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My husband and I recently went out on a Sat. night and left Mom (79 with memory loss) at home with the four kids and a high school sitter. Before we even left, Mom had grabbed the money for the chinese food and we had to get it back so the delivery man could be paid. When I was ordering the food, she kept interupting me to not order too much. Well, we left, the food came, and she refused to let the sitter or the kids take their own food. She spooned it out. We got home a few hours later, she was asleep and the kids were all up - starving because grandma would not let them eat their dinner. We gave them snacks and put them to bed. All day Sunday all I heard was that I ordered too much food - look at the leftovers. We all laughed very hard: she was the only one who ate!

I try to find the humor - remembering that many of the events are funny if you can only take a step or two back from the reality. I found a lot of stories funny when my husband's grandparents were aging - my mother-in-law, their caretaker, does not remember most of them. She was too busy to laugh! Now we tell her and even though she was there, says she was sorry she missed it.
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Mitzi,
Unfortunately, (or fortunately) my Dad passed on quite a few years ago, or I might have now asked him much about the president! Glad you enjoyed the stories. Last night at our support group, a new fella (he's not quite getting what his Mom is going thru yet with dementia) told the story of when he picked up his Mom to take her to lunch. Took them a while to find her purse....they were all set....he turned around to get her coat in the closet.....then back around to put it on her, and bingo.....the purse was gone again! So funny, and I know we've all gone thru similar....
Still trying to also figure out why they always want to go home, when they are already living in the house they've lived in most of their life.....must be their childhood home they're thinking of I guess.....any ideas?
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Anne, you really are an angel, I read your posts and am inspired. I am learning to be more patient, and understanding for my Dad. I try harder to find the humor in things, now that I am more exposed to his quirks by having him live with me. I'm trying not to make sense of them, because you can't make sense of something that doesn't make sense. Does that make sense? LOL Naus
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Thank you for that poignant and realistic view of life with the aging. We laugh with the residents at Dad's nursing home, as they come up with the funniest things sometimes. It is good to keep lighthearted and smile and "go along" with some of the things they say and do. I laugh every time I change the date on their calendar. It reads: "Today is ________, with the date. The weather is ________, the next holiday is: _________________. I tell them that Activities needs help, and I help myself to the supply closet and change the day and date for them some days, saying, "I get confused easily, so need to do this..." (Imagine how those with dementia and Alzheimer's feel when the dates haven't been changed to reflect the appropriate day!) On second thought, they may not know or care. LOL I am tempted to say the next holiday is: April Fools Day, because we're always joking about the full moon affecting the residents.

I've watched my Dad walk through closed doors into ladies' rooms, spin circles in the hallway, not knowing which direction to go, people in wheelchairs come right in to Dad's room all times of the day and night, and see people just lie down in someone else's bed there. It is laughable at times! I think staff used the tool of "redirection" more than any other. My Dad has been more talkative lately, but with Advanced Stage Alzheimer's Disease, the things he says rarely make sense. His wife is married to his brother, and so's his daughter. (Not really, but that's what he says.) We just smile, nod and go on. He can no longer say my name, so I tell him, "I'm your favorite firstborn!" It brings a smile, but I assure him, "Don't worry, Dad, I still remember my name." I love my Dad, and have come to accept him where he is. And through the process, have come to accept myself, and also tell him, "I'm your fabulous firstborn!" I'm just happy to spend time with Dad no matter what his condition is!
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This is an excerpt from my book, Living and Dying With Dignity: A daughter's journey through LTC

Bill, another resident, was quite out of it and seemed preoccupied. I didn’t know why he wasn’t in the dining room with the rest of the residents. The dull routine of their days was punctuated by their three meals. Bill was standing in the middle of the hall with his pajamas and his adult diaper around his ankles, drooling and disoriented. His family jewels were sparkling in the light for all to see. It was rather a shock. Two PSW staff spotted him. They gently asked him what was wrong and took care of him. They thought he’d tried to change his diaper on his own in his room and was unsuccessful. They were so loving and kind. Nothing shocked me anymore, even a strange, naked man with the evidence of his gender for all to see. Off I went for home for some wine and some dinner and my “normal” husband.
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I have always good feelings reading such stories... The best thing is that they're full of love and care... Thank you all.
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mitzi, I tried to comeback with something, but I was speechless. Usually when I say something back, he looks at me puzzled, and shakes his head, like I'm the one with dementia. LOL naus
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Char that is so cute. Question with your father, has he received any personal messages yet from the president? Or ask him, you aren't retired secret service are you? :)

Nauseated... you know you're going to have to think of a comeback for that statement don't you? LOL
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I'm not sure if anyone will find this funny or not. I have been changing my Dad's bed sheets quite frequently lately. The other day, he said "you don't have to go in there." (meaning his room) I looked at him puzzled, and he said "they are clean and warm." I said, "What is clean and warm?" He said, "My bed is." I said, "If they are warm, are you sure they are clean?" He leaves me a note on his bed, when they are clean still that says, "Don't change me, I am clean and warm, not wet." Nauseated
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What a great idea....finding the humor in old age and sharing it! A few years ago, my Mom was in a nursing home with Alzheimers. When we would visit, I was never certain if she'd still know me or not, so always started with "Mom, do you know who I am?" She once answered, "Don't you know who you are?" We've giggled about that one for years. I know have my 88 yr. old sister living with us who has dementia (I think, as she doesn't believe in doctors) She has a "quick tongue" also, so will probably have many one liners coming from her mouth. She always has quick "come-backs" already! Of course my father thought that the president was talking to him thru the TV also....that seems to be very popular.
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I read this recently and wanted to share: "Friends are God's way of apologizing for families"
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A merry heart doeth good like a medicine...

How to Exercise if you're over 40:

1). Start by finding a comfortable surface to stand on. Make sure you have enough room to raise your arms out beside you. Take a 5 pound potato sack with each hand, and lift your arms straight out beside you, holding them as long as you can. Try to reach a minute, then relax. You should be able to hold this position a little longer each day.

2). Move up to 10 pound potato sacks after about two weeks.

3). Within the month, you should try to graduate to 25 pound potato sacks. Eventually, you should try to push yourself to lift 50 pound, then 100 pound potato sacks in both hands, holding your arms straight out for more than a minute at a time. (This is my level.)

4). When you have reached this extraordinary level, try adding a potato to each sack!

lol and keep on laughing...it works the tummy muscles!
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I have been doing presentations at caregiver support groups. If they exist in your area - please go! I wish I had thought to find one when I was a caregiver. We laugh. We cry. It is very comforting.
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Thank you all for the laughs- I encourage my friends to send jokes on the computer and it does lighten the load.
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My 93 year old mother lives with me. One morning @ the breakfast table she asked, "Where is your mother?" I hugged her and said, "My mother is right here, you're my mother!" She then looked up @ me and said, " I think you need to figure out just who you are today!" Unfortunately, she no longer remembers that I am her daughter. On a good day, she CAN remember my name though
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thank you, I feel better now
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Where have all the funny Care Givers gone? :( I need a good laugh!
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Funny!
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Grandpa couldn't understand why, as his wife fell deeper into dementia, his clothes did not get washed. He had put them in the hamper.
One day, Before we moved in to help, we were trying to get them out the door early for a doctor's appointment and Grandma had no underwear. Where were they all? In the hamper.
She would empty the hamper as she did everyday...but where?
So I found some undies and washed them in the sink. They had no drier, so I turned on the oven and spread them out on the rack...and handed Grandma underwear with grill lines toasted into them. I really expected her to put up a fuss, but she just looked at me funny and put them on...her head.
They were such loving and wonderful people. I remember them always fondly and with good humor.
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Thank you for the humor you're sharing, ladies (and gentlemen?). Since this thread started, I've been searching for something funny to add. Either my perspective is skewed, or there really is not much funny happening.

I've tried repeating limericks and silly sayings back to my Dad that his Dad taught him, and he taught us as a child, such as:

Dad: Do you think the rain will hurt the rhubarb?
Us: Not if it's in cans.
Dad: What if it rains can openers?
Us: Open a hardware.
Dad: What if they don't sell?
Us: But that's not the problem.
Dad: What is the problem?
Us: Do you think the rhubarb?
Dad: Not it it's in cans... (You get the idea...)

Or: The lady in the river had a sliver in her liver. Did she shiver? I'll say she did!

These silly verses don't seem to produce the same delight for him or us as they once did O so long ago. Heard enough, they rate right up there with Knock Knock jokes or "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly... Groan. But my eight year old is learning them, and will probably pass them on to yet another generation.

Mom and Dad used to go out to eat and play Euchre with another couple once a month, and every New Years. Mom started reporting that Dad's started making up new rules, and demanding other "follow suit" (ha ha). They were alarmed, at first, but went along. As Dad's Alzheimer's advanced, we began looking for additional ways to "connect" with him. Sure enough, he demanded we play according to his "new" plan. It made for interesting games at times, with knowing glances back and forth amongst ourselves. We had to fight hard to hold back our amazement and laughter at some of his "rules." At first, we tried correcting him, telling him, "You can't play a club on a heart!" But realizing he didn't remember how to play, and couldn't play as before, we just went along the best we could. It was humorous at times. We decided it didn't matter how we played the game. (Just being together scores higher!)

Today, he is bedridden, and watches our moves and faces as we play. He can no understand jokes, and can no longer participate in simple puzzles or checkers, but intently watches everything we do. When close enough, he still reaches out to tickle his grandson. It's not as fun without him playing, but better than sitting there continually asking, "So, how are you today?" (or trying to make up conversation). I think he enjoys just having us around
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The other day after lunch and while I was getting ready for work. My husband burped and then Grandma says "Well, I can burp anytime without any effort," and then they started to have a burping contest.

One more...
I got the wrong diapers. I get the pull-up kind. Well, after a couple of days of grandma using the wrong kind she calls me in the bathroom and says "Missy, I can't figure out how to use these diapers." I told Grandma that I was sorry, and I wasn't paying attention when I got them.
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Recently my father, who suffers from Parkinson's and some times sees things that are not there, called my brother into the bathroom to show him that there was "water all over the floor." When my brother replied, "Dad, I don't see any water on the floor."
My father replied, "If you had Parkinson's, you could see it." We all got a good belly laugh out of that one.
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The other day Mom and I went to eat at a local Cafeteria style resturant. She knew she wanted fish which she saw and asked for, and they promptly served her a nice looking piece. We moved on to the veggies, and I could tell she was panicking, trying to decide which ones. Seeing there was a growing line behind us, I looked at what was there and said, Do you want green beans, mashed potatoes, cabbage, okra, carrots or macaroni and cheese? I looked over at Mom and she was reaching for dishes that were being handed to her. Seems I must have been speaking too loudly (mom is hard of hearing), and the lady behind the counter was serving everything I had just said!
Mom took them and then complained that I ordered her too much food!
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joalhenry, I'm thinking the you need to mail that Mr. Rogers teddy bear to your mother. With his return address. Now that would be funny!
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I see all this as a continuum. Pediatrics and geriatrics. We played dress up and house with our kids. We play pretend and invent invisible friends. All is good.

I remember visiting my dad after a cal for help form the retirement home. They presented him with his Rx., pants, eye glasses, shirt, breakfast and would have none of it.

"It's not mine. Nothing to do with me!" he said. We have laughed about that for months. At that point I wondered why I was so worried about having him take his Rx or eat. What is the difference? Why fight it?

He was dying of a brain tumour. That is the part of Living and Dying With Dignity, that I wrote about.

Good thread.
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This is exactly the kind of thing I am talking about. It is devastating to see the mental decline of our parents or a loved one, but you just can't make up this kind of thing. Please keep the stories coming. Be descriptive with detail (you may leave out the best part)!!

Here's one of my dad... the day we decided he can't go out shopping in public anymore.

Dad has always been and will be the provider for his family. He is from the old Greek school, and providing for his wife and daughter is mandatory. He also loves to help people. Manners great... in his decline... no so great.

One day my husband and I took him to the grocery store. He was putsying (remember Mr. Wiggins in Carol Burnett?) through the store and turning around with everything like a child "Do we need this?" Yes or no would be our reply. Then he hit the dairy aisle. He was standing in front of the butter display admiring all the different butter. Totally amazed at how many kinds he could have. We are viewing this from a short distance mind you. This female customer (in a hurry) is trying to get around my father to get butter. My dad says, "Oh I'll get it for you which do you want?" and proceeds to step in her way not once, but many times in the course of this purchase. She replies, "No I have it." and points to right there. She tries to side step him to reach for the butter herself and my dad moves in her way again.

Now... moving slower than a snail I wonder how he managed to get in her way about 30 times? She started getting ticked, and I said, "Dad, its okay she can get her own butter." What seems like an eternity was probably only minutes... and he got a little upset with me for daring to stand in the way of his chivalry. It was like a dance watching the whole thing really. She would move, he'd shift with her. She would reach, he would block. She looked back at my husband and I with a WTF look and we just shrugged our shoulders looking about as dumb-founded as could be and replied, "Its just easier if you let him."

FINALLY... the dance was over. She got her butter, dad had helped a woman and my husband and I were embarrassed to the hilt. Its a story we can laugh at now every time we walk by butter, but it was that day we vowed the shopping was over. No more dancing at grocery stores!
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I did find something!! Once a long time ago probably in the 80's my best friend John was taking care of his elderly father. I went over on Thanksgiving for a visit and stopped by pops room first he said girl get in this boat and help me catch these crabs, we were from the Chesapeak Bay area of MD. At first I didn't know what to do it caught me off guard. So I just didn't think about it I hopped in bed with him and pretended we were pulling in those lucious blue crabs and 15 min later we had four bushels of the biggest blue crabs you could ever want, he was so happy he laid down and went to sleep. I came out and told John what we had done and he laughed so hard. Thats why he was my best friend he laughed. There aren't many people in my life that laugh any more today I am very depressed, economy, can afford my meds or much anything else, mother doesn't understand she is taking to watching cartoons now, I expect to find her on the living room floor in front of them one day with her coloring book and crayons Go for it Mom. I am just a mess No one seems to notice I just want to dissolve away. But that was pretty funny shame we couldn't have steamed some of them and ate them Oh how I would love some steamed MD crabs we have since moved to another state and no such animal around here. too far to travel just for steamed crabs. But hope you all got a chuckle, have a good one Neon
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Wow is this great!!! My husband (who is 100% bedridden) has been seeing things that aren't there for about 4 years and it drives me nuts. Especially when he wants me to help him with something I can't see. I have asked the doctor and nurses and health pros what is this dementia? How can people see things that aren't there? No one has an answer. Like he sees water all over the bottom of the bed and he has a pet cat and sables (who poop all over) and a man with pink hair and on and on. Lately when he asks me what to do with some invisible "thing," I tell him to put it down on the right side of the bed and I will take care of it later. But the responses above, treating the whole deal with humor are so wonderful. Taking the seriousness and concern out of these situations and turning them by a change in attitude into something manageable, and funny or possibly humorous which both people can laugh at or at least not be up tight about. Just a ripple of humor instead of a stone of pain.

thanks
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I loved all your stories. Laughter really is good medicine. My story is about my Dad. He is 80 years old has diabetes, heart and breathing problems. He falls asleep at the drop of a hat. The other day I walked into the livingroom and found him asleep in his chair with his hand hanging down to the floor. I gently woke him up and asked what he was doing. He said, "I'm petting the dog." The dog was in the kitchen eating.
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This laugh place is great we all need it every day-bless you all
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