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my mother is 87 and is in stage seven she needs to be fed she does not talk unless spoken to only one word answers she has no clue who we are even though we see her every day she has been this way for almost 9 months where we have to physically feed her she never smoked or drank she is healthy for those reasons how long can she go on this way

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Even most doctors can't give you a time frame. I can't imagine that she could go on much longer. Sometimes people seem physically fine and then their lungs "forget" to work or something goes wrong and they just don't wake up. Others can keep going for much longer.

If she is comfortable there may not be much more that you can do, but if you need help, it's possible that she would qualify for hospice care. That could give you a little respite and give your mother more medical supervision. I'm sure that you are exhausted so any respite care would help. Talk with her doctor about options.

Please keep us informed about how you are doing.
Carol
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bignewyorker, my mom is also in stage 7 one would assume. She lives with me. My Mom cannot speak either except some one words pop out or a rare mumble of "I Love you" in which I melt. She hasnt been able to walk either and this has been about 4 years now. I need to puree her foods and feeding takes 2 hours a meal. She chokes on fluids so I use thick it and be very careful because she forgets how to swallow and it takes a long time. She has been incontinent for over 4 years and I use a hoyer to move her. I transfer her onto the toilet to bathe her as she has strength in her legs but her brain wont tell her how to use them. I crush her pills into prune pudding 2x a day and feed her those that way. She doesnt know who I am but who knows, maybe she does? She rarely sleeps, its cat naps here and there. I hoyer her to her wheelchair, bed, recliner and keep her music on, hold her hand and do long cheek to cheek hugs because inside she just must be scared. She loves when I sing certain songs and will bounce her legs and arms and laugh. She laughs a lot and I video her. She loves music on, I put on a dvd of lawrence welk or elvis and I can tell her is happy. But then.....most of the time she is solemn and her hours are just stares and nothing phases her, very sad. Her doctor is my doctor and he has told me so many times to just keep her warm and comfortable , they can go on many years like this. I had a friend who also took care of her Mother and she was completely bedridden for 5 years until she passed and got pneumonia several times. My Mom can hold her head up still and unless she couldnt, I keep her moving. When we have the grandkids over and our kids, etc, I put her out with us in a recliner or wheelchair. I think to myself, what if she knows exactly whats going on and wants to hear it all but cannot express it? (she is legally blind also and lost vision in half of each eye from a cerebrel hemmorage she also had ) I think the same thing, when do I get my life back, but I dont want to lose her for my life either when I see her smile and laugh, you know? So, yes, the great care you can give at home will keep them living many years. They wont contract infections or get good food fed to them which takes hours a day that no one else could take the time to do. My solution is to hire help because my nerves were frazzeled. Its so hard to find good help but when you get someone its great. I now have someone almost every morning to get her up, washed and dressed for me. I then take over for the day and occcasionally I get weekend help but thats hard to find and hard to train someone for also, seems no one has patience these days, they just want the paycheck. Moms doctor told me at the stage she is in, if she went into a nursing home she would go straight downhill and die, I could never live with that. Ive been at this 7 years now. We went thru every stage including the anger and wandering but I medicated her at that time to get through it. I do know one thing, when I say "can I have a kiss Mom?" she gives me one 99% of the time, sometimes she tries to eat my cheek, lol ! Hang in there and lots of love.
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At some point soon, she will stop eating. Shortly after that, she will stop drinking and you need Hospice. Even now, she may aspirate some food and that can lead to a fatal case of pneumonia. If she has been this way unchanged for 9 months, it may not be alzheimers, but stroke damage. Has there been a formal diagnosis?
Winters are very hard on NH patients and Flu season takes a lot of lives.
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In going to alzheimer's support groups, the facilitator says she does not like to say stages because people are different and there are times they may go backward, forward or stay in a holding pattern. So basically there is no way to tell. There will be a day that you guys do something that triggers her memory and she will sit and have a conversation with you and be able to call you all by name, then the next two minutes go back to the way she was. So try and not put a stage to it and just take one day at a time. Hope this helps. God bless you all and I pray continued strength for you and your family.
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If any of you are not offended (even if you are I guess) there are more common sense and as my ebook reads "Bold Actions for Helping Older Parents. It is very helpful and supportive to join a caregiver support group and then ask these questions because you will get much better one on one. I talk about Bold Actions because there are so many questions that can be quickly answered so adult children or spouse caregivers can not just be talked to, but really have information to get on with and get solutions and get a better chance at relieving all that goes on in your day to day life with so many of these predicaments lingering and you only worry more and more and keep looking for answers. What you need for relief is to get into action. I am Bold as my title says because I have seen the emotional torture we have all gone through with aging parents and I just know there are safer strategic ways to get on with you and your parents better lifestyle.
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I have not personally dealt with an Alzheimer's patient, but I did with a stroke patient and he lost his ability to speak and could not eat much by mouth, but I did have the hospital provide him a feeding tube. That may be an option for you loved one. And he had to keep a feeding tube until his unfortunate passing.
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Bignewyork I am sorry to hear you are going through this. Is your Mom in nursing home? Do you have her on hospice care? Does Mom have a DNR and Health Directives in place? If so, what do those documents say about end of life care?
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Most doctors will be honest and say there really are no stages that can be identified. Even if there were, it doesn't change what you are going through. Dementia facilities do so much that will keep your parents in a more calming and safe atmosphere. If the parent too sick into the disease, then a nursing home at least can help them better than 12 children who have no experience in how to help mom or dad. Sure we love them, so go take action and find a community that is suited to providing the appropriate lifestyle needed as the disease progresses. Good luck. I know it isn't easy, but don't stay in "procrastination Purgatory".
30 year experienced author of "Bold Actions for Helping Older Parents".
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See this article on the Alzheimer's Association website.
http://www.alz.org/nyc/in_my_community_17737.asp
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tnovak, If you think that Nursing homes offer a safer atmosphere then you need many more years of one on one experience before you say such a thing. Most falls and diseases are in nursing homes. The people that say their loved one is in a "wonderful nursing home" are the ones that feel the guiltiest and are uninformed of how it actually is when they leave. Did you ever work in one, try it. Watch how much time the Aides actually give to them for feeding, bathing, dressing, and even just talking to them. Look at the stats on the illnesses, the accidents, neglect, abuse, depression, medications, and longevity of later stage patients. Most suffer from UTI's, I wonder why, the Aides are given a wash cloth and a dry cloth for bathing. We need to get at-home help, for respite, and not to sacrafice the care of our loved ones. Sure, if the patient has their mind its totally different., and nursing homes can be great . But, a really sick or demented person needs someone to give them the best of care as they have lived a long life and deserve it, its not their fault. Just sitting and holding their hand sometimes is crutial, they are afraid and cannot express it! I have tried to traindozens of former nursing home aides for me that are clueless about sanitation and infection control. That bold attitude could be used well into getting the goverment to help us with money for good care at home, and not cold care at a facility. No questions can be answered quickly. Each patient, family, and caregiver has different situations and limitations that are to be taken into consideration. Each Demented patient is different and requires many different options and opinions from us all here and from their Doctors before they make their own decisions with their own situations. Taking 2 hours to feed my mother her home cooked puree food might be draining to me at times, but I wouldnt send her to a nursing home because of it, or the fact and cannot talk or walk. I just would like financial help to help me pay for the LNA that I do hire to help me at home. I cannot tell you how many Aides I have tried to train just to feed Mom and she still would choke. I cant leave my Mom in the hands of just any aide , it has to be a trained caring patient person whom I trained and trust. My Mom was/is the best and will only get the best for the rest of her life. She brought up 3 children without even a car or clothes dryer, she waited on all of us, did everything for us and was the root of our lives. I dont believe in bold, I believe only in the best loving care anyone can have. I think this site is fantastic for getting ideas, opinions and compliments. We will worry, work hard, and ask questions for each stage of our loved ones lives and will have questions for as long as they live and beyond. Cheers to all caregivers out there and lets hope we all get some great help in the future.
PS In Mass there is a plan that pays at home caregivers 18k a year for taking care of a parent in your home, but no where else that I have learned of.
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