My husband (74) with dementia, says he wants to go to college for Forestry. Any advice?

It kind of does sound like an oxymoron. Wanting to be a forest ranger and do all that, but won't get out and mow grass or go into woods. Like I alluded to before, people with dementia can drive you sort of crazy with their delusions. To them, what they want is very real and achievable. (My mom sometimes says she is going to take a bus to Toledo, OH and get beads at a beadstore she used to go to 35 years ago) To me as a pragmatic person, it just seems nutty and impractical. I used to work in a nursing home, and also care for my mom who is 89 and has dementia. She is slowly getting worse with the delusionalism and foolishness. I generally try to distract her when she jumps on a "crazy train" ride. It usually works. Hang in there.

Thank you all so very much...On the day I was at the refuge..there was a donation box...and I borrowed pen..bought paper and envelope..I wrote a well worded letter of my heart felt thanks...with the rangers name and number and exactly the heart felt thanks I still have for him...I put a nice donation in the envelope..as he would not take anything from me him self...he said he has a grand mother...with this same thing..and he was happy he could help..in fact..This man sparing 5 minutes for my husband...has made a drastic change in my life....and that of Leo..my husband was ready to leave home , live with one of my sons and attend college...THINKING like a 18 year old, leaving home and going off to college...My heart and mind were twisted and I felt lost..GOD gave the perfect words to this man...and my husband actually HEARD them...felt them...and now FEELS he is DOING better for our environment that if he was a college man!!! .We live on the Eastern Shore..all flat land...very rural..we are on a peninsula ..sandwiched between the Chesapeake Bay and the Atlantic Ocean...Every road leads to a Marsh, wet land, beach, river, or stream...There is farm lands so beautiful..and the soil so rich you can plant anything and it will grow to massive size, and beautiful...and tasty too!!! The commercial fisheries of Shrimp, crabs, fish, lobster are clams and oysters and more are plentiful....We take lots of photos all over the shore and he has over 3000 photos that he has taken of wild turkeys, deer, horse, tractors, farms, that I drive him..and he just photos everything...I am not sure hot to BLOG..and he does not know how to use a computer..all our grandies are 6 hours away...Maybe I will try to help him...maybe then he will feel appreciated in some way....to others...he has done pretty well...while we are here...more stimulation...here than home with so many around him...he follows our son around like a lost puppy..some days....I am dreading the future...hoping..but..I know..I am not going to do so good without him...so I am trying to keep him going!

Sherry, All good & you were truly blessed by a compassionate park ranger. Your account gives me hope & abundant blessings to you and your husband in all your environmental endeavors. :)

Any chance you have a young grandchild or neighbor that could help him set up a forestry blog, so he can share his knowledge? If he had one I for one would volunteer to visit it and inquire or comment on his posts. Feeling like he can share his knowledge and opinions may fulfilling for him.....if you start a blog, please do leave me a message.

Sierra Club as suggested, or Volunteering at a local community Park.....or city park or botanical garden near by

Sherry, there must be some way to compliment and thank this ranger for his patience and compassion. Every little thing like this that we can do helps to raise awareness. I imagine that the park has contact us on it. But I would send it to the main office, is count or state or whatever.

Wow, Sherry! What you did at the refuge was brilliant! And bless that ranger for having the compassion and insight to engage your husband the way he did.

THANK YOU ALL SO VERY VERY MUCH......This week are are visiting my sons in Lexington Park Maryland ....Leo seems to have calmed down a bit on the forest ranger part...At this time he and I do clean up the beaches all season long...and we went to a refuge and while my husband was visiting the movie area and watching some shows..I spoke with a Ranger who was doing his INSIDE detail..I quickly explained to him..Leo's condition ..and What we do to Clean the beaches...and I bought a REFUGE SEW ON PATCH...that is very nice and collectible and when Leo came around..the Ranger spoke with him about how he wished someone would start picking up trash on beaches..that was one of the biggest fears that all that waste come into the marshes...After Leo and he spoke for a while...The ranger gave him the patch I bought and made him an honorary forest ranger!!! HE gave him some papers on the Refuge, the parks and made my DAY and Leo's.....Leo is still talking about it and has sewn the patch on his Camera case...When Leo mentioned something to him about college...the ranger said..he would sure hate to lose a good beach comber to a college course when we need so many hands to help pick up the WORLDS POLLUTION.....so now that we are visiting our sons..and grandies..and having a great time...he seems to have let that go right now...but I am wondering when we get home....when things get back to ABNORMAL..LOL.what will happen...I love being here..with people who connect ....when I get home..I sometimes feel lost...cause for years he was the LEADER..NOT so much anymore..it is left to me.. I am considering every thing everyone has told me..putting all the good loving answers to my heart...PRAYING for you all...and THANKING YOU...with all my heart!!! Sorry I did not get back right away...I have been with my son..and left the computer in the car until today...MY DAUGHTER IN LAWS are great too...and so are my grandies!!!..

I'm hoping my God makes my husband and I park rangers in heaven but doubt if it will happen here on earth.
Brain stimulation is good in any form for dementia and if this is where his interest lies I would say go with it. The 'Help him prepare for the course' suggestion is great. There are all manner of ways to help including Youtube videos of parks and wildlife (visual stimulation).

Most parks have teams of volunteers to augment the professional staff. Funding has been cut so people with any relevant skill are needed from interpretation to trail maintenance. My interest is exotic pest plants in native ecosystems. I drag my 75 year old MCI husband into the woods in a county park so we can do exotic pest plant removal, something needed in most natural areas. Your local native plant society may be a good place to start. He can attend programs given by people who are in the business of land management today, go on field trips with others interested in the forest and even help with projects in which the group is involved. Good luck!

Sherry, I think mominmyhome is being a realist. From what you describe, your husband will never get past the paperwork, let alone the class work. I think it is just the idea, the dream, that he finds enticing. He isn't different from the rest of us---I wish I had $5 for every project I have begun and self-improvement plan I have seriously entertained---but he is less able to follow through or understand why he is not really suited for his dream job.

I think you need to perform that delicate balance act of giving him encouragement while protecting him from reality. He already has an amazing track record. If he is the type that doesn't mind being recorded, how about getting someone (one of your sons or a professional videographer who does family history videos) to interview and record him talking about what he has accomplished. He might get a lift out of seeing and hearing himself review his life and future plans, but at the very least you would have a priceless family record. (Do one for yourself, too!)

They talk very earnestly of doing something. For example, my mother who has dementia, INSISTS she can still do the handicrafts she used to do. I have gotten the stuff several times for her, but results always the same; starts, works at it awhile, makes some mistake, or something; quits. Often insists she needs something else for the project...never gives it up, just keeps nagging and insisting. You can try it, but don't be surprised if he just doesn't do much with it after all the talk and getting things set up.

Sierra Club is also a great way to get involved. They do clean up & maintain trails etc. I am not sure how much physical work your husband is capable of. But it would not hurt to check out Sierra Club.

Most colleges will allow someone to to audit a class for free. I say go for it.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/13/business/retirementspecial/older-students-auditing-courses-find-a-welcome-on-campus.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Sherry, how awesome that you and your hubby are cleaning up the environment. Job well done :)

First paragraph...last sentence should read "people he talks to."

Your husband already has achieved a lot for which he can be proud. Keep praising him, ask him to explain various aspects of testing the different weapons, even if he doesn't remember. My father becomes very, very animated when someone asks him about heavy bombers. He still remembers so much about them that amazes the people he walks to.

So help your husband to emphasize those areas in which he's accomplished so much. It will help both of you cope.

"He has this dream of making money...but no one is hiring".

Doesn't matter. We both know he's unlikely to complete a college degree, but what's important to him is that HE HAS A PURPOSE. Get your sons in on the plan.

Frankly, I think you're really fortunate that he has this goal, even if it's not realistic.

And think about contacting the local American Legion or VFW so he can get together with others who shared a military experience.

I do LOVE you all...and these are trying times....we love our environment..we recycle..we pick up trash on several beaches ...we live on the Eastern Shore, every road leads to a marsh, wet land, beach, and we know how fragile our planet is...we take our truck..5 gallon buckets...and pick up trash..then take it to the recycle center...there are lots of them here on the shore...I work for the UVA ..a lab on the shore here... I am care taker for the Students Dorms and Labs....I learn through them..the importance of there work and what they do to keep our planet in Check...and I keep there dorms and labs in perfect condition..to let them KNOW ...I appreciate there work..time and concentration on preserving this planet.....MY LOVE for wishing we could have a DO OVER...in the PLASTIC INDUSTRY....(Pacific ocean Garbage island www.com) in doing these things...he now wants to try to save the FOREST ...and WILDLIFE.....he cannot use a computer...and most classes are based on computer use...LEO has had his day...he was in the UNITED STATES NAVY for 38 years and is a VETERAN..he worked in ORDNANCE and was a GUN MECHANIC..he TESTED every type of GUN the US TROOPS use in times of war to make sure they were accurate and true and would hold up in any extreme ..circumstance..SAND, HEAT, Cold, water, he tested them all, he traveled and won enough awards in his day..he met presidents and got monetary awards offered for saving our government money. We made a MODEST INCOME..and have a MODEST retirement.....I have always worked too..in the swimming pool industry and it was my income that Purchased the vehicles we drive, took us on vacations, paid for education for sons...I work 2 jobs now...low hours..but good pay...I am caretaker for prime residence..8 years...and love it...and we clean her beach too..LOL...anyway...He has this dream of making money...but no one is hiring...FOREST RANGERS...in our area...much less..GOD FORBID I SAY THIS....but not one with a bobble head.....I LOVE HIM...but his head never stops bobbling.......he wears Shorts that are long to his knees and his pockets are at his knee caps..lawd a mercy.....and he puts his PHONE in is pocket...and NEVER HEARS IT RING.and he has ears the size of TEXAS......on his birthday he was in tears..cause he did not hear from his sons..even though I DID everything to see he had a good day..finally I said..LET ME SEE YOUR PHONE...sure enough..everyone called..he had hit a button and turned it off..with his leg....he finally and happily got to talk to his kids...LORD a mercy....Can you imagine him in a forest ranger tower and they call to tell him to leave a fire is on the way..and he is asleep and the phone is off. SO what I do think I will do...is take him to the library..and get some things on Forestry...we can start with Ecology...and I can find some CHILDREN'S...pages and retype them to look like adult questions...LAWD ..are you smarter than a FIFTH GRADER LOL NO I AM NOT...I am sure he is not either..LOLOL..I will see about Getting things to make sure he is feeling good about the work he is already doing to help the planet...he spends his own money for us..I drive him and he helps pick up trash...on the beaches..we do 3 private beaches in Silver beach, a beach in Eastville, a beach in Cape Charles, and several Marshes in Oyster va and Morleys wharf and Willis warf...and we start over..no matter where we go even if for pleasure if there is trash we pick it up....He spends over 50.00 a week in gas ...going from ATLANTIC VA to KIPTOPEAKE VA..State park....and we usually get a 8ft bed of trash each week...black plastic oil cans, water bottles, McDonalds cups, lunch bags, buckets, footballs, plastic toys and chairs..you would not believe what washes up.....I have been cutting our grass for 8 years and he sits in the screen house..he bought me a Black N Decker Cordless lithium battery operated blower and weed wacker and it GREAT..he never used it...he WROTE my name on it in big letters with a magic marker!!!! LOLOL..If he goes out to try to help me....he starts talking like he has lost his voice and is so weak he has to go it...(PRETENDING)....LOL.. His friend took him to the Unemployment office and they are just getting back....he said he could not remember dates of when he was in Boot camp...1966 LOLLLL I have a a small garden I love to tend...and it is doing great....he will pick the veggies when they are ripe and eat them...LOLOL...but not pull weeds....SERIOUSLY I have been working more than one job all my married life....I owned and operated a swimming pool industry and it was located on the water..so I had a sports pier and a commercial water-mans pier..and I owned a beauty polar and rented it out to beauticians...when the pool store closed in winter, I had that, and I substituted at the schools, sold cars, and taught Sunday school...in our married life..when ever Leo mentioned getting another job...I would get the job instead, knowing all his focus had to be on the weapons, the experiments he had to do, to make sure the men out there survived..some might say..WHAT KIND of experiments would you need to do..to make sure a gun shot? well how about if your in a SAND STORM in 200 degree heat..how is a machine gun going to fire if sand is in the belt...HOW about in FREEZING weather will the lubricants hold up ..or get thick ..how will the gun shoot....HOPEFULLY it never kills on both ends! KEEPING the troops safe was our main priority..Leo traveled won award and did his absolute best....to insure every mans weapon ..worked accurate in all weather....Today..our son have taken up where he left off and do programing on the USS WASP , the Aircraft and the helicopters that board and take off from that ship and lockeedmartin does all the testing for them...EVERY DIME I earned went to Cisco certifications training after school from the time they were 7 years old...today..my SONS name there price .....back in our day...we got wage grade...Thank GOD...there jobs continued there education for them and pays for all they need...Both sons are well...doing wonderful..and I have not told them there dads condition...cause now..they are the ones...SAVING our TROOPS in a different way.....but still need full focus ...My oldest son just got home from getting one of the highest Cisco certifications ....I am happy he is doing well and I HOPE and PRAY to GOD they never get this disease...People who use the most of there brain....seem to wear it out....ANYWAY...youtube has my sons work..where Lockeedmartin is testing his programs on some night runs..Aug2013..all Videos of that June, July, Aug of the ships and aircraft is his team that has done the work to see the ships and all aircraft are on the same programs and are safely built..My son had me praying for him..cause he had to go up on the aircraft, he was on board the ship 3 months and he flew out on his helicopter program...if they did not work..all would be lost...IT ALL WORKED...he is like his dad....and his dad is smart too....He wants me to get another JOB....but..this old gal has wised up...HE IS NO LONGER...responsible for troops weapons..and if he wants to prove a point that he can get a job...go to college.....and his friend is going to help him...at least this is what they are telling me right now...but WE ALL KNOW..how this is going to end....NOT GOOD....He is looking for his papers where he got an honorable discharge..so I need to go help him...since this is what he wants to do.....when he did retire...They flew a flag over the base he worked on..and gave him the flag in a nice case...the guys he worked for gave him a mahogany case for it and a desk to match it..small and nice to hold the flag case....and it also has a plaque of his service time...74 years old...and wants to be a Forest Ranger..but never goes outside...MMMmmm ....LIBRARY and VIDEOS of forestry..might work..LOL...THANK YOU ...GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!! .......

Support his fantasy dream and help him feel good about himself. It can be a way to bring the two of you closer, as well as a learning experience and a confidence building experience for him.

Check "http://www.opm.gov/search/?site=default_collection&q=forest ranger" for job ads for forest rangers, or check your state's Dept. of Natural Resources. Create a job description tailored for your husband, with emphasis on mountains. He can work toward meeting those requirements as his personal goal.

Create your own syllabus with sections on activities he'd enjoy (no lawn mowing though). Perhaps include geology as a primary topic with subtopics of identification of major geologic constructs (oceans, volcanoes, mountain ranges, plains, geysers, forests), etc.

Since he grew up in the mountains, you could include topics on how mountains are created, which would also address tectonic plates and collision of continents.

That's a pretty broad spectrum to begin with.

Then find books at the library or information online on these various subjects, or on geology generally. He could even search for subjects himself.

Let him study, help him with the concepts and perhaps create some simple quizzes, ones which he can easily answer and feel as though he's moving forward toward his goal.

Plan field trips (unless traveling would cause him to be disoriented and confused.) Even if you don't live in a mountainous area, you could go to state parks, identify the geologic constructs there (sand dunes, lakes, forests, etc.) and tailor your course to include how these areas were created, how they relate to each other, etc.

Do a Google search for geologic cuts in your area. We went to several in Michigan and in Canada during my geology class. One was a Devonian cut which was also a breathtakingly beautiful site. It was so peaceful and relaxing to just plop down on the beach and dig in the sand for fossils. And what a treasure to find one!

Plan a picnic and make an outing of it.

Even if he realizes the subject matter is difficult to comprehend, he'll at least feel as though he's pursuing something worthwhile. And it may improve his cognitive functioning and help him feel good about himself.

I think you could really help him enhance his self image by being creative. And you can tell him you're (1) helping him save money by studying before he goes back to school and/or (2) preparing now as winter is coming shortly and you want to be able to take in some field trips while you can.

I think it could be a challenging experience for both of you and bring you closer together. And geology is absolutely fascinating. It was one of my favorite subjects and I've always wanted to study it more.

Sherry, I had to chuckle when you said your hubby wants to be a forest ranger yet he won't mow the lawn :P

I just got off the website Wiki How regarding what is required to be a forest ranger. As mentioned above enroll in a forestry program at an accredited university or college. He will participate in courses that focus on public policy, management of forest resources, biology and forest ecology. He will also need to gain credits in other sciences and mathematics, such as taxonomy, computer science, statistics and GPS technology.

He will need to complete a field session or an internship. During his coursework, he will likely be required to participate in hands-on experience. This may take place within a camp setup by the college or through a work-study program at an independent entity.

Most State Parks require that participants have a 4-year degree in forestry and a number of years working in the field. He may also be asked to take an exam.

The Society of American Foresters requires passing an exam after the candidate earns a degree from an accredited college and acquires 5 years experience. The Society for Range Management certification requires passing an exam after obtaining a degree in forestry and working at least 6 years.

He better start mowing the lawn, pulling weeds and not be afraid of chiggers and ticks... there are more scary things out in those woods :)

Most moocs will provide a certificate of completion that can be printed out. Some for a nominal fee will offer a more official sounding, can't remember what, certificate. The fee for a class I took a year ago was $75.00. That class was actually approved for continuing education credits toward some sort of license renewal. And yes the class was "Caring for Elders with Alzheimer's Disease and other dementias."

sharynmarie, I think you have the best idea! Of course, if he tries to apply for a job, and it's discovered that he has a fake diploma.... kidding!!!

Here is general info on where to look for free online classes.

What Is a MOOC?

MOOCs emerged in 2008, and loosely resemble correspondence courses. Classes are offered to a large number of students, over the internet, for free. In a typical MOOC, students watch short video lectures online and complete assignments that are graded either by machines or by their peers. This format allows a single professor to teach a class of several thousand students in a personalized manner.

Where Can I Take a MOOC?

Websites such as Coursera, Canvas Network, EdX or Udacity are the major players in the MOOC arena, and although they are not designed to replace higher education, the courses offered can be used to supplement or reinforce courses and trainings taken in the past, or to learn new topics in an informal setting

THANK YOU ALL for everything......I will let you know what happens...I am checking into everything..!

I know NYS allows seniors to audit courses in State Colleges for free if there is room. maybe he could do that. If he is disruptive he will simply be asked to leave. Maybe you can talk to the college about his health needs and if he stays the course they can give him an honory degree. After all four years is a long time and he will probably "drop out" by then. If he stays the course and applies for a job it is unlikey he will be hired at a level he would find acceptable. In any case those jobs are few and far between. The more you encourage it the less likely he is to take action so bite your lip. i also imagine that a forestry course requires quite a lot of time actually out in the forest - bugs and all.

Pick up a couple books from a book store about forests and the ecosystems with lots of Pi tires of the forest. Create a diploma online and give it to him.

Indulge him in the fantasy. Bless his heart, at least he has a specific dream. Order college catalogs, see if you can find any of the course books in the library or online. Help him "prepare" for taking classes. Point out any relevant articles you come across. Respect his interest.

I'm not so sure about indulging him in the actual activity. It would be blow to his ego to find out he is not regarded as knowing more than the instructors and a big disappointment to find out college classes are a lot of work.

I suspect the fantasy is more appealing than the reality would be.

Geocaching is another idea for an activity he might enjoy.

Not Coursers, should be Coursera. Darn spell checker!

I would also check on free online classes. There are several organizations that offer them. One that I know about is Coursers. Also check out TED talks online, there are a wide variety of talks on just about anything you can imagine. To find programs for free online classes google "Massive Open Online Class" or MOOC. The classes are huge but maybe this would provide the intellectual stimulation he is looking for, and that is a good thing. Also you could check out colleges that have forestry programs, go to the website for the bookstore, find out the text they are using and purchase it online through Amazon's, Abe books, etc. You can find them very reasonably priced.