Continue reading things like Aging Care. Try your very best to take care of yourself---including physically, emotionally, spiritually, This could be for big or little things, breaks, properly resting, a moment or two for pampering now and then, cultivating and maintaining your friendships as well as your future supporters, taking time for intellectual, entertainment, or spiritual enrichment, eating well, sleeping well, making time for mental and physical exercise, keeping up with check-ups, medications, vitamins, etc., etc.. Be open to accepting help from others starting now, whether it's to aid you, your other family members, or your mom---directly and/or indirectly. While you're checking out things at your senior center/community center, be open to finding things which might benefit her AND/OR you. Our center offered oodles of things including lectures, activities, outings, daily meals, entertainment, health screenings, info, free tax and legal advice, a huge variety of cultural groups, exercise programs and an equipment room, and support groups like one for caregivers (of LO with all kinds of dementia). I strongly recommend you join one like this last group as I found it soooo helpful in providing info---usually relayed by other caregivers who'd had or were having experiences similar to those you have experienced or might experience in the near future. Plus, I found attending very helpful in showing me I wasn't alone as well as in providing a place for me to "just?" vent from time to time. Best wishes.
This is to Johnnieb. I am not trying to be cruel, but when your health is declining it may be time to put him into a nursing home where he will get 24/7 care. I know you love him, but you need a life too. With all the problems he has, he is probably not thinking clearly, and does not realize the burden he is placing on you. Call the department of aging in your state and get help. If he was not so sick do you think that he would want you to be living like this. Do you know that 50% of caregivers die before the person they are caring for. Why...they neglect themselves. Please, I know you love and adore him, but he really needs more care than any one person can give. I am sure he loves you and does not realize what a hard time you are having.
Hello i am a only child caring for my father who is 75 and has had 3 organ transplants ,bypasses,bi-lateral femoral bypasses, a multitude of little issues with the most recent a diverticculum in the upper intestinal tract which of course is very rare it usually happens in the lower G.I....After being starflighted to Erie county Medical Center and after days of tests they finally identified the problem as that, he has had 32 blood transfusions and that led to a iron deficient anemia which caused a million issues the most serious damaging his 2nd kidney transplant and heart soo all said and done 28 days in hospital mind you! he is home again in my care and a solid schedule of VNA nurses . NOW,, he is having serious issues with his legs and feet from nurothapy and venus articulation( poor blood flow) and has a real hard time walking with a walker and one night at 4am (im sleeping upstairs with 1 eye open constantly) i felt the house shake once again and yes he did fall again this time he decided to go to the kitchen and weigh himselp to see if he needed a water pill and he fell backwards off the scale and crashed his back into the kitchen cabinets and it is day 3 and he is in dire pain from the fall and i can see on his bach where he hit the lazy susan handle all black and purple surrounding his lower shoulderblade area we are having a hard time getting him to the hospital and he knows he needs x-rays but just says wait a day....i have been caring for him for 15 years now and he usually knows whats right for himself but now im concerned now more than i usually am. can someone tell me how to handel this?? i am trying to bite my tongue and not piss him off it is so hard to do this and it is killing me to see him suffer like this we think he may have cracked or broken ribs and serious back/spine issues. i have him in the hospital bed and keeping him comfortable so far..... he is getting his 18 pills for renal 3x a day and his pain pills. i have a heating padon the affected area as well ......any advise? my health has taken a plunge through all the years of this but love comes first. he is my friend,mentor and father ya know?
I am an only child also. It is difficult. Try to get someone who can give you relief if you need it. Look into a provider through medicaid. Call your department of aging, they can help see if she is qualified for a medicaid provider. They will come in and help prepare meals and help with baths, etc. Do she qualify for Meals on Wheels that will ensure she receives a hot meal 5 days a week. Call a social worker they can help you out with resources. Is there a senior center in your community? If so they often provide activities and can help you locate resources to help you out. See if the doctor can order home health care or if their condition is bad enough, hospice.
Hi Onelove, I am an only child as well and having aging parents and all that comes with it has been one of the times I have missed having siblings the most...for support, to bounce things off of, etc. I do understand that not all siblings are helpful as well. My parents live about 2 hours away and just moved out of their home of 50 years into a senior living complex. Now they are in an independent living apartment but are very close to my mom needing assisted living or skilled nursing. Dad is her main caregiver and I thought it would be better once they were out of their house, but I'm not sure. They moved in September and are still adjusting,but seem sad about their move. About a year ago they were going to move to my town and a nice comparable place here, but mom went to the hospital and they decided to postpone. They decided to stay close to where they have lived to be near friends and familiar places. I am a little torn about this decision as it makes it harder for me to get there and do things for them, where before they would have been one mile from our home. But, they are able to make their own decisions and I am grateful for that. I know I am rambling, but maybe us onlies need to look here for support from each other. These are difficult times. Hang in there.
i am also an only child caring for a very difficult elderly father who is also suffering from the beginning of dementia. it is very, very difficult and is taking a huge toll on me. i really don't have much advice to give but i remind myself to take things day by day, try to brush off as much as the negativity and complaints as possible and think of my friends who have siblings to help that don't. many people with siblings complain that they are incredibly hurt and angry at siblings who refuse to help or ones that criticize every decision along the way. either way it is a terrible situation. hang in there and i will try to do the same.
NOW,, he is having serious issues with his legs and feet from nurothapy and venus articulation( poor blood flow) and has a real hard time walking with a walker and one night at 4am (im sleeping upstairs with 1 eye open constantly) i felt the house shake once again and yes he did fall again this time he decided to go to the kitchen and weigh himselp to see if he needed a water pill and he fell backwards off the scale and crashed his back into the kitchen cabinets and it is day 3 and he is in dire pain from the fall and i can see on his bach where he hit the lazy susan handle all black and purple surrounding his lower shoulderblade area we are having a hard time getting him to the hospital and he knows he needs x-rays but just says wait a day....i have been caring for him for 15 years now and he usually knows whats right for himself but now im concerned now more than i usually am. can someone tell me how to handel this?? i am trying to bite my tongue and not piss him off it is so hard to do this and it is killing me to see him suffer like this we think he may have cracked or broken ribs and serious back/spine issues. i have him in the hospital bed and keeping him comfortable so far..... he is getting his 18 pills for renal 3x a day and his pain pills. i have a heating padon the affected area as well ......any advise? my health has taken a plunge through all the years of this but love comes first. he is my friend,mentor and father ya know?
I am an only child as well and having aging parents and all that comes with it has been one of the times I have missed having siblings the most...for support, to bounce things off of, etc. I do understand that not all siblings are helpful as well.
My parents live about 2 hours away and just moved out of their home of 50 years into a senior living complex. Now they are in an independent living apartment but are very close to my mom needing assisted living or skilled nursing. Dad is her main caregiver and I thought it would be better once they were out of their house, but I'm not sure. They moved in September and are still adjusting,but seem sad about their move. About a year ago they were going to move to my town and a nice comparable place here, but mom went to the hospital and they decided to postpone. They decided to stay close to where they have lived to be near friends and familiar places. I am a little torn about this decision as it makes it harder for me to get there and do things for them, where before they would have been one mile from our home. But, they are able to make their own decisions and I am grateful for that. I know I am rambling, but maybe us onlies need to look here for support from each other. These are difficult times. Hang in there.