My mother is living with my sister in Texas. Mom is currently receiving in home hospice care. Per my sister she is expected to pass within 6 months. I'm out of state so I've been video calling Mom. She has advanced dementia and cannot speak well. She also cannot feed herself or walk much. Sadly, mom, when she was healthy, let me and my sister know she had no will and had no intentions of planning for her death. So now we're stuck with access to only one of her bank accounts (she gave me her sign on when she realized she was declining) with very little money to pay her bills. I've been handling her bills, but I have not paid any of the medical bills because I simply can't. My sister, who Mom always told me is grabby and after her money, told me the case worker helped her put together a general POA. I asked how if mom can't even write. Sis told me she can write when she is in the mood and that Mom had improved so much that they even have good conversations. She asked me for my address for the POA and told me the papers will be ready Monday, that all she needs is a doctor's note. She plans to go to the bank and get access to her accounts. I asked her if it's indeed a general POA and if I were on it so I could finally sort through her medical bills. She then told me that it was a medical POA. I am not well versed in all the legalities of a POA, but I don't think a medical POA will grant access to bank accounts. Also, I'm worried because I don't know what my sister is trying to accomplish. She is not being forthright and has a history of being a liar. When mom started declining several years back she made some kind of arrangements with a brokerage account and she told me that she told the manager of it not to allow my sister access. My sister now keeps asking me for the pin to get into Mom's account, which I had written down somewhere, but lost. Mom would call me from Texas before she turned for the worse and told me that sis had a will she had prepared for her that she didn't sign, but that she was going to file it with the court. I am at a loss and I hate being in a position like this especially when mom is going to pass soon. I'd like to reach out to her case worker or someone who can give me updates on her health that I can believe. More than anything, my children want to see her one last time and I would like to plan it after school when we have more time. Do I have any legal rights to speak to case workers about Mom's condition and what kind of documents they're signing off on? I'm guessing maybe the doctor signed off on a DNR. I can't imagine anyone would approve a POA signed by someone with advanced dementia.
If you have a lot of concerns and questions I really think you need now to consider a trip to be there. Get your vaccine if you are able, take a leave or whatever you need to do, and go and help your Sister get things in order. There is no way for us to know what is happening for sure, if you yourself don't know.
I sure do wish you good luck. Your sister is in care of your mother, and lives there and it is normal that she would be the one assigned in most cases.
It's time for you and your sister to work together in Mom's behalf, to go through her papers and find out what she has and where. To get things together, to get a Lawyer to help if this is an "estate" of any size at all. A social worker will be invaluable help. You need to work together, and if the two of you cannot do this, or one of you or both REFUSE to do it, then sadly, as the sibling out of state, you are really going both to be in the dark quite literally, and I cannot imagine what would help in this situation where a mother is now incompetent and has refused to act prior to this. I cannot imagine how you are paying bills as just having some access that isn't legal. How are the checks being signed, as a starting point?
Work with your sister. The two of you need to get together and get a lawyer now. If, however, you find that Mom has no real assets, there is little to worry about. Blood can't come from a turnip.
I cannot afford the thousands of dollars it takes to pursue a guardianship. I was getting ready to call APS to hand her over when my sister came and took her.
I tried to talk to my sister today and it didn't go well at all. I told her I was confused about the POA since mom is incompetent, and sis said the case worker is very nice and she's getting us what we need. I still don't know what it is she's getting us and I told her that. It infuriated her and she asked me if I thought the people helping her are liars. I told her no, but I want to understand what paperwork they are putting together and she said she didn't know, but it's going to help us. Mind you, my sister is a lawyer and she has made claims that she writes wills for people. So I told her I will hold off paying her bills until I know what is going on and that infuriated her.
It's possible your sister is coming to the same realization as you: that not much can be done to help your mom without the legal means to do it, so she may be working with the caseworker to get done what she can in order to better manage your mom's affairs.
Banks are usually very strict and often require an in-person visit by the LO and their legally designated financial PoA WITH the original of that document and often requiring you both to sign their own PoA paperwork.
If your mom has only humble financial means, one of you can apply for Medicaid for her, You don't need to be a financial or medical PoA to do this for someone. There is a financial "look-back" period on the app, so hopefully whoever has been managing her affairs hasn't done anything that can be interpreted as gifting money to or from her. If she qualifies, Medicaid will retroactively cover medical expenses 3 months prior to the qualification date. Documenting medical bills and expenses are part of the app process.
Being on hospice doesn't automatically mean one is actively dying. Sometimes it's just a means to get more/better/different care attention. My MIL was on hospice for 4 months when she had covid. She's not off and back to normal at her LTC facility. And the time-line quoted to you is only a guess. I'm sorry your relationship with your sister is fraught with baggage, but for your mom's sake I hope it can be worked through together. May you gain peace in your hearts.
Typically when Hospice is involved they want to know who the POA is but many people do not have a POA for health and or financial decisions.
I would be suspect of anyone trying to push through a POA.
At to getting medical information on your mom if you have been listed on her HIPAA forms as one that can get information then they can answer any question you have and keep you updated. IF you are not listed they legally can not give you any information.
Your sister could file papers to obtain Guardianship of mom. Guardianship would take precedence over a POA. You could also file for Guardianship. (The result would probably be a nasty court battle)
What "case worker" is putting together these papers? If it is someone from Hospice I would question that and probably even call the Hospice and ask to talk with the Team Manager or the worker him or her self. Hospice has Social Workers but I would doubt seriously if they would put together paperwork like you are describing it would not be ethical and they would be at risk of loosing their license.