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I had a room for rent. I saw a post on FB there was a 70 YOF looking for a room to rent. I had one, so I contacted the poster. The poster was a nurse aide for roommate ("S"). The nurse aide said "S" was independent, took care of herself, used the bathroom on her own and used pull-ups for "just in case she didn't make it), feeds herself, washes and dresses herself, etc. "She uses a walker but other than that, all good."


My new roommate "S" has been here 3 weeks. She has physically been in the bathroom 2 times to shower. She has been laying in bed, wetting and pooping in the bed. Filling diapers and dropping them in a bucket next to the bed or on the floor next to the bed. Her nurse aide comes M-F between 9 am. and 3p.m. to help with more challenging things, like laundry, shopping, cleaning. I have not seen the nurse aid take soap and water into her room to bathe her and she has only been in the shower twice. She has half of one kidney and drinks tall cans of Long Island Iced tea every day. She chain smokes cigarettes and smokes weed. She stays in the bed, drinking, smoking, laying in her waste and next to her waste. She opens the windows and leaves them open with temperatures ranging from 30-50 f outside. My heat is running non-stop. The ammonia odor is so strong, I got sores in my nose and it set off the carbon monoxide and explosive gas detector in the kitchen. My washer and dryer wreak of ammonia and poop. At most, she has 30 hours per week with an aide. The other 138 hours per week, she is on her own and not performing any self care other than feeding herself long island ice tea, smoking cigarettes and weed. She is choosing to stay in the bed laying in her waste and with her waste laying around her in balled up blankets on the floor and a short open trash can. I couldn't take the odor anymore and started knocking on the door and pulling her trash out of her room but it is very hard to do with the smell as strong as it is. (She has half of one kidney on top of this.) If her nurse aid doesn't come that day she doesn't eat or drink anything besides the long island ice tea, and she doesn't clean her body or clean up her waste. I had a talk with her because I know she CAN get up and use the bathroom and clean herself up (per her nurse aid) but she chooses not to. I told her I could not allow what is happening here continue. By definition, if she is unable to perform the basics of self care, she needs assistance 24/7. She is harming herself but she is also harming me. I have spent a fortune on odor absorbers, candles, odor blocking detergents, etc. And now my electric bill is going through the roof. I'm freezing to death and can't breathe in my own home. I ran her blankets through the washer for 5 hours, washing over and over and using baking soda and vinegar and odor blocking detergent and still couldn't get the odor out. One blanket was full of burn holes. What can I do? I can't live like this and I can't become her 24/7 caretaker. I caught the windows in her room still open in the middle of the night with her sleeping next to the window with it 38 degrees outside and my heat running non-stop. Her behavior is putting both our health and safety at great risk. When she has a doctor appt, she straightens right up, acts competent, and her aide is right there with her. She comes back here and reverts back to bedridden drinking, smoking, filth, windows open, no self care or bathing, and laying with filth. What course of action can I take to get her the care she needs and to protect my own health and safety? I'm in my 50's. I can't live in waste and cold. I have 2 jobs and my own health problems, I can't be her caretaker at the level she needs.

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Evict her chain smoking, pooping, filthy, inconsiderate, lying ass out of your home. The agreement was roommate and the aide and this person scammed you into becoming an involuntary caregiver. You will need to have a straight talk with the aide since she posted on her behalf about moving her out. Get legal help to get her out if she will not voluntarily leave or gives you any kind of crap. Which she/they likely will. There are others on this forum wiser than I about legal matters who may advise you. But the bottom line is she must go, as you said she is endangering you not to mention herself which she obviously does not care about.
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Posts like this one are the reason I just can't leave this forum. Just when I think I've heard or read it all, there is a post like this that comes along.

You've gotten great advice. The only think I'd add is to ask you to update us on your progress to get this roommate out of your house. We love it when a poster makes the necessary changes to actually improve their situation (many don't)!
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Just to clarify everyone saying you can't just throw her out.

Yeah you can, I would do exactly what I said and let them pursue me through the legal system. Who is going to take you to court when a situation like this was totally misrepresented, the woman is in danger of having her house burned down, it is being ruined with the human waste accumulation and she is being poisoned by the filth. Yep, take me to court but, you are out, legally or not.

Go to your states website and look up tenant rights. We had a situation that tenants thought they had rights and were going to show us. During the hearing we informed the Judge that we would comply but, every single tenant would be served via Fed-Ex with a 3 day eviction notice. He confirmed for the tenants that they would be obligated to get out within 3 days if they followed the course they had chosen. So there are options available for quick evictions, you or a real estate attorney can get an emergency hearing, even now, to get this danger out of your home. You are not stuck with this situation. You may have a fight on your hands but, you will prevail and you don't have to fight it with her endangering you in your home.
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bundleofjoy Dec 2021
i agree with you.

but something is stopping OP from evicting. i don’t know why.

i think there are more facts about this whole situation that we don’t know about.

i hope you’ll be ok, OP and also S.
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I would call 911 on a Sunday, like this afternoon and tell them that you have a roommate that is having a medical emergency. You know this because you can smell human waste and haven't heard her up and about and you are afraid to go into her room. They will respond. Don't tell them anything more, you want her out and if they think this is normal behavior, they may not intervene.

When they see the conditions that you described they will probably transport her. She is obviously mentally ill and needs professional intervention. Self neglect is a situation that APS will get involved in. At that point you tell them that she can not safely return to your home. She doesn't have anyone to care for her and you CAN NOT, no explanation needed.

The low levels people will stoop to is mind boggling.

I would change the locks as soon as she is transported. If the aid shows up, tell her to jog on, lying, manipulate piece of work. Let her figure out what to do.
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Why haven't you evicted her?
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Just a thought. If this person is a Certified Nurses Aide, report her to the State. In my State the Nursing Board is in charge of licensing CNAs.
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bundleofjoy Dec 2021
i think that’s a good idea.

however, i don’t think the aid is really a nurse.

and OP, writing:
“I have spent a fortune on odor absorbers, candles, odor blocking detergents, etc.”

nobody does that.
the story doesn’t make sense. no one would continue renting to someone with all those problems AND spend their own money on deodorants, etc.

they would simply ask S to leave; evict; call APS; do something.
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"The aides solution to the problem is #1 She is moving S out on Jan 3rd."

Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Do you know what the aid picked the magical date of January 3rd? Because I will bet that's the amount of time that your state uses to establish permanent residency, at which point she will have SQUATTER'S RIGHTS. Which means you can't just throw her out, you will HAVE to evict; AND she can refuse to pay rent, etc. - do all of the things that will make her a MORE terrible tenant.

IF THERE IS NO LEASE SIGNED tell this CNA she has 24 hours to get this woman out of your home, or you're packing up her stuff and throwing it outside...because I guarantee, once she can establish residency, you will NEVER get rid of her! It sounds like they BOTH know how to game this system, don't fall for it! Act sooner, though, because your window of opportunity is quickly shutting.
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sp19690 Dec 2021
Damn straight.
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Additionally, I would take pictures and document EVERYTHING that's going on, and contact APS again. This time, make an appointment with them and go to their office with all of the documentation. The fact that this CNA grabbed your "tenant" and RAN out of the home rather than face APS is a HUGE red flag that they are taking advantage of the system. If you can pick APS brain about what they're (CNA/"S") are doing, and it's not legal, then that DOES become a matter for the police.
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sp19690 Dec 2021
Do you really think this happened. That APS came and the aide took this stank ads woman and ran out of the house and then this person let them come back in? Their crap would have been on the curb so fast. If that was me.
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Why rent to someone who didn’t present ID? Or the name of the agency paying rent. I had duplex in Ohio. It was rented by an agency for three young men with caregivers. I was given ID for the young men and their caregivers. I had all contact info on the agency. One young man’s parents gave me their info.
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Isthisrealyreal Dec 2021
Becky, exactly. This is how 48 hours stays on the air.

Some random person allowed to move in with no background check, reference check or valid state issued ID's check and next thing you have an unsolved crime.

I can't imagine. I wouldn't even hire someone to work in a public place, with lots of people around without doing this, forget about sleeping in the same house.
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This post is obviously fake. No one is going to let a stranger crap all over their house, get them out of the house and let them back in for another 2 weeks or so.

Now if it is real you don't let someone move in you should have asked for their ID the aides ID so you know who the hell you moved into your house.
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bundleofjoy Dec 2021
100% agree with you.
the story is fake.

shame on you OP, wasting our time/energy.

maybe parts of the story are true, or all fake. either way, OP is stealing our time.
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