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A hospice nurse was in to see mom last week, and has since tested positive. Now my husband (who is an essential worker) is afraid for his job, and is insisting that I stop going over to help. They cannot be alone, and everyone is stressed out and working as much as they can. I don't feel like I can not go over, they need me to help mom get fed and trips to the bathroom and ready for bed. How should I delicately handle this? I feel as if I have to choose between my parents and my husband. He has been very understanding for the most part until now.

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Ask your husband if he would feel comfortable if you wore a mask, goggles, gloves and hair covering along with scrubs or other clothes and shoes that you do not return home in, in order to help your parents. You would also have to wash your hands and face thoroughly before leaving your parents' house and shower immediately upon returning home. I understand why your husband is worried; however, you could just as easily get infected at the grocery store where there are positive people walking around who are asymptomatic.

I think too many people are relying on testing. If it's not done properly, the test is useless. Done properly, it is very uncomfortable and I would not subject my elderly parents to it unless they were in the hospital. And I've heard that everyone now is being assumed positive and given drugs for symptom management. There is no cure. Reality is, your parents need help. I would focus on you taking precautions. Your parents also should be wearing masks while you're in the house.
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You may have to, if they need care, go over and STAY over. But the back and forth is a no. You are bring in stuff often when asymptomatic. Your family doesn't deserve that. Know that your parents need careful isolation now. Delicate? That doesn't work. Never has and never will. Gentleness is great. Just to hubby, sorry, but while the pandemic is going on they need me there. I will stay there with them and it could be months. I am sorry to leave you but I cannot bring it back and forth into our home and risk you. This is real, guys. It's real. I hope your elders haven't contracted it, and wait the two weeks to know. A typical incubation period. Though there is little "typical" about this virus and if 1918 is any lesson to us, we need to be ready for anything. Cuomo was right when he said "anyone who tells you what it will be like in a month is lying to you."
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I would call your mom's doctor, your doctor, and the CDC Covid-19 hotline for advice as soon as possible.
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I've read of several people who have put themselves into quarantine while living in the same home as their loved ones, is it possible to divide your house into zones (separate entrances, bedrooms and bathrooms) and self isolate for 2 weeks? Or perhaps it would be easier to move in with your parents for that period of time?
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We just went thru an incubation period. My daughter was exposed thru a patient. Even though it took a day for the results, my daughter came home immediately stripped and took a shower. Its been 14 days and she has showed no signs. The patient was sent home from the hospital over the weekend. Since she is essential, I watch her son.

I would say, quarantine yourself in ur home for the next 14 days. Take a bedroom and stay there? Wear a mask at your Moms. Strip and shower when you come home. Wash hands all the time.
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(Ive had to put my husband, self and young children in isolation because of Covid - this was before our schools were shut down.) Based on what I know (what is offical in Australia......I wont argue conspiracy theories)....if your not at risk (lung issues, comprimised immunity etc), dont have little children to care for, And your husband is capable of looking after himself (refusing to search Google for cooking recipes and cleaning tips doesnt count as helpless), than go and stay with your parents for two weeks. Assist your mum, whilst practicing strict hygiene, gloves and mask during that time (separate bathrooms if possible and seperate use of kitchen utensils). Stay there, and if your mum has no symptoms within two weeks of contact with infected nurse - she is in the clear and you can go back home also.
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If you ever been to the grocery store or other store chances are you have been in contact with CoVID-19. The hospice nurse was supposed to be wearing a mask so don't worry about it unless symptoms appear--but it is difficult if not impossible to prove you caught it from the nurse since you can get it anywhere else you go to. Practice good handwashing. You do not need disinfectant. Plain soap and water kills the virus because the soap distroys the viral outer covering which essentially destroys the RNA.
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KaleyBug Jun 2020
I agree, my moms hospice nurse comes in wearing an N95 mask with a cloth one over that. Then she also sanitizes her hands as she walks in the door. I mask up when the nurse visits, I do not mask mom. After reading this post, I think I will at minimum put a face shied on mom, when the nurse comes. We suspended all our other helpers back in April.
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Excuse me. EXCUSE ME! You should be completely isolated from your parents, your husband and everyone else for at least 2 weeks then you go get tested and stay isolated til you get results. What don’t you understand about this virus??? . I’m floored. This is how the virus spreads. People can carry this virus with NO symptoms and spread it.
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Jeffi1952 Jun 2020
Agreed completely. She is not informed. Corona is a killer. Ignorance is why we are in this mess. How can anyone not know, it dominates TV, radio, not to mention all the masks, everyone looks like The Lone Ranger running around . If anyone can remember the good old days. No disrespect to anyone, but wise up people. God Bless all.
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If you go see her wear a mask the whole time you are there. Use disinfectant wipes to treat counters, doorknobs, appliance buttons, faucets, drawer pulls etc immediately on arrival. Come directly home, change your clothes, wash them, wash hands thoroughly. Other than going to see your Mother, don't go anywhere else for 14 days.
And make sure you wash your masks daily!!! Hand wash at night, hang up, dry in the morning.
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Seems like you do, at least temporarily. If your husband fears for contracting it and the impact on his job, there may be some resources for him (i.e. hotels) that have volunteered rooms...so HE could move temporarily out of your home while you continue caregiving. Or...you could move in with your folks. BUT if this worker was only in once, her time there was limited, she wore a mask, washed hands, I imagine the risk is low. Having workers of any type come in now is taking a chance...Just as an example I saw a home-care (aide) site post about how they were encouraging their staff to only serve clients (BUT HOW MANY??) and stay at home otherwise. Now how reasonable is that? Then take into consideration that many aides take private duty on to make ends meet....what they do and who they are with on off-duty hours makes them risky imo. I would hope nursing staff being more educated would be more cautious and taking every precaution. If the situation were reversed, wouldn't your husband want his own parents taken care of? I'd go with your heart...but with your eyes open...take care...
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