Area Agency on Aging Answers on Aging for West Central Ohio
937-223-HELP 1-800-258-7277
This is the website address - https://info4seniors.org/ - but it's so simple I couldn't believe it's correct so I copied their phone number as well. Lots of resources on there, hope you find something helpful.
You say "his wife" so that makes me think the woman is not ur wife's mother? If not ur wife's mother, does she have children of her own? If so, they are responsible for their mothers care. Your wife for her Dad.
I agree, you need to see an elder lawyer to see what options you have. I also agree, that the next time FIL is in the hospital and its because he is not getting care in the home, the discharge nurse needs to be told that its unsafe to send him home. This is a good time to get him placed in Memory Care if he can afford it. If not, a nice Long-term facility applying for Medicaid. An elder lawyer will be needed to split assets in both scenarios. FILs split going towards his care and his wife's split going towards hers.
How do you expect the wife to properly take care of her husband when she suffers health issues of her own??? They both need Assisted Living where they can have services and amenities 24/7, or in home help to assist with their needs. Otherwise, you'll have to wait for a hospital stay for one of them where it's deemed they can't return home to live independently again. That's when they get forced into managed care for their own safety.
Have you discussed POA? If not, and there is any descent into incompetency (Dad may already BE there) you will be seeing this come to a head eventually with some hospitalization and Social Services will contact you; they may help you with getting guardianship, temporary guardianship, conservatorship. You will then be looking at placement considerations.
You might, if you wish, visit an elder law attorney or a Licensed Social Worker in private practice for guidance. Consider whether or not you want to report them as seniors at risk and open an APS case; they can also help you with getting conservatorship if your parents won't willingly give you POA.
Meanwhile try, when checking on them, not to enable their bad decision not to address future care needs. Try to have sensible discussions with them. Look up what being POA means; you will need to decide if you WANT this difficult fiduciary position or not.
I am so sorry. This is such a typical story here. It happens for so many and is so distressing. You are not alone, not that this helps you much.
How do you know he's back in the hospital because of lack of care? When someone's health is in decline, repeated hospitalizations happen whether they have good care at home or not.
If you've determined that he's not being cared for properly and have evidence of that, send a note to his primary care physician. Evidence could be pictures you take of the home situation and videos of procedures that aren't being done properly by his wife. It would be good to show these to the doctor or to any social workers who are called in.
Next time he goes to the hospital, you and/or your wife should inform the discharge person that sending him home would be an unsafe discharge. Then he may be discharged to a memory care facility that will take care of him properly.
Don't take him into your own home! His care will be beyond you, if it isn't already. As for mom, that's a whole other issue. She probably needs to be in a care facility also.
Answers on Aging for West Central Ohio
937-223-HELP
1-800-258-7277
This is the website address - https://info4seniors.org/ - but it's so simple I couldn't believe it's correct so I copied their phone number as well. Lots of resources on there, hope you find something helpful.
Who's the decision-maker, your FIL or his wife?
I agree, you need to see an elder lawyer to see what options you have. I also agree, that the next time FIL is in the hospital and its because he is not getting care in the home, the discharge nurse needs to be told that its unsafe to send him home. This is a good time to get him placed in Memory Care if he can afford it. If not, a nice Long-term facility applying for Medicaid. An elder lawyer will be needed to split assets in both scenarios. FILs split going towards his care and his wife's split going towards hers.
Good luck to you
If not, and there is any descent into incompetency (Dad may already BE there) you will be seeing this come to a head eventually with some hospitalization and Social Services will contact you; they may help you with getting guardianship, temporary guardianship, conservatorship. You will then be looking at placement considerations.
You might, if you wish, visit an elder law attorney or a Licensed Social Worker in private practice for guidance. Consider whether or not you want to report them as seniors at risk and open an APS case; they can also help you with getting conservatorship if your parents won't willingly give you POA.
Meanwhile try, when checking on them, not to enable their bad decision not to address future care needs. Try to have sensible discussions with them. Look up what being POA means; you will need to decide if you WANT this difficult fiduciary position or not.
I am so sorry. This is such a typical story here. It happens for so many and is so distressing. You are not alone, not that this helps you much.
If you've determined that he's not being cared for properly and have evidence of that, send a note to his primary care physician. Evidence could be pictures you take of the home situation and videos of procedures that aren't being done properly by his wife. It would be good to show these to the doctor or to any social workers who are called in.
Next time he goes to the hospital, you and/or your wife should inform the discharge person that sending him home would be an unsafe discharge. Then he may be discharged to a memory care facility that will take care of him properly.
Don't take him into your own home! His care will be beyond you, if it isn't already. As for mom, that's a whole other issue. She probably needs to be in a care facility also.