As my Mom's POA, how can I stop my brother from overspending her money if she willingly gives it to him?

dose he work????????

Misfairlady69 I feel a storm brewing!!!

Pita, if your mother's care is not good and the money for it is evaporating, there is a word for what is happening to her and it is EXPLOITED. There is a word for what has happened to you and it is INTIMIDATED. You are possibly currently not doing your job as POA because of this. Not that it is at all an easy thing to do what is needed and what is right while you are being screamed at by someone who wants you to assume what they are doing right and leave them alone to do it as they see fit. If you have ggod reason to think things are not right, then enlist help from your Adult Protective Services or an eldercare attorney so you don't have to face this alone, but honestly, you should either face it or resign as POA and give up on being involved in your mother's last days...that might be a greater heartache in the long run, though less headache in the short run, but only you can decide that. There is no age limit on growing a backbone.

I just read all of the answers to my question - thank you everyone. They are all valuable, and quite a few of your answers do apply to my situation. I'll answer some of the questions you have asked me: My brother does not work, and it is my mother's - not his - home. He receives Social Security and disability income. His care of her leaves something to be desired, as he has forgotten to give her her pills a few times. She has just a few months left to live, and hospice is visiting weekly. I live a couple hours away. I do have an online bank account in her name that only I oversee, but she is adamant about having her own debit card and money. While she lived here I tried to get all of her money into the online account, but it made her upset to think of banking without a building. She is now telling my sister she wants all of it back in her bank at home, and to pay her own bills again. I may see an elder care attorney - it is frustrating because our mother thinks the sun rises and sets on our brother, and has more or less turned against me, and definitely my husband (due to my husband's telling my brother off over taking our mother's money, among other things). Whether or not I have poa, I can't control how my mom feels, and that is what makes me feel powerless. I have most of her money in the online account, but even if her other account runs dry, she has it set up so the bank will transfer money from her home equity account into her checking. Someone mentioned having my mom mentally evaluated, which would help give me the right to override her. From what I understand, a person has to be more than forgetful in order to take away their rights with their checking account - they practically have to have no cognisance whatsoever. Anyway, I will see an attorney if and when I can fit that into my time, as I also work. Thanks again to everyone who has taken the time to post. It really does help just to know I'm not alone (but so sorry to you people who have to deal with this sort of thing also!).

I'm sorry to hear that your mother has only a few months to live, but I'm glad hospice is there some. I hope you will see a lawyer.

I am also POA and I would be the one responsible to foresee that $ is used for the benefit for my mom. She always says to me if I need any money take it from her account. If I did who's going to believe me if I did and wonder if I'm exploiting her. Check withy your attorney. All I'm saying that your brother should show what he's spending from her account, because if it was you spending it you might have to. Too bad that your brother is not communicating with you in an honest way for your dear mom. She doesn't deserve this of her last days on earth. Hopefully you will find away to be at peace with each other before the day comes. I feel for you because I have been in that situation. Take care of yourself and your family and your mom the best that you can. Keep in touch! God Bless,

You call the cops. You file a complaint and you file charges and you as POA, sign the complaint for the police.

Report your brother to Adult Protective Services. Also remind him if the equity loan is not paid, there will be no home. Talk to the bank that holds the loan, tell them you are POA and bring the documents, and tell them to stop the overdraft coverage, that only the money in her account there is all she has via her ATM. Do this in writing also, give the letter to them at the same time. You, the POA have not authorized the loan.

my sister kept my mums bank card for her for a few years, it was only by mistake we found bank statements at my mums house that that revealed my sister had been taking money each month, my sister and I went to the bank cancelled the card that my sister had and got another sent to my house with a new pin no.the money she was withdrawing was from a cash machine, my mother has dementia and no longer understands what a bank card is. my sister did not have poa. therefore this was fraud. She also had an isa account closed but she was the only one who had the pin no.no-one else.. my name is now on my mothers account but this does not give me the right to withdraw money from a cash-line machine, again this would be fraud. I need to take my mum down to the bank if ever she needed money out, it is her money. if she told me to take money out for her, I would be committing fraud.having a mental impairment she no longer has to pay council tax, which I was unaware of until I checked this out. all the bills have been set up paying direct debit.i take her to the post -office each week as she is in a wheelchair, I then take her for the shopping, if she should want to buy clothes or a gift for anyone , it is her money and can do whatever she wants with it.if she is happy then I'm happy too. but access to a bank card is a definite no unless she signs for a cash withdrawal herself, do as ive done, get a letter from the doctor stating youre mum has a mental impairment, take it to the bank with your"e mum. cancel the card and ask for another pin no, that way only youre mum will be able to withdraw money by signing it herself allways go with her.let your"e brother know you mean business, never give him the pin no.should he wonder why he can no longer take money out of a atm let him go and ask the bank, he will be in big trouble hell mend him,my sister has never returned to see my mum, she doesn't let on to her nephews or nieces, we don't want anything to do with her, never.to steal money from anyone is wrong . especially youre mum.go to the bank soon before he takes anymore, he has no respect for his mother and she will end up with nothing, don't let this happen.

Need2know My mom lovingly gave away her possession, or cash to my brothers for years. When she fell sick they put her in a nursing home and put her house up for sale and emptied all her accounts with a POA. When they found out she couldn't stay in the nursing home they bounced her back and forth between them finally dumping her in a federally assisted apt. She last two plus years, and the doctor called me to come get her as she needed help. I never knew what to do living out of state so I am so glad you posted this for others to know. Legal guardianship or financial,and medical power of attorney is the way to go. It goes without saying if our parents are giving away things, then we must protect them from themselves. Lesson learned too late here.

jeannegibbs What a wonderful idea.. Personal care agreement. Thankyou!