Neighbor called APS on me because mom went to neighbor's house. We just moved here a year ago. Should I get a lawyer?

Do not move her money to your name. That is called financial exploitation of a vulnerable adult. A felony and reason enough, all by itself to move mom to a place of their choosing.

If you have not done so already, move her money out of her name.   Medicaid has a recovery system, but the state is FAR less likely to want to take if they don't think they will get paid.

I find this thread so... strange. None of this is on your OP. It's on APS and your neighbors. From your post, it was a one time occurrence. Unless there's a big part of the story missing, so she went to a neighbor's house. If I was the neighbor I would have simply brought her back home, I wouldn't have called APS. Now if it kept on happening over and over again, that would be another thing. As for APS, once again unless there's something big missing in the story, they must get calls like that all the time. Unless there's a pattern, I don't see that there's anything actionable. I also don't think they can take guardianship just like that. They would have to petition for it in court. You of course can fight.

If APS is so concerned about taking care of adults that can't take care of themselves, why are there then so many homeless people on the streets? IDK about where you live, but where I am there are little mini homeless encampments everywhere. By definition, each and every one of those people can't care for themselves. There are plenty of elderly and mentally ill without homes. Why doesn't APS step in as aggressively there?

Whoa! We lived in NC and they need to after animal kennels and breeders like they've done with you.

I had to call APS on a sibling back home and had plenty of reasons that would hold up in Court, but then I needed to change course really fast and let APS know why. They finished what they 'had' to do, but they understood and things ended so I could take care of the situation.
THEN my stepsibling had me reported to the bank for fraud and told me the bank reported me to APS. Big problem with her story, she didn't get the roles in the proper order and gave it away that she did all of this reporting.
I was called by APS and when they told me why I actually started laughing so hard I started crying. I told them I would be happy to open my books to them, but if they really wanted to find the culprit, go after the stepsiblings. I had a letter in about 60 days stating there was absolutely nothing to back the accusation.
It doesn't make sense if everything is ok within the house etc, the neighbors should know about Mom's condition(s).
Yes, absolutely get an attorney AND her doctors to back you up regarding the situation.

Even if you end up not needing a lawyer for this situation, find one for the future. Your lawyer should know your situation and your Mom's intimately. He or she should have all documents on file...POA, wills, trusts, whatever. Keep them informed of issues and problems along the way. When you establish this relationship with your lawyer, you can call them at a moment's notice when a issue arises. My attorney has seen me through my journey from divorce from my first husband and the death of my mother (he settled her estate for me) to where I am now...remarried and dealing with a 92 year old MIL and a husband with possible cognitive issues. I trust my lawyer with all of my affairs and he acts immediately on behalf of my husband and I whenever we need him to. Find someone you like and trust and who will be there when you need them!

I don't understand the "daycare" thing. Do they mean putting Mom in an adult Daycare to give you a break? Or are you talking about Homecare where an aide will be sent to help you with Mom? Can u afford what they want u to do? If not, they need to find a way u can afford it.

I would do what they are asking. You have a lot on ur shoulders. And with ur health problems, stress doesn't help.

They are trying to help keep Mom in your home. They can override ur POA. Look at it they are trying to help you.

APS talking to neighbors is part of their job. The neighbors will say they don't know you that well.

I think that you should consider the ADULT DAY CARE option suggested by APS, as it would free up time in your already busy schedule and give you some much needed support and give you the opportunity to manage your other responsibilities, and give you the time to rest and recuperate during her daily outing, which will be good for her too!

APS Isn't there to prosecute you, they are there to help both you and your mother, and I think you need to step back and look at this more objectively. They may be seeing you as overwhelmed and needing additional help to be able to keep your Mom at home longer than perhaps you would be able to, if this is what you wish to do.

There is nothing wrong with accepting the help offered, for if they truly found you to being incompetent, they would have removed her on the spot.

Try to look as this as additional layer of assistance that will enhance both of your lives. You have a tremendous amount of pressure on you right now dealing with SD, you Mom with Dementia, and your own illness, which is made worse by the stresses you are dealing with, so take all the help that is offered, and hopefully things will lighten up with the additional support.

You really are doing a great job, but your Mom will continue to decline in her Dementia, and will continue to make life that much harder. Accepting that help will only make your life easier in the long run. Good luck!

This must be incredibly upsetting for you and I’m sorry your difficult circumstances have gotten more complicated. I agree with Ahmijoy that you should fully cooperate with APS. For your peace of mind, if you can afford a consultation with a lawyer then set up an appointment and hear what they have to say. And finally, please consider that as your disease progresses and you mom’s disease progresses, it’s realistic to say that you may not be able to provide care long term. This may be an opportunity to avoid even bigger problems up the road. I’m not trying to be harsh, but offering a well-meaning bit of practical advice.
Hugs to you and your mom.

Wegener’s is SO serious and SO complex. Unless there are circumstances beyond those you’ve mentioned, would it be better for both you and your mother if she were a ward of the state?.

Do you have deadbolt locks on all your doors to prevent your mom from wandering off? If not, you should consider it. The ones that can't be opened from the inside without a key. Then be sure to place the key, or keys, where she can't get to them. Don't place them on a hook where they might be found. People even with dementia or Alzheimer's can be very resourceful-escape artists--at least in the earlier to mid stages of the illness.
In his lifetime my father-in-law who came to live with us wandered off while I went to take a shower. He was sitting in a chair sleeping, I had the room darken, and I figured "YAY! This is my chance to hop in the shower"-I was only in the shower for about 3 mins when I came out and he'd unlocked the front door and wandered off. It was cold outside. Wet, with quickly thrown on clothes I went looking for him. He'd actually wandered the street and was in another block trying to hitch a ride back to a town Arkansas where his parents family once owned a farm. I told him to hop on in and we'd be on our way. Drove around the block back to the house and just that quick, he'd forgotten all about trying to hitch a ride to Arkansas.
But please consider deadbolts. You having moved to the area and having been there only a year, what could your neighbors tell APS about you or your mom anyway? Do you have any interactions with any of your neighbors at all? Someone you might be able to trust to talk with?
But please consider deadbolt locks. The kind that needs a key to unlock from the inside as well as out.

"APS has said abuse, neglect and exploitation on me." Is this what you have been accused of? Have they taken you to court? Were you found guilty?

I have never said this to anyone. I suggest that you ask APS to petition the court for guardianship of mom. You sound too ill to be caring for mom with an illness of her own that will only get worse.

You bought a house together? How did that happen? Are you equal owners with equal cash investment? Mom doesn't qualify for Medicaid, she makes too much? What is the source of mom's income? How is that spent? Are you paying your share of household expenses?

Yes, if I were you I would certainly get an attorney. Not sure what speciality to recommend to you. Of course that attorney is your expense, not mom's.

One additional question. You got meds right? Was that process under the care of a doctor? Regular appointments? Meds given in compliance with prescription?

This seems a little extreme on the part of APS. We had an autistic boy who burst into our home one day a few years ago after he wandered away from his home but I would never have thought to call CPS because the police were already involved. However, APS doesn’t “lie” and they don’t target or pick on people. They're way too busy for that.

How long was Mom wandering the neighborhood before you got to the neighbor’s house where she eventually wound up? (You don’t need to “know” the neighbors for them to report you) Are you sure this hasn’t happened before? Is APS recommending daycare because Mom is being left alone?

Cooperate with APS. Tell them you are seeking help for your mother and provide documentation from doctors she’s seen. Ask them to help you find a solution for your mother. They will not go away and you are now on their radar. If they have told you if you don’t cooperate they will take guardianship of your mother if you don’t do as they say, they aren’t kidding.

How is it that, with an autoimmune disease, caring for your father on hospice and a mother with dementia who wanders, that you dont think that having some time to yourself would not be a good thing?

Does your mother have SS that can be used to pay for DayCare?