Mom with dementia won't wear underwear or depends and has frequent accidents both #1 & #2. How do I get her to put on underwear?

Yes, we are far beyond pretty panties being enticing for her, but thank you for your input. I really do wish it were that simple. She is at the stage of not caring for her appearance. She wears soiled clothing and won't shower unless I tell her she has a doctor's appointment or Zoom meeting with family. It is a constant battle with her. anything to do with basic hygiene is a fight. As it is a struggle to get her to even wear undergarments, I'm not sure how I would handle anything else on top of it. When she had a colostomy bag, she would rip those off, even with extra things in place to prevent it. She would peel the tape and everything and off it went! Thank goodness she had it surgically reversed. I guess I am wondering if anyone else went through similar issues and get a bunch of ideas to try out and implement. She still has excessive pride, which is so confusing because why would one refuse to wear protective underware due to pride but not be mortified of the many many times she has soiled herself and made such a mess due to not wearing underware?

I would suggest finding some underwear (or equivalent) that is visually appealing to your mother (a pretty animal, colorful birds, or whatever makes such items desirable enough to want to wear ALL the time...).
Who knows, if she treasures the images sufficiently (even to the point of personifying the association), she may feel protective and not wish to soil them.
If you could promote this 'relationship' concept, it could prove doubly helpful for you too...

It's unacceptable for your mother to live in your home and have 'accidents' of this nature b/c she refuses to wear the appropriate undergarments. She needs to either be placed in a Memory Care Assisted Living Facility, or, you need to have her wear an Alzheimer's anti-strip jumpsuit that she cannot remove. Under the jumpsuit she'll wear a Depends, period. Feces is a biological hazard and you cannot and should not be having to clean it up from the home all day long, especially when you are caring for young children in the house! You have a responsibility to those children you sit for to keep your home clean & hygienic.

Mother doesn't have a choice any longer if she wants to stay with you; these are the house rules. If she becomes comfortable wearing the jumpsuit and the Depends, you may be able to get rid of the jumpsuit and segue back into street clothes one day, who knows? The other end of the bargain is she gets changed REGULARLY. That's not open for discussion either. So she either goes along with the rules or she gets placed. There's no 'reasoning' with dementia, and she can cry all she wants to, but she's going to be dressed in a new jumpsuit every morning and that's that. You should also speak to her PCP about possible medication to calm her; she may be suffering agitation and a mild sedative may help make her more compliant.

Here is a link to the anti-strip jumpsuits page on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=alzheimers+jumpsuit&crid=15I8XKJFC340Z&sprefix=alzheimers+jum%2Caps%2C199&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_1_14

Wishing you the best of luck laying down some new rules at home!!!