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my mother is 83 with moderate cognitive memory loss, 94 lbs no other health issues and we have just found out she has a malignant tumor on her right kidney. All contained on that kidney. She is not in any pain but urinates every 15 minutes. Her urologist wants to remove this kidney and ureter tube laporisopically. He states that she will be in the hospital for about a day and a half. She resides at an assisted living facility near my home. I am certainly prepared to be there with her for about a week all day along with home health nurses to make sure she recovers well. My concern is what kind of quality of life she will have after the surgery and the effect the anesthesia will have on her.

Anyone had a parent that this has happened to? Really struggling with whether or not to leave the kidney and tumor alone. I am going to call her internist tomorrow and ask that she contact the urologist and give me her honest opinion whether she would have her 83 year old Mother go through this surgery.

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I am assuming you have POA and MPOA to make these decisions. Having one kidney is not a big deal. You can live without one kidney, however, at 94 lbs. I would really caution the anestheologist she cannot take very much of whatever he/she might give her, although if she is having it done laproscopically, she won't be out too long. The tumor will eat the kidney, and you don't know if it will spread, and since dementia is a terminal illness, I guess you can take your pick which illness will get her sooner. Her heart might not withstand the surgery thereby saving her from the further deterioration of Alzheimer's. Those of my thoughts. My husband with dementia has part of his pancreas removed and no spleen, and he continues to be pretty healthy. Best wishes.
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I would also want to talk to the anaesthesiologist about performing surgery on her at this age, and maybe even consult a geriatrician before going ahead. You want to be sure that they do everything possible to prevent problems. Then, if the outcome isn't perfect, you can know that you did your best.
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Yes, been there except Mom was 77 or 78.
Her doctor saw something in her blood tests, kept sending her for more and finally to a urologist who told her the exact same thing. Left kidney (not right) 98% sure it would be cancer. It was contained and she needed no chemo or even a pill to take after the surgery. She is now 87, her memory problems more obvious than then. We have to keep reminding her to drink and take care of the one kidney that's left. She had the surgery the old fashion way. Cut her in half nearly, so was in hospital a week and it took a while to feel normal again. If they can do it laparoscopically, I would say do it. Her doctor said it was a miracle that hers was found early before it spread. If your moms may spread, you might save her from cancer treatment later that could make her last days miserable. Right now my mom is in great physical condition, thanks to stents and other measures. I expect her to live several more years. I will hate to see the dementia take over her mind. I saw my grandmother lost in her own world for a few years before she passed away. Mom wouldn't want to live like that, but for now she is in a retirement home that supplies almost everything but monitoring her meds, snacks, soft drinks (which can be purchased from the front desk I think). But I bring her that stuff and anything she asks for. (except a neck lift.). :-)
If your mom doesn't have the surgery laparoscopically, knowing what I know of moms suffering with her surgery, I wouldn't put her through it again. It was FAR worse on her than they told us. Antibiotics and anesthesia make her hallucinate and it's awful each time. There is lots of comments about urinary tract infections on this sight, and the side effects from treatments. God bless. I pray you can decide what is best for your mom, and I'm sure you are asking the right questions. Donna
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She should be in better shape a week or two after the surgery than if she did not have the surgery......but her docs can best say knowing the whole situation.
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I know the age is different but I had my right kidney removed 6 years ago when I was 60. The good thing about it being contained is I had no chemo or radiation. I had a regular surgery so it was a bit painful afterwards but with the
doctor wanting to do it laprascopically, that should work out much better. She should be fine. Good luck.
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