My parents are financially irresponsible.

I am very protective of our money. Its conservatively invested. I loan, I expect it back and if not, I don't loan to that person again. My DD was our first loan of 6k, for a down payment on her home. If we had not gotten it back we would have just considered it an investment. We got it back. My niece borrowed 500, I was not expecting that back but got it.

What you need to do is sit down with Mom and Dad with their bills. See what can be cut out. Maybe the car needs to go. Seems they can't afford it. And when it does finally die, what do they plan on doing? Your parents are adults that made the wrong decisions and now have consequences for those decisions.

Boundaries by Townsend and Cloud is a book that’s been helpful to many, including me. I have a financially irresponsible sibling who always came to my parents, and one day will come to me. Boundaries teaches the age old law of sowing and reaping. When you sow the seeds of something good or bad, you reap the harvest of exactly that. Unless someone comes along, thinking they’re helping, and interrupts that law of sowing and reaping. They step in, and whatever rotten thing or decision has been sown is taken care of, and the consequences that would have naturally occurred don’t happen. The reaping is lost, no lesson is learned and the pattern only continues. It only satisfies the one who falsely believes they need to help, when actually that help is hurting as it stops what needed to happen. Please allow what needs to happen in your parent’s lives. It may seem like you don’t care when it’s in truth making a positive impact. I wish you strength and peace

THanks to everyone for the encouragement. My parents have always helped themselves to my money (starting when I was 14), used my cars, and even rearranged my house when I was on vacation. (They had a key for emergencies, but that was the last straw. I took my keys back.) I will talk to a bankruptcy lawyer and look into assistance programs (utilities) to help them. I don't want to end up like them or be sucked dry. It's time to get counciling for myself and let the grief go.

If they can't afford insurance, then they can't afford the car or the home. If your paying for medical insurance, maybe Medicaid is the way to go.

NO is a complete sentence.
When they run out of food you tell them where the nearest food pantry is.
When they run out of gas you tell them that they will not be able to drive until they get their next SS check.
YOU paying their insurance and utilities does not help them learn how to budget.
If you want them to learn to budget better but still want to help out then pay HALF of the utilities and HALF of their insurance.
If they can not afford where they live help them find Senior housing that would be less expensive.
Who is going to help you when you get to retirement and you have spent all your retirement money helping your "Ne'er-do-well" parents.

Your parents aren't going to change and they are going to run out of money. You need to STOP enabling this behavior. You aren't doing them or yourself a favor by doing this. It will be very, very hard to say "No, I can't pay that for you." They will whine and say how much they need you to help and you just have to keep saying "No, I can't give you that money." You don't need any further explanation to them, just NO. And don't expect them to change their behavior because this is how they have chosen to live, and it is their choice.

Learn to say no. It's not that difficult. No only has 2 letters.

"They are in the early 70's and still owe so many creditors!" Your parents have never heard of declaring bankruptcy? There is no reason to owe anyone. You are foolish to keep funding their overspending and childish behavior. You need your rainy day fund for your own retirement and your parents are in effect stealing from you and from your future self to pay for your own care. Shame on them. Stop giving them money and let them feel the consequences of their selfish spending. Parents like this are disgusting and pathetic leeches.

One of the truest sayings is that you can never solve people's money problems by giving them money.

They have been living above their means for a long time. You know that they are. Stop enabling them to do this.

You deserve to have your ‘rainy day’ fund instead of handing it over to them.

Your parents aren’t responsible with money. You are following in their footsteps, with the exception, that you have a heart problem. You are thinking with your heart instead of your head.

Why? Because these people are your parents and you care deeply. I get that. I am all for temporarily helping others to get over a hump. This isn’t a bump in the road. It’s a lifestyle for them.

Just think about it for one minute, would you do this for someone that you don’t know? Never! Because you wouldn’t feel responsible for them, right? Well, nor are you responsible for your parents. They are responsible for themselves.

So, when they ask for help again, and you know that they will, say “So sorry, I don’t have it.” End of story.

You don’t owe them a reason why. Regardless of whether you have the money available or not, isn’t the issue. The point is that you really don’t have extra money to spend on your parents because they live above their means.

Best of luck to you. Ditch any feelings of guilt that you are feeling. Guilt isn’t applicable in this situation. If anyone should feel guilt, it is your parents for asking you for money all the time.

"they run out of gas, food, car broke down"
Your parents never learned to budget. 70s is not too late to learn. The gas, oh well that should have been considered in the budget, take the bus. Car broke down, oh well guess ur going to need to take the bus or senior bus until you can scrape some money together. Now food, that I may supply but I am sure if you research there are food pantries. in town. When I was young, we had pancakes or an omelet for dinner the night before Dads payday.

There are programs to help pay for utilities. Do they own their home? If so, may be time to downsize and sell a home they can no longer keep
up. From the proceeds, get rid of as much debt as you can. Or as said, they may just need to do a bankruptcy. There are HUD apartments that charge rent on scale. 30% on total monthly income. Maybe they can get SSI which is a suppliment over and above SS. Get an a appt with Social Services concerning the SSI and Medicaid to pay for their suppliment. Call Office of Aging to see if there is someone there to help them learn how to budget.

Your parents need to learn that they have only so much money. Bills get paid first. What is left is what you have to live on. If they have cable that cost them $200 a month, maybe time to get an antenna and learn to stream from free apps. Food, may have to eat sanwiches a few nights a week. Maybe need to look for sales. Maybe when your siblings cook, they can cook extra and send over to Mom and Dad. Wifi, use the data on their phones. Phones, get Tracfone. They put a certain amount of minutes a month on their phone and when its gone, no more minutes till next month.

Seems like they went hogwild after the kids grew up. Using their IRA's and 401Ks up. What were they thinking and what did they use it on? You should tell them that you are going to back away. They got into the mess they got themselves in. You are now at the age you need to start saving for retirement because you sure do not want to be in the situation they are.

Why would you feel guilty?
Guilt requires causation. If you didn't cause it and cannot fix it there is utterly no responsibility and without responsibility there is ZERO guilt.
I think you should change out your G-words. What you are feeling is grief. Grief that your parents are irresponsible and have always been, and grief that they are robbing you and making you feel responsible.

If you cannot bring yourself to have an honest sit-down with your parents and tell them that your savings are hard won and you are saving them for your own family, your own life and your own old age, then I suggest that you seek psychologist to help you. Cognitive therapy is likely best in this instance.

You are an adult. You are responsible now for yourself and for the family YOU create and bring into this world. You cannot change your parents and currently you are enabling them, which really is tragic. They will not thank you for it nor will anyone else.

We learn the hard way often enough. Looks to me like your parent have some tough lessons coming. OR you can just give them your money. The choice is yours.

NOOOOO. Your extra money is for your rainy days and your golden years and for care if you get in a car wreck or something.

You need an exit plan. Start working in dates in which you will stop paying things and that they will have to problem solve on what they will do.

My parents are like this and they will absolutely suck you dry if you let them.

You’re going to be in the same boat if you keep paying their bills. You say you feel guilty if you don’t pay them… but they sure as hell don’t.

I’m sure you’re the most financially responsible in the family… but paying their bills is very irresponsible. Think about that.

Why would they change anything if you’re there to bail them out? Bailing them out is not a rainy day expense.

They should look into filing bankruptcy. Offer for the three of you to visit an attorney or financial advisor and discuss options.

Why would you feel guilty for saying NO? Your parents are the ones who have made the bad choices not you, so just stop!
You are ENABLING your parents to continue on with their financial irresponsibility by paying for any of their bills, and for that and that alone you should feel guilty.
So just say NO!!! And don't forget that NO is a complete sentence.
Tell your parents that while you love them you can no longer continue to enable their bad behavior and that they will now be responsible for 100% of their bills, as you need your money for your own future and you don't want to end up like them.
If your parents truly need help with food or paying their bills, they can go to different food banks, or crisis control agencies for financial aid.
They have made there bed and now they get to lie in it. Please don't continue to lie in it with them.

You can't. So stop enabling this selfish behavior. They have no reason to change because you continuously rescue them. Please learn about healthy boundaries.

My SFIL was a shameless ne'er-do-well who barely worked (he "sold" Amway and HerbaLIfe). He borrowed money from us and his sons and others which he never paid back. He blew through 2 inheritances plus the retirement money of his MIL (my husband's grandma) on the pretense he was going to "invest" it. His wife chose to be clueless and thus, complicit.

Then when he got Parkinsons and thought me and my husband were his care plan, I made sure he became a ward of the county. He was behind in his property taxes, owed tens of thousands on cc's, had a ballooned second mortgage (after he was begged by family to not do it) and $0 savings. Over the decades of knowing him, we worked all along to "educate" him. The irony is he had an actual college degree in Finance. So, we let him have the retirement he planned for: without our involvement at all. I recommend you do the same for your selfish parents. They are grown adults and have had their entire lives to figure this out. Too late. Now they must live with their plan. Minus you.