She had dinner and now refuses to take night meds or to get up and go to her bedroom. She is sitting in the dark with TV turned off by herself refusing to cooperate. Help, please.
If Mom won’t go to bed , shower etc when you TELL her it is time ( not ask her ) then it’s time to place her in a facility . My mother would not listen either . She had had a stroke followed by dementia. The doctor told me Mom was not going to listen to her daughter . It’s not uncommon for elderly with dementia to refuse help , instructions etc from their adult child . The doctor said when that happens they have to be cared for by staff in a facility. It is too disruptive to have Mom in your home. It’s also not good for either of you to be living together and both getting stressed . Mom living with you too stressful , as well as Mom getting upset with you for not liking you telling her what to do . Good Luck .
First I have to say that someone that has been abused in any way from a parent should NEVER take on the responsibility of their hands on care. (your siblings have it right!) Now that doesn't mean that once they're placed in the appropriate facility that you still can't be their advocate if you so choose, but taking on the stress of not only caregiving but also the added stress of reliving your past while doing it and jeopardizing your own health for them is a recipe for disaster. I'm sure that you don't want to be in the statistic of 40% of the caregivers caring for someone with dementia will die before the one they're caring for from stress related issues, so time to rethink your decision and time for plan B(in other words placement.) Please make yourself and your health your number one priority before it's too late.
"Daughter caring for her Mother, with dementia, and Father in my home. No help from my brother or sister who won’t help because of childhood and adulthood abuse. I struggle to let go of the emotional abuse from the past and present so to give them the care they need. I have two chronic illnesses including lupus. I’m trying to keep up though at times I wonder for how long I can do this. see less"
A sudden change in mental status in an elder may be caused by a Urinary Tract Infection.
Call her doctor in the morning and ask for how to get her tested. Or, if her insurance has a nurse line, call them.
My mother would not listen either . She had had a stroke followed by dementia. The doctor told me Mom was not going to listen to her daughter . It’s not uncommon for elderly with dementia to refuse help , instructions etc from their adult child . The doctor said when that happens they have to be cared for by staff in a facility. It is too disruptive to have Mom in your home. It’s also not good for either of you to be living together and both getting stressed . Mom living with you too stressful , as well as Mom getting upset with you for not liking you telling her what to do .
Good Luck .
Now that doesn't mean that once they're placed in the appropriate facility that you still can't be their advocate if you so choose, but taking on the stress of not only caregiving but also the added stress of reliving your past while doing it and jeopardizing your own health for them is a recipe for disaster.
I'm sure that you don't want to be in the statistic of 40% of the caregivers caring for someone with dementia will die before the one they're caring for from stress related issues, so time to rethink your decision and time for plan B(in other words placement.)
Please make yourself and your health your number one priority before it's too late.
"Daughter caring for her Mother, with dementia, and Father in my home. No help from my brother or sister who won’t help because of childhood and adulthood abuse. I struggle to let go of the emotional abuse from the past and present so to give them the care they need. I have two chronic illnesses including lupus. I’m trying to keep up though at times I wonder for how long I can do this. see less"
A sudden change in mental status in an elder may be caused by a Urinary Tract Infection.
Call her doctor in the morning and ask for how to get her tested. Or, if her insurance has a nurse line, call them.
Your Mom may be too tired to think & no is such a short easy word to say.
Just wheel her to her bedroom & help get her nightclothes on.