How difficult is it to get guardianship of an elderly parent?

Also, there is no problem with my brother, he is honest. I Don't want to be on anything but fear since she has no back up for him, I could be in a world of trouble if he dies. He probably won't but you never know. I know she is mentally not right, I have explained all of this to her including the thousands of dollars it would cost to get guardianship and her answer is "well I'll have to talk to a lawyer about this", which she won't do. It will never be done. She has no reason to distrust either me or my brother. Just nutty stuff. But it is good to talk to someone who actually had to do this. Thank you so much.

Thank you, thank you! This is what I wanted to hear. I understand the 25K would be taken out of your mother's monies. Did you have to pay first and then get reimbursed or did you ever get reimbursed? My Mother has a great deal of money, so there is no problem with paying for all of this from her funds. That is the problem, she doesn't want anyone near her money because she has a paranoid personality problem.

I did get guardianship of my mother. I started out by having a medicare attorney help me draw up a caregiver's contract in order to "spend down" my mother's money. She did not have a lot but this caregiver's contract is still in place. At this point I had not considered guardianship. I moved to another state and decided that it would be beneficial for me to have guardianship. I have four siblings and none of them felt that they could care for Mom. I hired an attorney and started the process. We held a hearing and 2 of my siblings came down opposed to my guardianship. They did not want to keep my mother. Their disagreement caused me to have to hire two more attorneys so the expense went up. We ended up holding two hearings and I did get guardianship. My brother was appointed conservator. I found that you never know how your siblings will react. I followed the advice of my attorney at every step. It was evident during both hearings that my two siblings were just trying to cause problems and were not concerned about our mother's care. The cost was around $25,000.

laurie, thank you for you input. My daughter and her husband are lawyers, my other daughter's fiancee is one also. None are elder lawyers, so I haven't approached them with these questions. I am just interested in hearing from someone who has actually done this. It seems to require alot of expense and work. So unneccessary in our situation.

Hello....Can you avail yourself to free legal aid in your area? Check with an agency that deals with problems with the aging and ask for their help putting you in touch with someone. If no legal aid available, I would suggest you choose an attorney from the phone book listings giving free consultations. If need be, ask that person to direct you to where you could get information before deciding your next step. Gather as much info as you can before having to pay someone to help you. The best of luck solving your problem. Laurie Turner

Hello, Perhaps getting the help you need can come from an agency that deals with such problems. Where I live there's the Tri County Office of Aging that address all kinds of problems. Such an office could direct you, or just look in your local phone book under "county" listing and see what's there such as the court system. Or ask people that you come in contact with. We also have a legal hot line where local attorney's volunteer their time and the service is free. Good luck and God Bless

Thanks, would like to know if anyone has had to get guardianship and what it was like. I am very frustrated.

Guardianship requires proving the person is incompetent. The person must actually be given notice that this is being filed and have a chance to contest it. The financial POA during the life of the person and the executor after the death of the person handle the finances. Typicaly, an alternate or contingent POA is named in case the original POA resigns, dies, or otherwise cannot continue, and the person themself can revoke the POA or change it to a different person. A lot depends on exactly how the papers are written up. So talking to the lawyer who did the papers would be ideal.

A health care POA or "proxy" would be a VERY good thing, if nothing else, so you can get information. There were many times I would not have been given any had I not produced the appropriate papers for my mom. It also formally allows someone to make treatment and end of life decisions if the person cannot. If separate people can have financial and health care POAs it may be ideal. Do you feel like you know what Mom would and would not want done in case of a life-threatening illness? That conversation, though difficult, is a lot better than having to go through guardianship, which can be a little expensive as well.

I hope that helps. And I hope I will not ever have to get guardianship of my mom....I have both the POAs and that will probably be enough. There are circumstances when you really need it to protect someone from themself or from others who would take advantage, and I also hope your situation is not one of those!