Is asking for a gratuity appropriate at a Senior Living establishment?

I do not agree with this at all.  You pay a monthly fee for this service.  There is no reason to tip a monetary amount to anyone and I find it rude to ask.  The whole tip entitlement has gone too far. 
Do I tip my doctor or dentist when I go in...no, absolutely not.  Do I tip the cashier at the grocery store for ringing up my food.  Heavens no.    Do I tip the FedEx man every time he delivers a package...no.   They are paid to do these things.   It is their job.

If your mother would like to give a small gift to her favorite caregiver as a thank you...sure, but there is no reason for monetary gifts and I for one believe the facility is out of line.  If they want their housekeeping staff to have extra money at Christmas time, as an employer, they should give a Christmas bonus, not bother the residents to do it for them.

In most of these places, they dont allow residents to give individual monetary tips to their favorite providers. So they suggest a shared tip to be distributed equally among the staff, excluding management and nurses. If you want to give, you give. If not, not. My mother HAS to find out what others are giving before she decides if and how much to tip. Little does she know I always write a nice check every year just to say Thank you for putting up with my mother's special brand of BS.
A letter goes out after the new year letting us know how much was raised and how much each employee received. No names are mentioned

If you can afford $10, then do so. I know that housekeepers don't make much money (at least, when I worked in Housekeeping and Janitorial jobs many moons ago.) and getting a little extra is always nice to have at Christmastime. I don't think that you have to contribute every single month, I would think that this establishment would be rather understanding of fixed incomes.

At a minimum, you should get an account of how much is collected and how much goes to each staff member. Otherwise $10 for each month residence is simply an increase in the fees, with no idea who pockets it.

I always brought treats and such to my moms rehab, and my MILs ALZ home. I guess it never dawned on me to tip,, as I can not accept them where I work ( a hospital). But I was surprised to find out we were not allowed to give mom and dads home care workers gifts or tips.. and lets face it,, they are more known to us and such. We did always give our "gal" a gift.. just "under the table" . I see nothing wrong with this if you can afford it

I believe that this is also done at my MIL's retirement community but it is entirely voluntary and they do not request a specific amount. I feel it would be cruel to request a specific amount. Many residents of these communities live month to month. And their monthly rent is exorbitant as it is. Give what you can. If $120.00 is doable, then do it. If not, give what you can

What is happening, I find, that "tips" seem to be an entitlement now. We r good tippers but if the service is bad, the tip is less. Its up to the person receiving the services to determine the amt of a gratuity. At my Moms AL the cleaning was not all that great. Another residents daughter actually brought in a sweeper to do her Moms room.

Your Mom pays for cleaning in her AL as part of her rent. I think its wrong for a facility to request a certain amt for a gratuity or even give an idea unless asked. Maybe a note saying "during the upcoming Holidays please remember ur housekeeping staff" period. My husband is very generous until someone tells him what "they" feel should be given.

My question is, why not the whole staff. CNAs do a lot more than housekeeping. There is the kitchen staff. Maintenance man. And I bet these people work just as hard or harder than housekeeping. No one can force u to pay a gratuity. Its volunteer. Is Moms housekeeper the same one all the time. If so, I would rather hand an envelope directly to her. I don't like throwing tips into one pot. Because, there r people who do a good job and those who don't.

I would look at it as a suggestion and give what you feel is appropriate. Do they clean very well or so so. If they don't like it Oh Well.

My mom's private pay memory care facility asks for a donation for the holiday fund each year - they do not suggest an amount

it is an investor owned facility and they host a holiday party for staff with door prizes and I believe the funds raised from the families go to cash bonuses to all staff including nurses

although I give to the fund, I also regularly bring in treats for staff including housekeeping and kitchen because I see how hard these folks work

At my mom's Independent Living Facility, there was a letter asking for a certain amount to be distributed to the staff at the end of the year holidays.

This seemed to us to be a better way of doing things that individual "tipping" of employees; those who did and did not participate were not identified (although clearly management knew) so it prevented employees from comparing what residents gave to whom. Seemed fairer all around.

At the NH, staff was prohibited from taking gifts in any form and so we simply brought LOTS of treats all year long.

If she is getting good service, I wouldn't hesitate to contribute, it is not a fortune and most of the staff in these places are underpaid in the first place.

I would participate. They aren’t soliciting tips, they are asking the residents to pitch in & give the staff that cleans up after them a holiday thank you. Nothing wrong with that in my book. As far as already paying fees.....nonsense! Many of us who employ a housekeeper or a gardener give them a little extra during the holidays. My husbands union takes up a collection every year to get the 2 janitors a nice gift card. What your mother’s facility is doing is no different. To me it’s a non-issue. I’d gladly contribute $10

Tips are usually from individuals TO individuals in a personal gift in my personal opinion. Excellent service by some individual earns an extra gift. Sadly, as in a restaurant, many who are behind the scenes doing prep and washing up don't get tips. So some places find a way around that, evening it out, in this manner. To my mind (old fashioned) it is wrong and I wouldn't participate. It has become a "fear based " thing in which people think their paid for services will be stinted if you they don't tip, and that, too, is wrong. I think it is the facility OWNERS who need to be providing extra thank-yous to deserving staff. So I would not participate. It is to my mind a way of bumping up fees you are already paying for when done in this manner. Imagine we will all have a different idea what's right here. Interesting question.