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We have spent countless hours trying to get the correct amount of benefits for my 92 year-old uncle who is a WWII Vet. My husband has sat with very helpful folks at the local Veterans Affairs office and filled (and re-filled) out form after form trying to get it just right. While my uncle did get approved for a few hundred dollars a month, it still is not the amount for which he clearly qualifies.


In the year since we started the process, my aunt (wife of my uncle) passed away, so we had to update forms and get that information into the mix. My uncle also moved from an assisted living facility to a memory care facility (which is more expensive). He will soon run out of funds and the facility is very aware of that. Last week he was placed on hospice care, so we don’t expect to ever see the money that the VA says he should receive retroactively back to January of 2019.


We love our country. We deeply appreciate those who have served in the military to help us enjoy all the freedoms we enjoy; however, this entire event has made us recognize how poorly the “powers that be” treat those who served. Even local politicians have tried to help, but we think that somewhere in the “system” our uncle’s papers are sitting in a pile on a desk or in a file stamped “wait longer, since he may die soon.”


Since we’re not all that familiar with how long this process typically takes, I thought I’d ask the people most familiar with helping their loved one to rightfully receive their earned VA benefits. Thanks for any insight you can give us!

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So sorry for your loss. My Mom was 89 and suffered from Dementia. When she passed, my comfort came from knowing that she knew she was going to heaven. That she would be whole again.
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busymom Jan 2020
I lost my mom to Parkinson’s 7 years ago. My dad had cancer and he passed away 3 years ago. Both of my parents (and I) have the hope of eternal life in heaven with our precious Savior, Jesus Christ. That knowledge is what provides hope and comfort when a dear loved one passes. I believe my uncle trusted in Christ as his Savior, but that his dementia and mental health issues clouded his faith and left him struggling with fear and anger. Since the Bible is clear that Jesus never lets go of His child (John 10:27-29), then my hope is that I will again see my uncle in heaven.

Thank you for showing compassion and taking time to add this message to the forum.
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Busymom, I am so sorry for your loss.

May God grant you grieving mercies and comfort during this difficult time.

Your uncle was blessed to have you as his advocate, as frustrating as it was for you it was so loving of you. Hugs!
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busymom Jan 2020
Thank you for your sweet words of comfort. We rejoice that my dear uncle did not have to suffer long in his last moments on earth. I hope my entrance into heaven will be as easy, but no matter what I endure, I know my Savior will be right there beside me (Psalm 23).
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BusyMom, thanks for the update, and condolences on your uncle's passing.
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Thank you to all of those who posted such wonderful information. My 92 year-old uncle passed away very quickly this afternoon, Sunday, January 26, after being taken to the ER this morning for a bleeding issue. His remains will be “laid to rest” next to his precious wife in a VA cemetary in the coming weeks. We will always honor the memory and the service he provided for our great country!
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BusyMom, thanks for your reply.   Sounds like someone "dropped the ball", somewhere, sometime.   

Do you know to which "team" (red, green, etc.) your aunt and uncle were assigned?    It would probably be in the initial notification papers from the VA.   If you have that, call that team and ask to speak with the Social Worker.    I found ours to be very helpful.   She might be able to suggest a method of correcting this error.  

If you don't have that information, call the VA hospital at which they registered and ask to speak with the benefits office.  (I'm not sure what it's actually called, and the military has its own nomenclature).  You want to try to find someone who can get to the bottom of this situation and find out where why the back funds weren't paid.

If I can think of anything else, I'll post back.    This obviously should not have happened.
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BusyMom, were you told that your uncle or aunt were qualified for a specific amount, but that amount hasn't been paid, and retroactive payments haven't come through?

I'm confused as to the amount issue; if it's to be paid retroactively and hasn't been, that's clearly an issue.    Or do you feel that the amount approved just isn't appropriate?

Have you involved the American Legion or VFW?   The AL helped us, after the claim was submitted by a local VA office which provided assistance in document preparation and claims applications.

This was more than a few years ago and I don't remember all the details, but I do recall getting a lump sum as well as monthly payments, all within a few months or so after the claim was approved.

Could you elaborate more on the specific issue of the amount your uncle and/or aunt expected to receive?

It might be that one of the service organizations I mentioned could help you.   But definitely don't involve one of the attorneys or other organizations that try to recruit Veterans and their families and charge for it.
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busymom Jan 2020
Yes, my aunt and uncle qualified for a specific amount (over $1,000 a month for my uncle alone) and then shortly before my aunt died (August of 2019), my uncle started getting a very small portion (less than $200 a month). My husband returned to the Veterans Affairs office and they said something must be wrong with the paperwork and something needed to be re-filed. He filled out more forms including one that had to be processed by the Assisted Living facility showing how much his and my aunt’s care costs were.

There has been no “lump sum” and as I said, the death of my aunt changed my uncle’s status, so more papers were submitted. Then, he moved to a more medically necessary facility (memory care), which costs more than the the room he and his wife shared at the AL facility. Most of the rooms at the new facility have 2 to a room to cut costs, and the director of the facility thought my uncle would do better by himself since he was having extreme mental health issues right after his wife’s death—but he did not charge extra and that has been huge in allowing my uncle to stay put for now.

The director of the Memory Care facility has a connection with one of the State Senators and has encouraged us to reach out to his office (we likely won’t be able to speak directly to the Senator, but perhaps someone in his office can help). I think we’re just weary of it all. This same aunt and uncle were at one time taken into custody of DSS and all of that was exhausting. On top of that, we’ve waited for over a year to get guardianship (first for both my aunt and uncle and now for my uncle—which is also likely not to occur). Thankfully, their son has POA and has been able to help when most needed.

Thank you for your ideas. I will pass them along to my husband.
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I know someone who recently got A&A for her MIL who is a widow of a Vietnam vet. My friend had to submit a mountain of paperwork, jump through hoops, resubmit several of the same forms multiple times due to paperwork "getting lost" by the VA. I warned her this would happen. She fought this battle for almost a year.

I hear it is a little faster if you go through an attorney who specializes in obtaining VA benefits.
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busymom Jan 2020
Thank you. I am sorry your poor friend had to go through this. I find all of this very sad when men and women have served in the military. Because my uncle is nearing end of life, we’ll probably not hire an attorney. My uncle has nearly no money left, and we may need to help cover funeral costs (cremation and burial in military plot, but still will cost several hundred dollars).
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An older friend of mine was active in the Air Force during the Korean war but was never deployed and was recently able to obtain about $2400 a month. He didn't even know about the benefit until he happened to talk to someone in the know who helped him with the application. It took about 9 months from the application process until he received his first check. I'd imagine there are many veterans who are unaware of this potential minor windfall. He only served 3 years on a base in Wyoming, but since it was during wartime he was able to get about $2400 a month.
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busymom Jan 2020
That's probably about how much my uncle would receive. We were told about it by the VA, since my aunt and uncle were struggling to get in a decent care facility (they were under DSS custody at the time). We felt that if we could at least get them more monthly income, we could improve their living status. Thankfully, they were placed in a better facility, but that was only after DSS realized they had some money in a savings account (which is almost completely gone).
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My father is getting over $1800 a month. But it took me 11 months to accomplish this. After they approved payment I still had to jump through more hoops to get retro. Used a lawyer. Not cheap.
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FloridaDD Jan 2020
Better than not getting
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I’m just know started this process. My husband is suffering from Parkinson’s, Diabetes and COPD.
But, I am very worried we will be thrown in a endless merry go round! This Administration is looking to cut everyday the needs for the seniors and Veterans. They seem to think the children will help....not true. They have their own problems with a family. And trying to make the money to survive in this crazy world that is exciting...
i pray for all the older generation.
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FloridaDD Jan 2020
I might not understand it, but if LO has social security, much of the VA money will have to spent on care.  A mechanical computation, you do not get to pocket the money.  We had already been paying out of pocket for home care and did not have a problem
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Did u apply for Aid and Attendance? When I applied for Mom the most a Vet could get was 1700 a month. I think it maybe more now. My Mom was turned down. She was in an AL with Dementia at the time. Since she was being placed in LTC with Medicaid footing the bill, I didn't appeal the finding. You can't have Medicaid and A & A too. Medicaid pays the higher amount.

If Uncle is running out of money, I would take what he has left and pay privately for LTC and apply for Medicaid. Even if he receives A&A, it will not cover the cost of his AL.
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busymom Jan 2020
We are working on several possibilities since my uncle is running out of money. One is to get the aid and attendance, the other is to get him into a VA nursing home (not too far from us, but long waiting list), or to get him on Medicaid. With hospice stepping in last week, I don’t know what the director of the facility and the medical staff are noting. We try to keep in touch with both. We’ve been very clear to the director as to where he stands financially, they are waiting for his checking/savings account to get to a certain amount so that he’ll qualify for Medicaid. I’ve always heard that this is a long process, so I don’t know why we’re waiting.
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We got my moms (WWII veteran) in about 4 months, and retroactive payment.  She had lost her discharge papers, but we got equivalent (with raised seal).   this was in 2018.  On request, we did request expedited service as mom (the veteran) was over 90
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busymom Jan 2020
My uncle is 92 and yes, we asked to have it expedited. Glad you’re mom was able to get her benefits!
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I got full Aid and Attendance for my mother (dad was a WWII vet). It took about 3 months and she was paid retro to the day of application. We had an envelop with all of my dad’s original Navy papers. We had his flight logbook.which detailed every combat mission he flew (proved dates he served in war and how many days). I think having the original paperwork helped tremendously in getting her approved so quickly. This was in 2015. I did the process directly with VA and did not pay a lawyer.
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busymom Jan 2020
I am so glad you were able to help your mom with this! She certainly deserves to get the benefit your dad earned in serving our country. Wow! What a keepsake to have your dad’s flight logbook. Hold on to that it’s precious.
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