My elderly sister was diagnosed with dementia. She lives in another state. No other family members that lives in the same state is willing to take care of her.

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/my-older-sister-has-dementia-she-lives-out-of-state-and-wants-me-to-bring-her-here-to-live-with-me-a-476122.htm

Above is your post from July 2022. At the time sister was still in her home state. Sorry for the loss of your husband.

If she has Dementia she really can't agree to a contract. But I do agree she should be paying something. You may want to talk to an Elder Lawyer. Like said, you may have to have Medicaid involved at some point.

I understand that when you took her in u had 2 incomes but you should have set something up with her if she was more aware at that time with what was going on. You could have put that money in the bank for her future care. You are going to burn out if ur not already there. You will need help as her Dementia progresses.

I give you lots of credit for helping ur sister while caring for ur husband too.

Time to see an elder law attorney for an hour of advice and the drawing up of a care contract that has not rental (which would have tax consequences) but Shared Living Costs (food, rental, living costs). This should be legally done for the protection of you both, as your sister may need to enter care at some point, requiring that any payments from her are legally done for lookback purposed.

You need also advice on POA for Health and financial if that's a concern. This won't be without cost. In fact likely the SS check from BOTH of you will be needed, but this needs to be done right.

No one here can judge what is FAIR for you. We can't know whether you own your own home, what upkeep costs, what care costs are now and will be in future, what assessment updates you need, what cost of living is for you in general. This is all information your elder law attorney will help you with.

Best out to you both.

Make sure you make a written contract and get paid by check or other non-cash means. This is because at some point if she needs LTC she will also probably need to pay for it with Medicaid. In most states the financial portion of the Medicaid application has a 5-year look-back period. Your sister (or the person fillling out the app for her) has to have a paper trail to show where her funds were going, otherwise Medicaid might consider it "gifting" and therefore delay or disqualify her from getting this benefit, which she will definitely need.

Also, she needs to make you, an then an alternate, her DPoA so that you won't have any barriers to providing her care. If you aren't her PoA then you will have problems legally acting on her behalf, like banking or medical decicions.

A person without a PoA will eventually become a ward of the county when they can no longer act for themselves. Someone has to legally be in this role.