Follow
Share

My mom lives with my sister and I in my home. I have been her primary caregiver for nine years. This last year has become more challenging day by day. My mom has become mentally, emotionally, and more recently physically abusive. She creates situations, becomes belligerent and then calls the police. The sad part is a couple of days later she won't remember any of it. She has begun walking off and I have to go find her. If you talk to her, she can carry a conversation including who our President is! The medications that she was prescribed to help her, she won't take. Recently I have seen her abuse over the counter drugs. I need help.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I would start with a thorough checkup with her Doctor.

Mixing with meds & wandering & paranoia are unsafe behaviours requiring investigation.

Has your Mother received a formal diagnosis of Dementia? (Knowing the President's name is just one question requiring a rote learned answer).

IF there is a formal diagnosis - that's the start.

Then you will want to get more knowledge of how to care for her, strategies for various behaviours, strategies to increase her safety, the right medications & a lot more help. Many people have to reassess what is possible in their home, what is possible for them & start considering alternatives at this time.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Your mother is mentally incompetent and she can't be held legally responsible for her actions. If she is dangerous to you, she does not belong in your house. She should be in a psychiatric institution.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I am so sorry for having to tell you this, but my mom KNOWINGLY punched me and hit me with a metal cane! The police, DHS and APS wouldn't do anything about it and I am disabled! Don't let APS tell you that you will be arrested for elder abandonedment if you leave because you are free to leave as long as you give them advance notice! There may be some people here who will tell you that I am not right, but call a lawyer and just ask! APS lied to me and told me I had to stay even if I gave them advance notice! Don't let them or anybody else tell you different! I know what you are going through and I am so sorry! My mom would turn around and act like a sweet little old lady to them which tells me she knew exactly what she was doing! I was good to her and she was bitter and violent to me! You don't deserve that! Please don't put up with it like I did because you don't have to!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

According to your profile, your mother suffers from dementia/Alzheimer's which is in line with the behaviors you are describing in your post. Have you looked into placement for her in a Memory Care Assisted Living home? Or in a Skilled Nursing Facility with Medicaid if she has no funds to finance private Memory Care? Knowing who our president is doesn't mean she isn't suffering from dementia! Wandering off is a very dangerous situation and means you will have to install locks high up on your doors which lead to outside, preventing her from getting out. She can easily get killed or wander off one day and you won't be able to find her. If she's abusing over the counter meds, she can overdose and die that way as well.

Are you familiar at all with dementia? It sounds like you are trying to care for an elder without any knowledge or experience with dementia, meaning your mother is in a very dangerous situation in your home! She can set the house on fire by leaving a pot on the stove and forgetting it's there. Or by mixing chemicals together to clean and asphyxiating herself.

Please get your mother to her doctor right away for a cognition exam to see where she's at mentally, and what advice he can give you as far as what to do for her next.

Read this article which is a free download:

Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller 
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580

Dementia is not linear; in that she's not going to act exactly the same way every day; she'll have good days and bad days; days when she seems lucid and other days when she seems off the wall and not like herself at all. My mother lived in a Memory Care AL when her dementia got pretty bad and her issues became too many to be dealt with in regular Assisted Living. There was no way I was qualified to care for her at home, as one person, with her TON of issues! She needed a team of caregivers working 24/7 to help her every day. That's what normally happens when dementia progresses; it becomes too much to handle alone at home, as you are seeing with abusive behavior. Next time she hits you, call 911 and have her taken to the ER for a psychiatric evaluation. If you'd like her to be placed, tell the ER she is an unsafe discharge when they're ready to release her. The social worker will have to find her a Skilled Nursing Facility to live in at that point, and you can apply for Medicaid.

Wishing you the best of luck dealing with this difficult situation and trying to keep your mom safe.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter