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Hello forum friends,


My 100-yr old Auntie passed away peacefully in her sleep this morning at the rehab facility. I'm praising my Lord because He answered some very specific prayers:


That she not endure a long, drawn out dying, being hooked up to machines or having to take all sorts of medications.


That she would die peacefully in her sleep.


That she would go home to the Lord before having to go into a permanent facility, which was in process to happen this coming week.


Even after falling and breaking her hip before Christmas, and foregoing the surgery to repair it, she was only on Tylenol and only had pain if she tried to put weight on that leg and walk. Otherwise, she had no pain.


As requested (and as her PoA/Executor), I gave the rehab facility the name of the funeral home where she will be cremated. I know to ask for at least 5 copies of her death certificate. Other than this, I'm not sure what the process will be.


I'm in MN and she is in FL. Many of our family will be traveling from out of state for her Celebration of Life. Many have jobs and families.


Should I plan the event for a Friday or Saturday? Should I delay the event so that people have time to book flights, etc.? Two weeks or more? If we delay the funeral, is there a cost to store her body?


My Aunt Nancy spent all but 2 of her 100 years with her sister Anna (103, still living at their house). They even worked at the same company all their lives. So, their names are joint on everything... house, banking, investments, etc. She had a small life insurance policy from her company. Anna was her beneficiary on investments. She also owns a lot of EE bonds.


We were recently cashing out some of her investments, like CDs, getting ready to pay for rehab and facility care. Does this mean I have to file taxes for them?


Any suggestions regarding any of this is greatly appreciated.


Thank you, everyone!

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Update:

We (me, hubs and my 93-yr old Mom) went to FL for the Catholic mass funeral. I gave the eulogy (very cathartic), there was a nice brunch back at the "twin" sister's house afterwards which was a wonderful time with family, friends, and neighbors. I will plan another Celebration of Life down there in June for all the relatives who couldn't make it to the funeral. We will all cram into the 2 adjoining houses and eat, laugh, and play together at "our" beach for a week, just like old times. My other Aunt will be 104 by then! She will love all the company.

Thank you to everyone on this forum for your kind words and support!
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JoAnn29 Feb 2023
So glad the funeral was so nice.
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Geaton, I'm sorry for your loss. Take care!
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thank you!
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Call the funeral home tomorrow and they should be able to help you. You might have to sign documents for them to do the cremation. Sometimes there is a couple of days wait, whatever state laws entail. I assume they have an internet docusign available. They might require payment to proceed. Start planning an obit. Even if you do not put it in a newspaper, the funeral home can put it on their website. I actually needed that information when I was executor in my mom's state.
You can delay the celebration with cremation. As far as storage, the funeral home can ship ashes to you. I kept ashes in my home for a few weeks., partly because the coroner took a month to complete the death certificate. I carried my mom's ashes on a plane and contracted with another funeral home at her final destination. In both instances, I did both phone and in person.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thanks, MAC!
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Geaton, God is good, all the time.

No Matter how we think we have prepared, a death is a sudden loss. I am rejoicing that her journey is over and she didn't suffer.

I couldn't pick my dad up for months and the funeral home didn't charge storage for his cremains. Doesn't hurt to ask though.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Amen and thanks, working out the details with the remaining FL Auntie and peeps who want a traditional church funeral right away, vs all the MN peeps who want to wait until a later date because taking time off from work with kids and schedules is difficult and expensive. Something will be worked out...
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May your Aunt Nancy's memory be a blessing to you, Geaton.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Yes, so many years of good memories...thanks!
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So sorry for your family’s loss, a Celebration Of Life certainly sounds appropriate for such a long and what sounds like a full life at 100. Sounds like your plans are coming together and I don’t know if it will make a difference or not but thinking about your Aunt Anna and the adjustment this certainly will be perhaps giving her the ashes to protect until Nancy’s Celebration Of Life would “bring her home” for Anna. You were obviously the perfect POA/Executor choice.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thanks, Lymie... I don't know about "perfect"? I feel like I don't know much and this is all a learning curve experience. I have to submit Nancy's Will to probate and contact SS Admin, etc etc. Hope there aren't any surprises!
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I’m very sorry for your loss, Geaton. I have always enjoyed reading about your elderly aunts.

It almost seemed like they would both live forever! I am so glad that she wasn’t suffering.

Your aunts remind me so much of my husband’s great grandmother who lived to be just shy of 102!
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thanks, NHWM! My husband's great grandmother fell and broke her hip and lived bedridden for another 20 years "back in the day"... she lived to 103 as well. Those old world immigrants who survived the crossing were a tough bunch!
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So sorry to hear she's gone, but glad she didn't suffer.

Your timing of the service will be dependent on the church. Some won't do funerals on weekends, because those are reserved for weddings. I had a tough time getting my mom's service set in part because everyone in her peer group decided to die at the same time and booked it to the gills for weeks. Her church normally did funerals only on Fridays, but my folks were pillars of their church and they let us have a Saturday.

As far as the finances, if she was on joint bank accounts with her sister, those accounts now belong to her sister, and so do the house and everything else they held jointly. If she held anything separately, those will have to be taxed if they're cashed out, but not necessarily if they're transferred directly to a beneficiary. My parents' investments went straight to my account and that of my brother, so we'll pay taxes when we sell them, not just because we inherited them. The cost basis on them was adjusted to the date of my mom's death, so if they paid $10 a share when they bought a stock, and it was worth $50 when my mom died, we'd pay taxes on the value between $50 and the sale price. Get a tax professional to advise you on the tax situation, and make sure you have as many questions ready as possible, because they'll charge you every time you call with another question. The last question I asked the CPA doing my parents' trust's taxes cost me $950, and they gave me bad information! 😡 Needless to say, they're being replaced this year.

Trust me, you won't need 10 death certificates. I don't know what they cost in Florida, but here in California they're $21 apiece, and they sold me a dozen for my dad. I still have 11 of them four years later. I bought five for my mom, and I have four left. I'm about to close the estate, so I have a lot of useless documents.

Take your time -- there's no rush on any of this.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thanks, MJ... good insights. I did reduce the number of death certificates requested to 4. They arre $14 apiece from the funeral home.
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Geaton,

Thanking God with you that your prayers for your aunt were answered! What a lovely finale!
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thank you, cx... it doesn't get too much better an exit than that.
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I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for the Lord to strengthen you as you plan her celebration of life, and may the memories of your sweet Auntie help sustain you during this time.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
I'm so glad my sons had the chance to know her like I did, before she developed dementia.
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So sorry for your loss Geaton.

Such a long life. A long life & a short illness/event. Slip away before a nursing home. 🌻🕊️🦋

I'm sorry I have no knowledge on the financials. May the right experts be found & help you.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thank you Beatty!
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Sorry for your loss Geaton.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thank you!
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After 30 years, I believe the IRS requires payment on the full interest of EE bonds. Also, not all banks cash paper bonds, but some still do. And I believe some will for accountholders, but not others.
https://www.treasurydirect.gov/savings-bonds/manage-bonds/death-of-owner/
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
L2C, very helpful... thanks for your insights!
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Prayers were answered and your dear aunt is now at perfect peace! My condolences on your loss, Geaton.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thank you, LL! I'm SO relieved she didn't have to be moved. She was getting excellent care at the rehab facility, and her sister and nieces were visiting her every day.
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Geaton - I am glad your prayers were answered. Your aunt is now home. How is her sister taking this?
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thanks, PB! Aunt Anna (103) is mournful that her sister didn't "die at home"... not that it would have changed much of anything since Nancy had advanced dementia and didn't care much what bed or building she was in. It will be a huge adjustment for Anna since she lived with her sister for almost 99 years (Nancy would have been 101 in March). They even worked at the same pharmaceutical company together all their lives.
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Deepest condolences on your loss. So glad your aunt died peacefully. Praise God for answered prayers. The funeral home held mother's ashes until I was ready to send them east at no cost. It seems wise to give people time to make travel arrangements. Mother's lawyer looked after her estate and her tax people did the taxes so I can be of no help there. When in doubt I would get the help/advice of professionals.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thanks, Golden... I'm not a math person myself so will gladly get pros to do the "number-y" stuff.
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If she is cremated there should be no cost to store the body. Have them do the cremation and then they can send you the cremains or keep them at the location where the Celebration will be.
Not everyone will be happy with the time chosen but do the best you can in selecting a time frame that will work.
When kids are out of school or coinciding with a school holiday or spring break.
The day to be chosen is up to you but if people are going to turn the Celebration into a little vacation ask if people have plans before or after that might give you a time frame. Just know...You can't please all the people all the time. ....
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thanks, Grandma! Airfare to FL goes up during spring break months. We'll probs have to wait until school's out here in MN (mid June). Any later and south FL turns into an inferno. Last summer I was there for August and September and it was brutal.
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I'm so sorry for your loss.

She can be cremated right away, if you like. Afterward, you can have the urn stored at the funeral home or someone can pick it up and hold it at home until a service. There might be a slight charge for storing the urn on a shelf at the funeral home, but it won't be as much as storing a body under refrigeration.

You don't say where her ashes will be interred, but if it is at a cemetery, that can be done before the memorial service. The urn doesn't have to be present at the service.

If I were the one deciding, I'd want to get the cremains to their final resting place as soon as possible. Then I'd hold off the memorial service for at least a month so that people could make travel plans. Memorial service can be at a church, restaurant, hotel, park, a condo recreation hall, whatever, without the grim container of ashes sitting there. You can have a meal either catered or supplied by friends and family. At that point, you can concentrate on the happy gathering to remember her.

If you are planning to sprinkle the ashes, be aware that you may need a permit.

I wish you luck with all of it.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thanks, Fawnby! Since she lived on the coast in FL and we went to the same beach together for 3 generations, I'm thinking of ways to scatter ashes in the ocean or drop a small concrete form that has her ashes mixed it offshore, which allows reefs to form and supports sea life. Yes, I will look into permits or permissions.
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So sorry for your loss. Take it one step at a time.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Again, thank you!
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I'm sorry for the loss of Auntie. She had a long life!
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thank you, it feels a little surreal... I was starting to think she was immortal!
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I received Moms death certificates thru my funeral director. He gave me 10 and I still have them. Cost was part of the funeral cost. I think I still have more than five. Yes, the CDs are income but only the interest which she has been paying on with a 1099 yearly. Read what I wrote Babs. If Aunt was not filing taxes because SS was main income, and any other income till not go over the cap allowed, than the interest may not take u over that cap. I cashed in Moms CDs 6 yrs ago and interest was so low, it did not take her over the cap. If you just cashed them in January, then you will not get a 1099 till eoy. She will not be getting SS all that time, so may not be enough to file taxes on.

The double EE bonds. After 30 yrs they do not receive any interest. Ours went back to around the 80s. Face value $100 ea. I forget how many we cashed in but the interest alone was 60k. You know you buy at $50 but get $100 at maturity which was 18 yrs. For the next 12, they still received interest. We had to pay 10k that year to IRS. And thats only the ones that were over 30 yrs old. Our investment guy did a spreadsheet showing what each bond was worth. Our bank said they would have done it for us too. Our mistake was cashing in too many that year which took us over our annual income so we lost our Senior tax discount that year.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thanks for all that great info JoAnn. Do we cash in the bonds at the bank? Good insight about not cashing them in all at the same time. Some of them were $1000 bonds when purchased in the 80s and 90s.
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So glad that your aunt went peacefully. Such a blessing.

You might want to do a quick search on the Internet on settling an estate in Florida to give you an idea of what might be involved.

Timing is not the most important thing when planning a celebration of life. If some of your family members were especially close to your aunt, you might try to consider their schedules (like your own!). However, considering the age of your aunt's sister, I would hesitate delaying too long if it is important to her/you for her to be there.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thank you!
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You've already gotten some good advice on what you should/shouldn't be doing at this time, so the only thing that I will add other than my condolences is to tell you that you never need as many death certificates as the funeral home will try and talk you into.
I only got 3 when my husband died and I still have 2 left as most places are more than happy to just make a copy of it and hand you the original back.
Your aunt was blessed to have you look after her and her affairs and I'm so glad to hear that she went peacefully and that God answered your "specific" prayers. He's good like that isn't He?
I'm praying that He now gives you wisdom and discernment along with comfort and peace in the days, weeks and months ahead.
God bless you.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thank you, FG. God is good, all the time.
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Geaton, like you I am grateful that your Aunt is at peace, and accept my condolences.
I would see an attorney in her area and turn a lot of this over to that person. You will be wanting to contact her Sister's POA. I am hoping that isn't you. There is so much to do, really, and I don't think I would worry about services at this time, given the difficulty of doing this long distance and only guessing at who would attend and the age of attendees who may be relieved to know there aren't services TO attend. I think I would do a quiet get together celebration of life when you are able in future to visit and would let anyone know that this will occur in future.
The taxes should be handed over to whomever has been doing her taxes. And she will now need a new EIN (tax number specifically for the estate) and her taxes will be filed as final taxes for an individual clearly marked as that at the top of the IRS form; there's a place for that. AND estate taxes after the estate is entirely distributed.
To tell the truth this is a lot to ask anyone to do. Being executor long distance is very very difficult. I did it for my bro and had already been his acting POA, so it was easier; I already knew his accountants and so on and already had all his banking info and etc.
I wish I could tell you more. Order the Trust and Estate for Dummies from Amazon. It helped me. A little book that helped me more was Please Don't Die but if you Do Die What Should I do Next. I think was by last name Gruber? A father and son attorney.
I just think this is a lot to ask you to do. It will be complicated by the remaining Sister.
My friend just died and I am seeing first hand the struggle of her friend named executor when my friend was surprised with a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer that took her fast. Her estate is a total mess with little left but bills and the friend is struggling even WITH an attorney.
Good luck. the only thing I can say is you are going to learn so much you are going to be even a better contributor HERE, and you are already stellar.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Alva, thank you for all the good input and the kind compliments. I am the PoA for my remaining Aunt and my Mother, and my husband is for his Mom. After the last one "exits" we surely should have our own YouTube channel on this topic!
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Geaton, so sorry for your loss. Also share your sentiment of the blessings of passing in her sleep and not having to face pain and an unwanted move. What a long and good life! Do the memorial when it’s best for the majority who will be attending, realizing there’ll never be a date that works for everyone. Both of your aunts have been so blessed to have you, wishing you peace and comfort in the days ahead
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thank you, I do feel peaceful! My sons have been texting me pictures of their visits with the Aunties in FL for the past 30+ years... they love them so much, it fills my heart!
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No rush to do the life celebration thing, give people time. You’re handling this perfectly. Your aunt was lucky to have you.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thank you, ZZ! Not many people get to have 3 mothers all to themselves!
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My Aunt was creamated and family waited a good month or two to have my aunt’s celebration of life.
so yes , wait and make the arrangements with the funeral home/ cemetery for a burial date. Definitely a weekend or a Friday…

My mom died in May and I will be filing taxes because she turned in a small insurance policy to pay the memory care..Income.. be sure to get legal help with this, as you don’t want to be guessing…

wish you peace!
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JoAnn29 Jan 2023
My Moms policies were only about 7k and less when cashed in. It was the dividends she received, like 8k. But I figured she got 1099 every year for that. Her SS was only 1500 a month and pension 200. She had not paid taxes in years because her income was mostly SS. That little bit she received from her insurance policies would not take her over the income cap allowed. I talked to our tax person and she agreed. She said what Mom would have gotten back would have offset the cost of having the taxes done. So I never filed and its been over 5 yrs and IRS has not come after me.
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Geaton777, my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family.

An Elder Law Attorney can walk you thought any questions you have. My parents Attorney was so very helpful.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Appreciate it, thanks so much!
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First of all, get a reputable estate lawyer to walk you through the financial aspects and make sure everything is done legally....to protect you! I am sure people would appreciate a Saturday service as opposed to a weekday. And, yes, giving people time to book flights would be a very nice gesture. I don't know if there are extra costs in delaying the service but so many people are doing this now.

I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that your responsibilities from here forward in dealing with the estate go smoothly.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thank you!
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So sorry, dear Geaton. She sounds like a wonderful woman.

If she's being cremated, that can happen immediately unless you want to be there. I'd recommend a Saturday service so people who work a regular M-F job can get there.

Not sure about taxes, but you'll have to show a death certificate at all the banks to allow Anna 100% access to the accounts (My MIL and FIL were joint bank account holders, and she had to do this recently). Same with the deeds to everything. Lots of paperwork ahead.

Again, my condolences.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thank you!
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