Mom refuses to get help. What do I do?

Try APS; it's worth a shot. Or if you take her to the doctor and have them evaluate her. (I'm thinking APS might be better, if mom can "fake" being of sound mind, however.)
Good luck!

APS sounds like a good idea, if for nothing else, it will put your mother's situation on record. You describe addiction issues, mental instability. If you can mention these things it might help. Good luck.

This is so sad, especially that she won't accept any help. I think I would call APS, too, but I'm not sure that will help if she won't let them in.

you could call your local Adult Protective Services, and ask them to do a welfare check, and an assessment of her ability to live alone.
for the issues you have with feeling your life is on hold---I'm right there with you, had a horrible day with my mom, dealing with her doctors & her pain....all the while, one of my jaws is throbbing from a bad toothace. I can't manage to get my own needs addressed because I am so "put-upon" to take care of her stuff.