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For the past year we have been caring for my 92 year-old grandma. She is in very good health. She is only on a water pill and one for cholesterol, as far as her meds go. She has always showered for us once a week (didn't look forward to it but did it) but now she has absolutely refused for the last 2 months. I agree with the concept that she came up in an era where people didn't shower daily but we are not imposing that on her. All we ask is once a week and she is absolutely defiant about it. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. Any insight or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
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Brecka428 if Mum won't shower then you could always bed bath her. You can get inflatable baths so that you can wash her hair (just google inflatable hair wash baths) or you can also get (again google it) a non rinse shower cap - not so good for permanent use but as an inbetweener works well. If she doesn't want to wash - then you have a bigger problem.

My mum is 93 and is worn out by showering - she tends to sleep for about 2 hours afterwards so I still manage to get her in the shower but between times I use no rinse body wash and I buy disposal DRY wipes - they vary hugely in price so shop around then I just use those in water with the no rinse body wash. I dry her using a hair dryer on warm if her skin is crepey but hers usually isn't. Then I massage cream into her body - back arms legs finish off with a barrier cream on the vulval and anal area and from time to time also need to use it in the groin area.

If you are going to bed bath put either towels down or better still a waterproof sheet. I don't find it takes any longer than a shower, even if I do wash her hair in bed. If you're not sure how to go about it there are heaps of videos on you tube that are really useful.

To get mum to have a shower I use two approaches. i either say the doctor says you need to have a shower once a week now so that we can be sure you don't get an infection especially a UTI. OR I say mum I know you don't want to have a shower but I must make sure you are clean 'down there' (mum doesn't do normal terminology for anything below the waist - well below the neck really ) so if it isn't a shower then we have to go the bed bath route. Don't worry I can wash your hair as well - then you have it covered either way.

If she is still adamant and won't let you wash her at all then use wet wipes. not the best solution but better than nothing. when Mum has been poorly I have used those to wipe her down and they use them in the hospitals over here a lot.
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if it were not for this sling I could bathe myself, but I only have use of my right hand (fortunately). would love to find someone near by to come in for 2-3 hours daily,or at least three times a week.
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204wymberly, I had a broken upper arm and was sling bound... but I was allowed to take off the sling to get into the shower. It was painful but a person has to do what they need to do. What a mess trying to bathe and trying to towel dry :P I did cut back on my showers during the healing process, and bought those baby wet wipes to use in between showers.

Call a few caregiving Agencies to see what they have available, if you are able to afford a professional paid caregiver.
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Living in a Caribbean island if you do not bath every day you feel really unconfortable,since there is not aircondition in most homes. So, body lotion is recomended.
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My grandma showers every day due to her incontinence and honestly because if she doesn't she appears to get itchy rashes in her folds. I only have her hair washed every few days though since that doesn't appear to bother her. Everyday after the shower, she gets her face lotion put on, her legs massaged with lotion as well and gets powdered to help with the rashes she gets from sweating. If she goes without a shower for longer than two days, the rashes get really flared up and are hard to manage. It takes me a few days of constant powder and prescription creams to bring the rashes back into being managed.
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Mom was never big on bathing. She has always chosen to use the bathroom sink and a washcloth. Since she won't allow anyone to help her in the bathroom, it's impossible to know if she is taking care of personal hygeine.
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My grandmother has kidney disease and must bathe every other day. My mother and I were there when the doctor said full on bath or shower not those wipes.Not only to make sure her private area is clean (to keep out UTI's) but having issues with your kidneys can change skin PH and make you stink. Grandma wasn't happy about that and still won't bathe. She will go three weeks without a bath. Since she lives by herself, we are just waiting for that crisis call.
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We discovered that mom stopped bathing. It was an odor that made me realize she was having trouble with this. Its a combination of her physical problems and her dementia. The best solution I can come up with is to get in the shower with her (I have underwear on). The most difficult part is getting her out of her clothes and back into a fresh outfit afterward. She has a terrible time with the steps involved in removing clothing. After the first time I shut myself in my own bathroom and cried. It's better now that we have a system down.
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I am 80 and don't shower at home any longer since I live alone and have a step-over tub to get into the shower. I'm afraid of falling. I go to my local gym as often as possible, at least before any appointments. I can't make it every day particularly in the winter, so happy to see that it's ok to go longer without one.
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I believe 1-2 times a week is fine. Try sponge bathing as well.
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