How do I proceed?

My 50 year old husband has end stage renal disease. He had a stroke a few years ago that left him mentally impaired. He is currently suffering from intractable (prolonged) hiccups. His anxiety and hiccups cause him to stop dialysis hours before his time is up. As a result he is getting sicker. We haven't found an effective treatment for his hiccups, or his anxiety or his insomnia. As a result me and my teenaged daughters are exhausted. We have work and school.

I believe my husband should be in a nursing home or assisted living. If he continues to stop his dialysis, he will need hospice. He has no income of his own due to not enough credit with social security. We don't qualify for Medicaid because they would want me to spend down my retirement 401k which I couldn't do without a significant tax burden and penalty, not that I would even if I could. Also, my income is too high. Medicaid doesn't seem to understand I have to support myself and my children

I am so tired. My children and I need respite badly but don't see a solution. Does anyone have any ideas on how to get Medicaid or any help. My husband has a crises at least twice a week and I can't keep leaving my job and I just feel like I can't go on much longer like this.