Stuck as a live-in caregiver.

Without knowing the full story, it sounds like a good deal was made during the height of Covid that suited you both: care for accomodation.

Since the deal no longer works for you, time to move on.

Find new accomodation, let him know the date you are leaving. Advice he will need to make other care arrangements. Help him call his local Area of Aging if you wish to help start the process.

The lost wages are broken promises. Hard to prove without a work contract. Avoid bitterness, just move on.

One option that may only work in some circumstances, and involves a bit of work. Tell your ex and the ‘grown children’ that you are going to lodge a claim in the Small Claims Court. You are also going to all the local media to give them this as an example of something that happens far to often when families get together to get ‘free care’ by exploiting someone who is too trusting.

To avoid it being blatant blackmail, you probably need to be ready to lodge the claim and you need to check out the local media. In other words, be ready to do it for real, out of genuine indignation about what’s happened to you (and to too many others). It’s a good ‘human interest’ story. You don't say 'unless you pay up I am going to...'. You say 'I am going to' and wait for them to suggest a pay up.

If it goes to Court, you won’t win. But there are other wins besides court. They may choose to settle.

You could get a job.

If you have been paid under the table, I would not take him to court. You would be going in with "unclean" hands as Judge Judy calls them. 😊 What that means is as a live-in the IRS considers you an employee. This man and his family should be paying u a wage, making payroll deductions, and sending those deductions to the appropriate agencies. They then give u a W2 form so u can pay taxes. I think this man feels giving you a place to stay is your pay. You are being treated like a slave. He seems to need more help than you can give. When u get that phone u need to tell the ex you are leaving and he needs to make arrangements in LTC for his Dad. You then go to Social Services and ask them if they can help you with lodging, money and voucher for food. Just tell them you were hired as live-in and promised a wage, which you received initially but it has stopped. So, you had to walk away because u were expected to do caring 24/7 for a roof over u head.

Never spend money on others you need for yourself. Never do any Caregiving job without a contract and everything on the up and up. There are laws for live-ins. You only work a certain # of hours a day with time off. Family either hires another aide to fill in or does the caring.

I am 60 years old. I was promised by my ex I would be paid and I was paid in the beginning. Doesn't that prove I was hired? I left out the part where he fell and broke his neck last year. His dysphagia from the brain surgery returned even worse than before. You know, blended meals, neck brace for six months. Once again I was paid ($200 a week) by his grown children for the extra work but then the money eventually stopped. His neck never did heal. He has fallen five times since the brain surgery. Always lands on his forehead. I can't believe how he can possibly be living. I never dreamed he would survive brain surgery, let alone breaking his neck in four places! I can't even afford a cell phone to get a job. He blocks every call that comes in on his landline due to robo-calls. Yes, I would have a hard time leaving a vulnerable adult. But believe me, I am ready to move on. I've got my van all set up to live in. I could do it if I took him to small claims. The man gets $5000 a month in retirement! As soon as I get my new free gvmnt phone activated I will be finding a job. No doubt about that.

I think you should move out and have no further contact with this gentleman who is not a part of your family. You, of course cannot get back any lost wages given it was by your own free choice you moved in, you stayed, and you paid no rental. Wish you the best.

You can’t if you have no employment or payment contract. You said you exchanged caregiving for a place to stay.

It's true that without a written contract you have nothing to present in court.

Even if you could get him to sign an employment contract, it's complicated to be his privately hired in-home caregiver as this makes him an actual employer. Then he has to comply with the employment rules for his state, and do the whole SS and Medicare withholding/contribution with every paycheck, create a W2 every year, do quarterly deposits, etc. Highly unlikely.

Therefore, I support those who say you should move out. Don't tell him -- just go and then call social services before you actually leave, or notify his children that you're leaving. Don't give any reason except you don't want to do it anymore (if you give a reason they will negotiate with you and you might cave in). Be done with him and move on. APS will take care of all his needs.

Is this for real?

Without some sort of contract, you can’t make him pay. The longer you stay, the worse things are for you. I’d suggest that before you move out, you tell his adult children that you will be going and why. You may be able to negotiate with them some back payment to keep you there while they work out what to do with him. That will get over the 'stuck' because you don't have funds to leave.

You will be wasting your money in small claims court unless you have a signed contract outlining your pay scale and hours.

I think that you should pack your bags and leave, go to a shelter and get your life back on track.

Nothing changes, if nothing changes, time for you to make a change!

Good Luck!

I think you need to get a job and move out.