How do I go about asking my friend to pay me for his care?

According to your profile, this friend is only 69 yrs old. He could need care for a very long time... I agree with others that you inadvertently did a "bait and switch" with him but consider that a lesson learned.

Honestly, you need to go back to a real, stable full-time job that pays into your SS and Medicare (and has benefits) so that you don't shaft yourself when it comes time for you to need ongoing help. I doubt he can pay you enough to make it worth the strain on your mind and body, anyway. If you're his only caregiver, 24/7 care is unsustainable on every level. And if you think his passive disrespect is bad now...just you wait until it ramps up (because it will).

This "friend" obviously is ignoring your request (and need!) to get paid so he's made it clear you're a convenience, not a friend from his point of view. Connect him (or report him) to social services for his county and then move out and move on. He can only take advantage of you if you allow it. So, don't.

It comes down to this, he either pays you to make up for business lost or he pays big bucks to an agency for care or goes to an AL. Or, you keep your business and the hours your not available, he pays someone. Your business should come first. You have been only doing this care for a year so easier to back off and the stroke is a new thing that you are finding is taking too much of your time. You should not be giving ur life up for a friend.

Yes, turn off that TV and have a serious talk. Its not what he wants but what you are willing to give. Do not allow him to intimidate u.

If he is ignoring your I think you have your answer. Let him know you will be moving if he needs to get someone else in. That should start the conversation. Be ready to follow through. Of course, always best to have these conversations up front before moving in.

So you decided to help your friend for free and list your only means of income? What is wrong with you? You need to get back to working a real job and tell friend you are no longer available.

You need to tell him that his needs have greatly increased since his stroke and your original agreement. You have given up most of your livelihood to meet these needs so you will need him to compensate you...and free room and board does not count as compensation. If he cannot come up with an agreement within the next two weeks you will be moving out. Shut off the tv if you have to.

He can hear you . My Dad does the same thing Pretends he doesnt hear what you are saying . I would tell him " I need a salary if I am going to stay other wise I Have to get back to my Business . " Just Be honest and if he Ignores you write him a Note or Letter .

You need to move out and go back to work. Let him know when that is happening, ie 30 or 60 days.

In the meantime, you need to put all of your energy into a plan to organize care resources for this person. This means aids, cooking, cleaning resources. Call a senior center for ideas. If he has any living family, you need to start transitioning this back to them.

Since he had a stroke, he may literally not be able to process what you’re saying. Look up stroke resources online also.

He basically needs a case manager to put together a plan for him, you or someone else is that person. Hopefully someone else, you’ve done enough.

To me, it seems like he needs assisted living! Some states will accept Medicaid for assisted living, some will not. I think he might want to use all his money for AL and then when he’s impoverished, he can live into a skilled nursing facility under Medicaid.

It’s a complicated situation and I wish you well.

Please order a copy of the old paperback, "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty." After reading that, go and apply for jobs that pay well and offer benefits. Soon as you land that, start apartment hunting and give him the phone number for Visiting Angels. It's a win-win situation!

Contact the family if he is not answering you. Let them know how your side business has dropped and you need some money to live on. If they don't offer some kind of payment, then let them know your move out day so they can hire someone or send a family member.

You know what I would do in this instance? You went in with this feeling no problem I can still have my business. Then found his stroke took up more time than u had. You should have said "this won't work because I am now losing business". Then it was up to your friend to hire help. If he could not afford it, then try in home Medicaid. If he needs most of his ADLs done, then he needs care in a facility.

I would not even try to make any kind of agreement with this person since he already ignores u. I would tell him as soon as u get ur ducks in a row, you will be leaving. That this type of "caring" u found u cannot do. You need to work because it looks like he is not going to pay you. Before you leave, call in Office of Aging or Adult Protection services. Be honest and tell them the man is a friend that u thought u could help but not where u lost business because of the care he needs. He needs more than you can give. Then u can leave knowing he is set up with an agency. Do it now, because the longer ur there, the longer it will be harder to get out of.