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She will tell me about a movie she watched and say "and I was right there". I'll say "you were so interested in the movie that you felt like you were part of it?" We look at a picture book and she points and says "that's me" in a group of people but it's not. I usually say "well that lady does look like you mom but that's (whoever it is)." She'll say "oh ok." She'll tell me a story of when I was little and she talks ABOUT me TO me...and then she says "(my name) did this". I'll say "do you mean I did that?" And she'll say yes, or she might say "no, the other one" meaning my sister. We go out to lunch and she'll say "there's that same guy we always see" and it's a stranger. I just say "yep". It's not really a problem, but it's just so curious to me. What's that about?

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Pure fantasy sounds like fun to me! Be happy that she is not combative!
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It's very strange, if this were a normal conversation between 2 normal adults. But since one has dementia, anything goes! I wouldn't bother correcting her - just frustrating for both of you. You just have to let it go and give a generic response.

I've had to try to get my sister to understand that the conversation with our mom (mild cognitive decline) is going to be, IMHO, boring and repetitive and sometimes filled with strange statements and confabulations. It's just the way it is.
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I agree with the “go with it” suggested in previous posts.

It may may be a bit frustrating to you but I gotta say I think it’s kinda sweet and charming. But then again my perspective is colored by the fact that I got to listen to my mom completely whitewash and reinvent every nasty thing she ever did - many to my brothers, my father and
myself - often painting herself as
the innocent angel and another family member perpetuating what she in fact, had done. Now that’s frustrating!
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Ahmijoy Sep 2019
Exactly, Rainmom! I remember taking my mom out for what I’d hoped would be a nice lunch. She was already living in the past and I don’t think she even realized I was there. At one point she began speaking of a lost love of her’s. Now, I adored my father. Still miss him. But Mom obsessed about this man who “got away”. She went so far, during the lunch, to say, “I wish I’d married ———.” She may as well have backhanded me across the face and knocked me off the chair. When I protested that if she had married ———, I wouldn’t be here, she said, “Oh, you would but in another way.” I truly felt like walking out and leaving her there.
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My mother was a famous stage actress in New York City and I was her co-star. Her red winter coat was a satin cape that she wore on stage for many of her roles and it was her signature costume piece. Her room in the nursing home was an apartment in Chicago. I never tried to dissuade her from any of her delusions or prove to her that she was wrong. It was pointless and if she found some sort of peace and enjoyment in those, I wouldn’t burst her bubble. What would be the point? At one point she had been an actress who was on stage in a small community theatre. I know that performing had been a dream of hers, a dream not realized when she married and had me. In a way, I was glad she finally got to be what she’d always wanted to be.
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ArtistDaughter Sep 2019
I love this. Many years ago I would visit an assisted living facility with a friend who performed for the residents. One lady would sing along and told us after the performance that she was part of the uso with Bob Hope, that she sang and danced. She talked on and on about her experiences overseas, what songs she sang, and how much fun it was. It was real to her and we believed her. At her funeral we learned from her family that she had actually never left the town she was born in and had worked as a secretary in her adult life, never performed in any way at all.
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I would not bother to correct her.
Listen to the stories, ask questions and enjoy your chat.
If you continue to correct her she may feel bad and stop telling stories, or even talking completely for fear that she may make a mistake.
You might even find out new things that you did not know. And a story about you with a different perspective might be enlightening.
And if she thinks she was in a movie..ask her about it.
As long as none of this frightens her go with the flow...
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It's about a brain not behaving in the way ours does. It's about dementia. If you read a lot of what Oliver Sacks wrote (studied the brain all his life) then you will come up with some absolutely fascinating stories of how our brains work. For your Mom this is how she sees the world. My bro can describe how he sees his world so differently from how he used to, from the norm, and it is fascinating. Progressing on, it won't be. Toward the end of his life Sacks wrote a LOT of essays on dementia. Look up his writings. They will fascinate you, and lead to some more fascination with how your Mom's brain works for her now, and less frustration. When my bro has "Lewy's" hallucinations he can see an entire pool party out his window and could describe every person there. "Tan guy about 5 foot 11 inches, white shorts from the 40s. White town around his neck. Kind of Elvis hair, dark black and shiny with some kind of oil. Carrying drink in tall glass. And so on". Our brains are amazing. Think about your DREAMS. Keep a dream journal and you will begin to remember the dreams and you will see how that life is crazy different from your waking hours.
I am absolutely fascinated with our brains and how they work. When not frustrated, that is.
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