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My Gma has been in this bed for a couple years now. She has Alzheimer’s/dementia and swollen feet/legs now. She can’t really walk/stand. She is the glue of the family and it sucks that we all are going about our lives and she is stuck. My aunt takes care of her but is older herself. An aide comes and cares for her but doesn’t get her out the bed or anything. What services or how do I go about getting her more help getting around. Like for the holiday or something. Last year I tried to carry her down the stairs but she kept pulling at the walls scared. So I put her back in bed. She’s gained a lot of weight from what she used to be. (Not crazy but still)

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The first thing that might help grandma and the rest of the family...
Move grandma downstairs. place her bed in the living room or other first floor room. If this is an apartment building that is a bit different.
I also suggest that you contact a Hospice. They can help with a hospital bed, equipment that will make it safer and easier to care for her.
And look into getting caregivers that will come in and help. If you have been caring for her for a few years you need a break.
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If grandma has been in bed for a couple of years , I doubt she will be comfortable in a wheelchair , and may be scared to be outside in open space at this point .

I recommend getting a hospital bed delivered to the first floor . Move her downstairs permanently . You could hire an ambulette service to come. They will put her on a stretcher and bring grandma downstairs and put her in her new bed .
She will be with the family on the first floor .
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NeedHelpWithMom May 2023
Thanks for explaining this. I was wondering if they could hire someone to help move her.
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Have professionals move Grandma downstairs permanently.
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Any chance she can live downstairs? It seems like a bad idea for her to live up there. My Mom lives alone in her house, on the ground floor. She doesn’t need to go up and down the stairs anymore. She has caregivers. Your grandma might need to go to the hospital in the future: this upstairs problem should be solved now already. You will have to solve it anyway.

She shouldn’t be tucked away upstairs. Anyone would get depressed.

From the ground floor, you can learn ways to wheelchair her out into the sunshine. We all need Vitamin D, sunshine, fresh air, the sky. She can do PT exercises in the wheelchair, while looking at the sky. She might even become strong enough to walk again, assisted. I guess it’s been many years since she saw stars.
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Your profile says that your grandmother has ALZ and numerous other issues. Do you think that she wants to participate in family gatherings?

The stairs are an issue. You could have a terrible accident going up and down those stairs if she becomes frightened while you’re trying to carry her downstairs.

Wouldn’t it be better for your older aunt to retire from caregiving and your family could place her in a facility where she would receive care around the clock by a professional staff?
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Definitely her bedroom needs to be downstairs. We just moved aunt ,94, to the TV room where she can enjoy some activity and visitors. She is now in hospice care.

When the bedroom is set up fire/rescue may help with the first carry downstairs. Tell them what you need.

This will be much easier for your aunt too.
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Do you think you’re going to get her downstairs and then back up again? I don’t. As you’ve described the problem, it probably isn’t possible.

Plus if she’s scared and doesn’t want to go out, why do it?

She needs professional care now
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Are you wanting her to get out of her bed and go outside for HER or for YOU?

Big difference here.

If it's important to HER, then start with some PT to help build up some muscles and to train YOU how to lift her w/o hurting yourself. Trying to carry her downstairs and she's freaking out? That could definitely be a real disaster.

You can get more aides through the agency you already use. You can have a stairlift installed (they're quite pricey and she may not like it after the fact--so think about that before you jump the gun)

Moving her downstairs sounds like the best option. Even if she doesn't get out of bed, she's in the 'midst' of the action and that may help assuage your feelings that she's missing out.

Honestly with ALz & Dementia--she probably doesn't care where she is. My MIL is on in home Hospice and she thinks she's in a NH. Her kids all see now that the 'golden moment' to move her has passed.

You sound very caring and kind--but you can't roll back the years and make her be the grandma you remember.
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Bless her heart.

She really needs to be moved downstairs as soon as possible.

This is a safety issue. If the house were to catch fire (heaven forbid) or extreme weather require moving to a ground floor, it would be horrible to not have the ability to evacuate her quickly.

She also needs very much to be moved out of the bed - even if someone can put a chair beside her bed and sit her in it every day. It will help her tremendously.

Does she have a primary care doctor who can write orders for assessments for home health or for Hospice?

Or perhaps you can contact your local Hospice yourself. They'll tell you what you need to do to have her assessed. They can come out and do an assessment and if she qualifies, they'll provide everything you need, including a bed. If she doesn't qualify for Hospice most of the time she will qualify for palliative care which can provide physical therapy.

Blessings.
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Inform her PCP ( Physician) and request him/ or to order a hospice evaluation of your grandmother for possible hospice admit. Do this right away. If you are not the POA, then inform the POA to do this.
The RN nursing, social work, certified nurse assistant ( CNA), Chaplain , and other services with hospice may all help you navigate the care needed for your grandmother.
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