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My father was very difficult and at times mean my whole life, I looked through all that and realized he was a good person and loved us no matter how he acted at times. He went through a bad depression when I was a child,he sat and stared for hours. I would try to get his attention, but he wouldn't even look at me. I remember thinking it was my fault. But when I grew up I realized it wasn't. He had his own inner demons. He passed away last november. I miss him and will always love him.
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Hmm I face this one - my mum has always preferred my brothers to me especially one that died when I was just 4 years old (58 years ago). Nevertheless, despite her behaviour (as I perceive it), she DOES recognise that I am the ONLY one who cares for her and about her well being. She doesn't appreciate knowing that either let me tellyou and she can still be vile. however I have noticed a calming over the last few weeks...it is as though she is trying to make amends as she recognises that before too long she will meet her maker and be judged accordingly (Mum is a devout Christian in that sense). You won't know what happened in your Mum's past that caused her to be like that with you I suspect although in my case I do know : my mum never really fully grieved for her dead son and as I was still at home then (hadnt started school) I think she turned her grief into dislike for me living - I am adopted she lost her natural son.
It is a waste but it is her waste not yours. If you let it get to you - you will be the one who is left with all the guilt. Just take each day as it comes and forgive her for the past - you cannot change the past only the future sweetheart xxxx
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