Well, “guilty” means you did a naughty thing, and of course you didn’t! What, precisely, would have been your other option? Setting up a museum with all your parents’ old stuff? Preserving it for posterity?
When old people die, leaving a houseful of things, this is what you do:
1) You and your siblings fight over the valuable items, like good antiques, artwork of value, and the silver. You may need to call in an appraiser for this part, to divide it all fairly.
2) You have a tag sale for the rest of it, the stuff not even Goodwill wants. You’d be surprised what junk browsers will buy!
3) What remains unsold after the tag sale, you put in a dumpster.
You'd be surprised at the money we "junk browsers" make at tag sales where people are selling loved ones possessions they want to be rid of but have no idea of their value! 😊
I think it is normal, although I’m not a fan of the word “guilt” as I know logically there is no reason for me to feel guilt. Having said that I did feel guilt/grief/sadness/betrayal distributing my husband’s stuff and selling our house when I was about to marry again. I asked his friends to choose things that were meaningful and they did. I knew I would certainly never ever forget him.
Cleaning out my mother’s house I feel more frustration than anything. How did the previous generation get talked into acquiring so much stuff? Everyday dishes, everyday cutlery, everyday cups and glasses and mugs, luncheon china, dinner china, silverware, crystal... figurine collections... It seems such a waste. I resent being made out to be horrible because I don’t want to get rid of all my junk to make room for her vastly superior and clearly more tasteful belongings. <a sarcasm font would be handy here>
My daughter feels just as you do! But as a practical person, and as a professional appraiser, she has already told me exactly what she will keep, and what she will sell when I expire. I have told her she can put it all on eBay for all I care…I won’t be around to care!
Yup, certainly in the normal range. Hopefully, it's not too too bad. It's got to be done so we have to "put on our big girl panties" and do things like this even when they're uncomfortable.
I was tasked with this after both my parents died. I cleaned out my mother’s belongings first, and then my dad’s a number of years later, then sold their home. It brought a sadness to see it all go, along with a little guilt over a few items that I knew were precious to them but not wanted by anyone in the family. It also brought relief to see a chapter close after some really hard years for them both. And it also brought hope, their belongings could be used by people who needed them, who could enjoy them anew. Their home could bring a new family times of happiness and memories just as it had for us. I guess it’s often in how you view it and shifting your thoughts is helpful. I wish you peace
When old people die, leaving a houseful of things, this is what you do:
1) You and your siblings fight over the valuable items, like good antiques, artwork of value, and the silver. You may need to call in an appraiser for this part, to divide it all fairly.
2) You have a tag sale for the rest of it, the stuff not even Goodwill wants. You’d be surprised what junk browsers will buy!
3) What remains unsold after the tag sale, you put in a dumpster.
Cleaning out my mother’s house I feel more frustration than anything. How did the previous generation get talked into acquiring so much stuff? Everyday dishes, everyday cutlery, everyday cups and glasses and mugs, luncheon china, dinner china, silverware, crystal... figurine collections... It seems such a waste. I resent being made out to be horrible because I don’t want to get rid of all my junk to make room for her vastly superior and clearly more tasteful belongings. <a sarcasm font would be handy here>
Good luck.