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You are certainly crazy if you continue to put up with this. Find another job. Encourage your wife to find another job. STOP being dependent financially on your parents' goodwill. One of you work full time while the other goes to school. Then switch roles. Both of you get a good education.

This whole situation is garbage.

You should be able to love your grandmother, visiting her occasionally, NOT being responsible for her care.

Your parents can't bare to place her where she can get good care 24/7, and they can't take care of her themselves. Looks like they'll have to come up with another solution, doesn't it?
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