How can I help my disabled elderly relative with his messy toileting issues?

How about ask him to use condom.....
I want share my experience for male incontinent problems, I was taking care of patient who he had MS. He could not control his Balder at all.... So I researched all medical catalog then found condom catheter( sometimes call Texas condom) condom should change every day..... . Least he could void in bag( call leg bag or Catheter bag) Bag are changed everyweek for new one, between clean with vinegar
Ask his Dr to write prescription for it....Medicare cover all those supplies, my Pt had secure horizon.Good Luck...

My husband has MS, is only 59 and I have been grasping with this for over 3 years now. The shame they feel is overwhelming!! Be patient. I bought a bidet so he can wash himself after a bowel movement. But the mess he makes can be horrifying and drive one to tears. I liked the suggestion of a portapotty, which I have and will try putting over the regular toilet for him. I think this would work pretty well.

My father-in-law is 91 and is developing dimentia.
He mess the toilet too. We bought him a urine bottle at a pharmacy (like the one they're using in hospital).
It helps at the first time, but someone has to remind him to use it otherwise he forgets all the time. We got frustated because he keeps forgetting (because of his dimentia).
Last night, my husband had a great idea. We put the bottle on the top of the toilet (close the lid) so he will see the bottle.
It helps. But we need to put the bottle back, because he will put it on the floor after using it (much easier than cleaning the mess).
Hopefully this will works, at least for now. We understand this is just a beginning...
This mess only starts about 2 months ago & it stress me out! We always do the cleaning together (me and my husband), at least the burden carried together is much much lighter!!

Hope this will help.

elly

Do they still make urinals? I wonder how hard/expensive it would be add one?

I guess I'm just comforted by hearing others dealing with the same issue. My dad has Alzheimer's, but during the day peeing is not usually a problem. It's when he wakes at night and seems not to "orient" real well. The overnight pee jug next to his bed used to work well, but then it became a bucket, and now it seems to not work more often than work. *sigh*

I can understand your dilemma...my husband and I take care of his Dad and run into similar issues. His father's bodily functions are going. He pees on the floor - never gets it in the toilet. He is at a point where he cannot tell when he needs to go, so he pees and poops on the floor and the carpet. My husband has tried talking to him and, either he ignores it or brushes him off...tells my husband he's going nuts.

Our solution was to put a towel on the floor. It saves daily cleaning on our hands and knees...and it's much easier to wash the towels. Now, instead of cleaning the floor daily, we bleach it once a week. The towels seem to do the trick.

As far as the carpet...rather than constantly having to clean up the poop from the carpet in front of the sink, a plastic runner solved the problem!

And, by the way, the toilet he uses does have the elevated extension and the hand rails...while it helps him get up and down from the toilet, it doesn't help when he decides to go in his pants rather than get up from his recliner to go to the bathroom. So now he wears pads...we're still fighting to get him to wear depends. At least we now have a pad on his recliner seat so as not to ruin the furniture!

Hope some of these suggestions help! We know the frustration!

Two of my sisters-in-law are nurses. When their dad was alive, they had to give him baths. They felt squeamish at first, because it was their dad, but they resigned themselves to just think of him as one of their patients and then it was easier for them. My husband has had to help me with his mother, because she is too heavy for me, sometimes. He just resigned himself to the fact that she needed help and he wasn't going to let her lay there. She's a "fall risk" and is 78 yrs. old. She has advanced Alzheimer's.
Sometimes, she doesn't know where the toilet is. Sometimes, she doesn't know how to use the toilet. We've just had to pull her pants down and get her on the toilet--but we don't pull them down until we are close to the toilet or else she would let loose.
How would you like poop sliding down the toilet and onto the floor and in her shoes and all over her clothes? Not fun to clean up, but that's one thing to expect. Sometimes, she doesn't make it to the toilet before she urinates. I've been doing laundry daily now since May 2009. Good luck!

my father used to do that , i finaly put a stop to it , make it worst when he has to poo too and it comes out while he s standing . nanana
we have a handicap toilet which is higher than reg toilet and a grab bar in front of dad , makes it easier for him to pull himself up offthe toilet when hes done , makes my job easier too .
if he was on the reg low toilet believe me i would never beable to get him up .
dad did refuse to sit but i had to force him to sit , told him pee poo everywhere no no no . so he accept it .
wish you luck ,,

This is so common, and your compassion is admirable. Many people deal with this. I'm just throwing this out for ideas, as I don't know what more you can do but clean up the mess and accept it.

Any ideas out there?
Carol