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You have to have a break. It's no longer a luxury but a necessity. You've done right by your family and now it's their turn to help you.

What you do when your dad calls next is tell him that you can't come over, that you're taking some time for yourself and that you need a break. Give him the name of some home healthcare agencies in you area and let him know that you can no longer do this alone, you need your own life. Tell him what you told us.

But we can't expect people to figure out what we need. We can't expect someone to see that we need help. We're the only one who can do this for ourselves, no one else can or will do it. Take responsibility and get yourself some down time and time with your own family.

This is a solvable problem.
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If you keep going over, he's going to continue not to understand. So many caregivers die before the folks they're caring for do. I don't think there is a way to change your dad's mind, but you CAN change your behavior. "No dad, I can't come today. The doctor has me on bed rest for 4 weeks or my female parts are going to fall on the floor". A month should be enough time for themto get used to a new way of doing things. Take care of yourself and your health. Ask yourself what would happen if you died?
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