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My sister is 95 and lives at home. She is paying four sitters to provide 24/7 care which she desparately needs. Her decision-making is getting worse and I have taken over finances. Her care is much more than she can afford but she is adamant about remaining at home. With expenses and home care she will run out of money in about two months. What do I do -- continue to write checks until her money runs out? Or what? She does not want to go to a facility. I have POA but she is not totally incapable of making decisions. What can I do?

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Who is it that says “..she is not totally incapable of making decisions”?

If it is you or she who says that, it’s absolutely time for a second, and professional opinion.

ALMOST EVERYONE says they are “…adamant about remaining at home” and they don’t “….want to go to a facility”, but if they are unable to receive life supporting care at home, your options as POA are to make the good decisions on their behalf that they can no longer make.

You also have a fiduciary responsibility as her POA to manage her finances wisely.

She appears to have more resources than you had originally stated. You may have to liquidate some of her holdings to pay for her care.
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Please contact a Medicaid specialist to answer your questions. Do not move in with her. You already know that her care requires more than just one person to fulfill her needs.

Best wishes to you and your sister.
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You should begin getting her qualified to medicaid at once, as it will take time. By the time she gets there she will have spent down well enough that she will qualify. If she is totally incapable of making decisions your POA will have to be completely activated as according to the stipulations of the POA document itself and you can get her qualified for continuing care. This will almost certain be in facility placement, sadly. As in most places medicaid doesn't cover services in home.

As each state had its own unique services and qualifications under the laws of the state (medicaid is a combined federal and state program) do find out what services she can get in your own state. Some States are very much more generous than others. A few states allow the applicant to keep more than 100,000 in their own reserves and still qualify--at least my own California does by its new law. So you need to check on your own state.

And good luck.
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ltinms Apr 2023
If she is not totally incapable of making decisions can I put her in a facility against her wishes? And, if she has a home and pension and SS will she qualify for medicaid?
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