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My mother is 74, she has congestive heart failure and stage 4 kidney failure. In January of this year her pipes burst in her home and it is unlivable. She came to live with me and my 2 young children 4 and 5. It was temporary, or so I thought. Now 10 months later, life is difficult. She is not very mobile, uses a walker, only washes once a week, and only leaves the house for doctors appointments. I take her to all appointments pick up medicine 2 to 3 times a week. I do all of the cooking cleaning etc and take care of everything. I ask her about once a month if she has thought about getting a place to live and she says no, and is very angry at me. I try and do all I can, I have offered to help manage her medical bills, some she hasnt paid in 7 years, she gets mad and says she will do it, but doesnt. I am at a loss. I recently told her i needed money for gas and some bills, my electric bill has raised 40, since she moved in and i drive all the time gettings meds and drs appointments, using my own money. She was angered at that, but gave in. My fiance moved in recently, and it is very difficult. She sleeps on the couch, and doesnt follow doctors orders on moving, exercise diet. It is difficult with my children, they cannot be kids, she is on the couch sometimes sleeping until 2pm. She isnt bathing, I offer to help and she refuses. I dont want to make her mad, but I am suffering. I know she is depressed, but she wont see any more doctors than she has to. Any advice?

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Forgot to add this: That she will need to help you with the bills and you need xx amount per week.
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How about giving her a choice. Mom I need you to do these things each day so we can all live comfortably together or we will have to find another place for you to live. Start with a few little things like get washed (is she afraid she will fall in shower, do you have a shower chair) and dressed each day and all naps in your room. Explain to her that everyone has needs, your children specifically. She can get mad all she wants, but must listen and common courtesy to others is a must. Tell her if she chooses to get mad at you and not make changes for the good of all concerned then you will find her another place to live . However stress that she is the one who will ultimately make the choice whether to change and stay or leave. If she does not agree then unfortunately you will need to start your search for a place for mom. Taking care of a parent is not easy but your mom sounds like she is just stubborn. Good luck.
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Move her to Assisted Living or the county home. Your pick.
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