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I think there is no way to get a demented person to "deal with" much of anything. Their minds don't work in a normal way. They will "deal with it" in the way their own mind works, and that is the guide that you will have to take, as there really isn't a choice and this isn't something that can be fixed.
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I guess it depends on a few things. How advanced is the dementia? Does he "know" his wife is dying? Can he understand this? Where does he live? Home with her still?
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