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My ex husband is 85 and we have been divorced for years. He has no one else in this area to help him. He has always had a suspicious nature but it has gradually been getting worse. He is hard of hearing and about six months ago began having tinnitus but he said it was the neighbor pounding on his wall. I finally got him to an ENT doctor who removed some ear wax and recommended a hearing aid which he finally agreed to get but hasn’t done it. The delusions gradually increased until he has an elaborate scenario as to who is doing this and they are using radiation and special gas etc to target him. He stayed with me for a few weeks but since we only live a short distance apart they could get him there too. Now it has gotten to the point that he doesn’t stay in his house except for a short time. He drives around and sleeps in his car in random parking lots not too near his house so they can’t get to him. He’s having chest pain and headaches and dizziness but he refuses to go to his cardiologist because he can’t help unless he tells him the whole story and then they’ll think he’s crazy! He has 3 stents in his heart and is on plavix aspirin and two blood pressure meds all of which he has been on for a long time. Now he wants me to find him a body/security guard to patrol around him 24/7! We have two daughters one of whom lives on the other coast and the one who lives about 40 miles away has her own family. Neither one are close to him as he was not the greatest father. I don’t know what to do anymore. I usually just listen and encourage him to see the doctor but I am about at the point of telling him that all this stuff he says is impossible and letting him get furious. I’m no longer physically afraid of him but I don’t know what will happen if he feels I’ve abandoned him.

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xstitcher, even if he had been a great dad I think he needs more help than your family can provide. I would definitely call APS to report him as a Vulnerable Adult (that's what they call it in my state). This gets him on their radar and will allow them to eventually acquire guardianship of him so that they can legally direct and manage his care. This way he will get housing in a facility, receive the medical care he needs, and be with other people. Also, he really should not be allowed to drive around in his mental condition. You can send an anonymous letter to his state's DMV describing his behaviors and cognitive condition and make the case why he should be called in for a retest. He'll get a letter from them and will think it's just time for the test. If he even gets himself to the DMV (and please do not drive him there) he probably won't pass. Otherwise his license will just expire so the police can legitimately stop him. BUT in the meantime if you see him driving you should call 911 and report him. He is a danger on the road. Or better yet, if you or his neighbor is willing to discretely disable his car, this is the best way to keep him and the neighborhood safe. So, remove the car battery, flatten the tires, take out the spark plugs, take his keys, anything...and don't worry if this feeds into his delusions. He's having them no matter what. You're a kind person to keep helping him and for some problems there are just no happy-ending solutions. Calling APS is most likely the best course of action.
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Has he been tested for a Urinary Tract Infection? Hallucinations and delusions are a common symptom in older adults.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/urinary-tract-infection-symptoms-151547.htm
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X, welcome!
Your ex is not going to get any help until you back away.

Call Adult Protective Services and tell them this story and where he might be found.

The man is in dire need of psychiatric care.
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