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My older mother who I am caring for clearly collides her spoon with her teeth while eating. She has significant dental issues, among them that she occasionally loses her crowns. I have pointed the fact that she is hitting her teeth with her spoons with almost every bite and she is both offended at the observation and denies she is doing this. She also has the habit of using large spoons, although it occurs with smaller ones. I am worried that she is hastening her dental problems. It would be wonderful if she could realize she is doing it and avoid it, but this is not occurring as she does not accept that is it happening. If she were much older I could just have her use plastic spoons but we're nowhere near that point.


I feel like I need to do something as I am almost sure this is damaging her teeth.


Is this a common issue with older folks? Does anyone know how I can approach working on this?

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I am responding here in the thread to the several suggestions of alternate cutlery (plastic, etc) as I don't want to appear to neglect any of your responses by just answering one.

She is very used to her large collection of metal cutlery she has used over the years and I know she will not switch to something else at this point.

So this is probably just something to live with. I'm only worried about the effect on the enamel and crowns she has.

Maybe it's a social problem... I just need to discuss it in the best possible way again and leave it at that.

In the big scheme of things this may be one of the smaller potatoes in the coming period.
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My mom has Parkinson’s disease. It is nearly impossible to control movements.

There are utensils made for Parkinson’s patients.

The utensils don’t eliminate the problem. In fact, they barely do anything to help eating more comfortably as the symptoms of Parkinson’s disease progresses.
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Two important questions:  is she hitting her teeth accidentally, perhaps reflecting a loss of control with her silverware, some loss of hand conrol, and/or an inability to guide the silverware directly into her mouth and not her teeth?

Or is she hitting the teeth deliberately?

I ask b/c you wrote that she isn't aware of what's happening.   

Are there any hand control, muscle control, hand shaking or similar issues involved?  Has she displayed or been D'X'ed with Parkinson's or a movement disorder?
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SillyWabbit Mar 2021
Fortunately, she is not doing it deliberately. Also also, fortunately, there are no shaking, visible muscle control issues, or movement disorders. This might be an early sign of that, but I don't know.
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As you observe, she is in denial that this is happening. That means it will be difficult to correct. There are spoons that have soft plastic coatings on them, meant for toddlers learning to eat, but unfortunately that are even smaller--at least those I see--than regular; as she likes larger spoons it would be difficult to get her to give them a try. I am 79, and now familiar with the ease with which our teeth fracture due to loss of enamel over time. I wish there was another answer I could come up with for you; might you ask your dentist about this?
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Switch to plastic. Her age is irrelevant.
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I have never heard of this but doesn't mean others haven't.

Give her plastic utensils. There are heavy duty ones that work very well. Even that look like silverware. Make sure she doesn't eat any candy that is sticky, like caramel, or with nuts. Nuts can break a tooth and sticky substances can pull off a cap. Save that cap, sometimes they can be put back on.
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