my dad and stepdad qualified for in home doctors visits, labs and such. That would be something that her PCP can help you with.

Have you and your husband really talked about what her moving in will look like? Because it is a life changer that impacts every member of the household and every decision from here on out. I am not trying to sway your decision, I just don't want you to have a knee jerk reaction that hasn't been well thought out.

You talk about home modifications, that you will have to pay for but, that is truly the simple part of having her move in. Are you all prepared to never have any privacy? Not be able to decide on Thursday to leave Friday for a long weekend, heck maybe not even be able to go out to dinner alone, forget a long weekend. Just to name some big things, that doesn't even touch on the thousands of little things.

Most of all for you, are you prepared to be treated like a child in your own home because your mom is your mom and you are the child?

Please think long and hard about this before you pull the trigger. Move her to a different facility in the meantime and don't buy into her WANTS, she was in a nursing home because of her NEEDS and those must be what motivates any action.

Best of luck finding a good solution for everyone involved.
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