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You meet a new neighbor a few months ago and they are very nice. When they see you outside they always wave or sometimes stop and talk to you and vice-versa. You see them a few times a week. You went out for coffee a few times. You learn some things about them, like where they grew up. What they do for a living, etc.. They ask if you want to go to the shore this summer. You say maybe. You are not at all romantically interested, you just think they are a nice neighbor and new friend.



Then one day you see them driving by, wave and notice that their new car license plate has you first name on it! Your name is relatively short and very common. You ask the neighbor if the name on the plate has to do with you or someone else. They say it was just the plate they received; they did not apply for a personalized plate. It was just a coincidence.



What do you think of this situation? What would you do or say to the neighbor?

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Kat? Eva? It's just a random license plate.
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The only brand new car I have ever owned arrived with the name of BLL. It never occurred to me that half a dozen men living on my road might think I was stalking them.

Lisa, I suggest you play a new game of spotting cars that have a common personal name as part of their licence plate. Once you get to twenty perhaps you'll feel a little less anxious about this.
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So the plate is something like LIZ3985? lol

Based on the info you've given here, I wouldn't be suspicious of ulterior motives, especially when you've asked the question and been given an answer.
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lisatrevor May 2022
No, the plate is LISAXXXX (where X's are numbers).

I have taken all the replies in consideration. I'm not paranoid; I just think it's a weird coincidence. I think most reasonable people would at least think it is a bit odd.
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In the words of Rodney King. Can't we all just get along?
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PeggySue2020, my brother said that my father was going into assisted living but that has not happened. I don't know why. My brother has not said anything nor has my father. My guess is my father told my brother that he will not move.

My brother is still proving services to my father. I live where I do because my father is here and he needs my help on a regular basis. I'm on call 24/7.

I am going to now enjoy my life and I will devote my time to myself and to friends I choose and vice-versa.
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PeggySue2020 May 2022
Ok Lisa. The brother is paying for the aides, and whenever father feels he needs someone, he calls on you more or less to volunteer as the backup.

Please enjoy your life. I want that too for you, but frankly I believe you could use some feedback in a fully confidential setting about your reaction to a range of social interactions so that you do have more friends.
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pamzimmrrt, I have answered some of the questions asked. Don't make things up. I won't divulge everything because I want some privacy. What I did tell should give people a good view of what I am dealing with. Compared to many other people, my issues are trivial. Still, they are serious. I'm looking at being estranged from my family. I never thought that word would apply to me.
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PeggySue2020 May 2022
You have as much privacy as you want Lisa. No one knows anything about you other than, let’s see, report cards in a basement.

However, some specificity would be nice.

According to you, by the end of March, you agreed with brother that it was time to place dad. Before that, dad had aides paid for by brother. Are you now taking on what the aides did? Do you expect to be paid?
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I have to agree with everyone else. We are a Caregiver forum. I think you need help we cannot give. I really feel we are dealing with a young person. Maybe caring for Dad all these years has stunted your social maturity. I would think about getting a therapist that can help you learn how to deal with people.
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pamzimmrrt, I am right in the middle of a serious caregiving issue and with things related that affect my well-being. There is nothing wrong with trying to get perspective from others in this forum or elsewhere. My life is revolving around caregiving.

I have given up many years for my father and family at the exclusion of myself. I had countless opportunities for all kinds of things. My brother jumped at the chance to do his wonderful life things and I stayed with dad and made sure he was well taken care of. I don't regret it. I believe I have many more good years and I hope others reading this forum who have experienced something similar can take my positive message and go on with their life knowing that they're not alone and can make their remaining years their best years.
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pamzimmrrt May 2022
Then Lisa, post about your caregiving issues,, not your inablity to make friends, wanting to date your neighbor,, whatever. We all remember your posts about your brother and wealthy SIL who has horses,, Your great grades and whatnot. Your father who has a great life living with your brother and his caregivers. You never answer any questions that others have asked and that makes many of us wonder about things. Perhaps if you were more forthcoming about the caregiving issues we would be more positive towards you. I really do wish you blessing ahead. I think you need them
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Lisa, the running theme through all your threads from the beginning of your post history is that you feel disrespected, or slighted, or suspicious about what people are saying. The family’s neighbors are gossiping about you. The dad put you down in front of his agent. Now your own neighbor is naming his car after you, before you’ve had a date. You think someone is changing your post content.

I do think you need someone to talk to. Someone professional. That’s meant with no slight, but there’s a reason your perception constantly goes toward themes of slights or sneakiness or suspicion.
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lisatrevor May 2022
First of all, someone did change the title to my post! I never said "I would love your thoughts, etc.". It is a better worded title in my opinion but it's not in my words!

Secondly, most posts on this entire forum are about conflicts with others. This is a main reason the forum exists!

Thirdly, many people are abusive in all kinds of ways from slight to major. It's true. You know this for sure. It's not just me. There's also lots of people who would never for example belittle someone. There's lots of people who do. This is a fact.
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LisaTrevor, you asked what do we think of your situation. It does not matter what we think. It matters what you think. Some could honestly answer to you by saying: "IF YOU HAVE TO ASK......".

Are you "DATING" your neighbor? I ask because it appears you are being less than straightforward with him. Maybe even Coy, when you answer "maybe" to an invitation. It is obvious that you are uncomfortable, or wishing to proceed carefully.

How would you differentiate between dating and going for coffee with this neighbor? How do you think he sees it, as a developing friendship/dating is possible?

I don't think you need to get advice about this, because you are not a victim, yet.
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AlvaDeer May 2022
I love that word "coy". What a wonderful word.
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Who changed the title of my post? Those are not my words. Please change it back please. Thank you.
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AlvaDeer May 2022
The admins change titles to lessen confusion whenever they see fit.
Their own choices are unlimited, and they can, in fact, bump us, or any comment we make, right on off the page at their own will, and for whatever reason they choose.
Our choices are TWO.
1) stay
2) go
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Lol
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Lisa,
You DO run into odd situations at every turn, it would seem.
This one may be a good one for your facebook group. If you don't have one I suggest you open one. This is a caregiver forum.
That said, I would consider leaving your neighbor alone. A nice wave hello and goodbye as you come and go and run into him or her might be nice. I would say the same to your neighbor. Were he or she to ask.
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MargaretMcKen May 2022
Alva dear, please don’t suggest what she says when she ‘runs into him’. She might take it literally.
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Cleobird?
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Lisa Trevor, Real name or fictional makes no difference. Get a life, asking a question about a license plate on a caregiver forum is strange.
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Are you saying that your neighbor's license plate is LISA? Just that? No other letters or numbers?
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lisatrevor May 2022
No, Let's just say it's LISAXXXX (Where X is numbers). I would find it difficult to believe it was random.
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Sorry, I am lost. Isvit the screen name ur using or your real name. In my State the only time a name is used is if you get a special plate. Ours normally have 3 letters and numbers. A lot of people have the same letters because its the series the DMV is in at the time.

When selling a car, you take ur tags off and turn them into the DMV. They r issued to you and only you.
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Ever hear of the concept, "friendly not friends"?

It maybe smart to adopt that position. You can be polite, courteous and friendly from your side of the fence. If the neighbor keeps trying to push their way in, keep coming up with excuses to avoid them. Eventually they will get the hint and maybe new license plates!
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Of course the License plate is common and popular.
It's not even your real name.
BarbBrooklyn wrote:
Mar 23, 2022
"Lisa Trevor" is the name of a character in Resident Evil.

"Lisa Trevor is a character from the Resident Evil series of survival horror games. She is featured in the Resident Evil remake and Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles. Lisa was a human test subject forced to undergo a plethora of biological experiments conducted by the nefarious Umbrella Corporation."
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lisatrevor May 2022
That's fiction. Trevor is a real Welsh last name. Lisa is also a real, and common, first name but I don't know where it comes from, probably the Mediterranean region.
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In California:
21.245 Special License Plate Transfers (CVC §5110)
Special License Plates may remain on a vehicle being transferred if the license plate owner of record releases his/her priority and the *new owner wishes to retain the license plates.*
In addition to the usual transfer requirements shown in Chapter 11, the procedures must be followed:

A Special Interest License Plate Application (REG 17) form completed by the license plate owner of record with the transfer application showing the release of license plate priority.
A REG 17 completed by the ** new owner submitted with the transfer application showing they wish to apply for the license plate.**
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This has nothing at all to do with caregiving. Why would you post this scenario to a caregiver support forum?
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lealonnie1 May 2022
Good point.
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if it's just a regular license plate with your name plus a bunch of random numbers etc then it is definitely NOT about you and you should never mention it again.
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I would think the neigbor was telling you the truth. That his license plate was a random coincidence and has nothing to do with you or that he's obsessed with you. I'd let it go and say nothing further about the license plate to this neighbor at all.
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Nothing. It is a common name why do you think it is about you?
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