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I am going to propose something that you all may have a problem with.

FIL is not incompetent and can accept or reject meds. Do not cajole.

If this results in a medical emergency, 911 gets called and he goes to ER.

From there, placement is much simpler.

He's clearly demonstrating that he needs more and DIFFERENT care than is/can be given in a home.
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PeggySue2020 Nov 5, 2023
Thank, you Barb.
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I had a similar problem with my husband. I checked with his doctors and all of his pills could be crushed. Medication was mixed with applesauce and he took it well.
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I'm very sorry for your caregiving woes. You have way too much for one person to handle, and I'm glad husband helps. BUT - !? How long can you continue to do this?

You're already majorly stressed, and it's not likely to get better. For your own sanity, husband who talks all the time needs an evaluation for something or other. Certainly for FIL, telehealth appointments are needed. But I'm not sure a doctor would continue to see him on telehealth without FIL coming into the office at least once in a while. FIL, being diabetic, must have labs, right? If he won't leave the house, how can he get them? Without labs, how does he get medication?

Enlist the help of their doctors. Someone - or two, three or four - may need to be in assisted living. memory care, or skilled nursing. That would take some of the burden off of you.
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THank you. He is also diabetic. He just scowls at me and says "I ain't taking them". Lately when I dial up his shot he looks at his wrist and asks what do I do with this? Confusion so I sit with him and keep open communication. He hates leaving the house so Dr Apts are a "no". Need to look into phone Apts. I like the apple sauce ideas. Husband takes care of kitchen, floors and maintenance. I do house keeping and meds for Mom, Dad and hubby. Who talks constantly please help me
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You don't give ages. It helps with getting answers.

I agree, have the Dr. go over his meds. If on Cholesterol meds, I would drop them. Blood thinners, after a time they cause internal bleeding. Blood pressure they need to keep. Insulin.

You can crush up some pills. You can get it in liquid form. Put the pill in pudding, yogurt or applesauce.
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Where’s your husband and why isn’t he the one giving FIL his meds? If husband doesn’t help, you need to have a serious talk because FIL isn’t your responsibility.
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First stop is the doc. May be time to go over the need for so many drugs, and whether they are really helping. May be time for some consideration of palliative or hospice care, or even placement if this isn't your only issue. I agree with Barb about our needing more information for you when you post. You may be down to the old experimentation of where you can hide the drugs, and what pudding best hides the taste.
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In what way giving a hard time?

Outright refusal?

"you're trying to poison me"

I'll take them later.

More info needed for good advice to be given.
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