Just read, you have only been married to him since Oct 2022? You may have grounds for an annulment sighting that he became abusive after the marriage and has been worse since his stroke. Seems you were able to support yourself for 14 years so can do it again.
I would bet you married a Narcissist. Are nicey, nicey until u said those vows and the real person came out. I had an Uncle like that. My Aunt left him after he broke her arm. His 3rd wife after 2 wks of marriage.
I agree, get yourself to a divorce lawyer. You owe this man nothing after 8 months of marriage.
Next time charge him and don't drop the charges. As you see things are just getting worse and they will continue to do so. I think you will also need a restraining order.
That is the only route for an improvement for you and also for him, though nothing is guaranteed except he will get worse if things continue as they are.
Resources you can go to for help - AL-Anon, lawyer/legal aid, the police. your local Agency for Aging, Social Services, APS, woman's shelter, many places of faith offer help/counselling.
Please come back and let us know that you have reached out for help in your community and are acting to keep yourself safe. That is a priority. I know this is very hard. (((((hugs))) to you
You are in a co-dependent dysfunctional relationship with him. This is why you dropped the charges. No one is going to swoop in and rescue you and he isn't going to magically change. Call the cops when he threatens you and then do not drop the charges. Do not go get him from the ER or jail. Tell them he is dangerous and an "unsafe discharge". Get a restraining order. Whatever it takes. Hopefully he will eventually become a ward of the county and then they will deal with him 100% but this takes time since it is a legal process. Divorce is in the mix but protecting yourself and getting him physically away from you is the priority. Have someone help you find a divorce lawyer. Worst case scenario, go to a women's shelter.
And please attend Al-Anon meetings so you can find and defend healthy boundaries for yourself and start to recover your life. I wish you all the best.
"...my current husband had what they called a brain bleed/stroke and he has always been verbally abusive to me but since october i actually had him put in jail because he threatend my life but then i dropped the charges because he was sick but its just getting worse by the day.please helphe even has all of my children and grandchildren hating me."
Why would you stay in a situation like this, dear lady?
Please see a divorce lawyer. Today.
AND talk to you doctor about finding a licensed social worker who can help you re-build your life.
Please come back and let us know how you are doing. We're rooting for you!
When someone you love loses the ability to communicate appropriately, you can chalk it up to “losing filters”, and soldier on.
When someone you DON’T love loses the ability to communicate appropriately, you assess the consequences TO YOU of allowing him to behave in ways that can potentially distress or harm YOU, and base your decision making from that perspective.
You have your hands full for sure! You can call Adult Protective Services and report him. They will come out and do an assessment and offer you suggestions of what can be done. Your local Senior Services or Area Agency on Aging should be able to help as well. Just make sure that you're being very honest and upfront on what exactly you're dealing with, so they get the whole picture and not just part of it. And if needed, a social worker can help you in getting him placed in the appropriate facility, after he detoxes of course, as most nursing facilities are not equipped to deal with that part of the equation. You do NOT have to continue to put up with his abuse of any kind. And if things escalate, call 911 and have him arrested. The police can have him brought to the psych ward at the hospital, where he can receive the proper treatment for his drinking. Please take care of yourself. You deserve so much better. I hope you know that. God bless you.
I would bet you married a Narcissist. Are nicey, nicey until u said those vows and the real person came out. I had an Uncle like that. My Aunt left him after he broke her arm. His 3rd wife after 2 wks of marriage.
I agree, get yourself to a divorce lawyer. You owe this man nothing after 8 months of marriage.
That is the only route for an improvement for you and also for him, though nothing is guaranteed except he will get worse if things continue as they are.
Resources you can go to for help - AL-Anon, lawyer/legal aid, the police. your local Agency for Aging, Social Services, APS, woman's shelter, many places of faith offer help/counselling.
Please come back and let us know that you have reached out for help in your community and are acting to keep yourself safe. That is a priority. I know this is very hard. (((((hugs))) to you
And next time, don’t back off. Never underestimate an abuser. Next time they might kill you.
And please attend Al-Anon meetings so you can find and defend healthy boundaries for yourself and start to recover your life. I wish you all the best.
"...my current husband had what they called a brain bleed/stroke and he has always been verbally abusive to me but since october i actually had him put in jail because he threatend my life but then i dropped the charges because he was sick but its just getting worse by the day.please helphe even has all of my children and grandchildren hating me."
Why would you stay in a situation like this, dear lady?
Please see a divorce lawyer. Today.
AND talk to you doctor about finding a licensed social worker who can help you re-build your life.
Please come back and let us know how you are doing. We're rooting for you!
When someone you DON’T love loses the ability to communicate appropriately, you assess the consequences TO YOU of allowing him to behave in ways that can potentially distress or harm YOU, and base your decision making from that perspective.
Your decision.
Best of luck.
Just make sure that you're being very honest and upfront on what exactly you're dealing with, so they get the whole picture and not just part of it.
And if needed, a social worker can help you in getting him placed in the appropriate facility, after he detoxes of course, as most nursing facilities are not equipped to deal with that part of the equation.
You do NOT have to continue to put up with his abuse of any kind. And if things escalate, call 911 and have him arrested. The police can have him brought to the psych ward at the hospital, where he can receive the proper treatment for his drinking.
Please take care of yourself. You deserve so much better. I hope you know that.
God bless you.